# Worst skyscraper ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2019, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146 "2019-01-21T11:12:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/21 "2019-01-22T01:46:38Z")
I want a floor for a paper mill! ~VOW (remembering when we lived in Tacoma, WA, and were blessed with the famous “Tacoma Aroma”) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/22 "2019-01-22T03:57:36Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I’ll take the top floor to sell pianos and other heavy object that won’t fit in the elevators. Wait, where the fuck am I gonna put my stockyards and slaughterhouse, then? I need easy access to the roof to graze the cattle. > [@Sarabellum](#): > > Haha, I was certain this was a reference to that Death Star-looking hotel in Pyongyang. God help me, I actually kind of like that building. I know it’s empty and shoddily constructed, but I think it looks pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/23 "2019-01-22T04:01:30Z")
> [@Sarabellum](#): > > Haha, I was certain this was a reference to that Death Star-looking hotel in Pyongyang. > [@mixdenny](#): > > I thought a Death Star was a sphere, not an arrowhead? I think they mean Star Destroyer shaped. Star Destroyers are the iconic arrowhead-shaped Imperial ships; the Death Star _is_ a sphere. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/24 "2019-01-22T07:00:16Z")
Why send all your sewage offsite to be processed when it can be done right here in house at Little Nemo’s Mile High Waste Recycling Facility on the 73rd floor? We cut the transportation costs and pass the savings on to you. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/25 "2019-01-22T10:01:18Z")
Everyone’s going pretty high up at the moment- I’ll take the second floor for my tiger sanctuary. They do like stalking passers by out the windows, so they’d rather be lower to the ground, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/26 "2019-01-22T10:19:31Z")
Well if you’re an Evil Mastermind building a lair then you have to answer the all important question of what’s in the basement: lava pool or scorpion pit? You can’t really have\* both\* since the fumes from the lava will kill off the scorpions, and a pit full of dead scorpions just doesn’t have the same effect. Lava pits are more dramatic but need much more expensive upkeep, since you just have to make sure to drop in the occasional hero or underling into the scorpion pit to keep them fed. On the _other_ hand, when you self destruct your base it’s much more dramatic when the whole skyscraper just pancakes straight down into the lava. If you do it right you can get this really cool red-underlit-then-fireball effect as it collapses. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/27 "2019-01-22T11:48:43Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Great! Now I have a place to send the hides from my meat-packing operation on the 85th floor. > > Oh, and if you’re building from the ground up, [don’t make it taller while eliminating support columns to open up more floor space.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sampoong_Department_Store_collapse) But if you’re just dropping it in from helicopters … she’ll be right mate? ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/28 "2019-01-22T12:46:52Z")
Where are you building this thing? Might I suggest on top of an ancient Native American burial ground. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/29 "2019-01-22T13:12:39Z")
I think the cattle operation should go on the floor above the meat-packing. It just makes sense to keep those two near each other. I’ll run an organic composting operation on the floor below the abbattoir. You can put the air returns for the HVAC in my space if you’d like; I’d appreciate the breeze, and there will be all kinds of good “natural” smells to fill the building instead of those awful chemical air fresheners. As for definition two, I’ll nominate the local “Skyline Towers.” A truly awful rape of the landscape which is sold as a “lifestyle” building to its unfortunate occupants. There is a murder or a suicide there every year. It is also quite poorly built.[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skyline\_Towers\_collapse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skyline_Towers_collapse) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/30 "2019-01-22T13:53:09Z")
[Monty Python did it better.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85dq13RDMys) > [@](#): > > Mr. Wiggin: This is a 12-story block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these… > > Client 1: Excuse me. > > Mr. Wiggin: Yes? > > Client 1: Did you say ‘knives’? > > Mr. Wiggin: Rotating knives, yes. > > Client 2: Do I take it that you are proposing to slaughter our tenants? > > Mr. Wiggin: …Does that not fit in with your plans? > > Client 1: Not really. We asked for a simple block of flats. > > Mr. Wiggin: Oh. I hadn’t fully divined your attitude towards the tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses. > > Clients: Ah. > > Mr. Wiggin: Pity. > > Clients: Yes. > > Mr. Wiggin: (indicating points of the model) Mind you, this is a real beaut. None of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying out of the windows incommoding the passers-by with this one. (confidentially) My life has been leading up to this. > > Client 2: Yes, and well done, but we wanted an apartment block. > > Mr. Wiggin: May I ask you to reconsider. > > Clients: Well… > > Mr. Wiggin: You wouldn’t regret this. Think of the tourist trade. > > Client 1: I’m sorry. We want a block of flats, not an abattoir. > > Mr. Wiggin: …I see. Well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig-ignorance I’ve come to expect from you non-creative garbage… You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker’s cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement,… you whining hypocritical toadies with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes. You wouldn’t let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn’t become a Freemason now if you went down on your lousy stinking knees and begged me. > > Client 2: We’re sorry you feel that way, but we did want a block of flats, nice though the abattoir is. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/31 "2019-01-22T14:29:30Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I’ll take the top floor to sell pianos and other heavy object that won’t fit in the elevators. I’ll take the floor below it for a bike and electric scooter rental shop. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/32 "2019-01-22T17:26:44Z")
I saw a program about a “skeleton processing” facility. People would bring their dead (or delightfully decomposing) creatures to this business, which had several nasty means of cleaning: cooking pots, acid baths, and my all-time favorite, containers of scavenger type insects who produce an almost polished pristine skeleton. I could probably sublet a portion of my floor to a taxidermy place! If some of the scavenger bugs manage to escape, well, whoopsie! I’m sure they can find entertainment on other floors! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/33 "2019-01-22T18:49:59Z")
I’ll take care of it with my open septic tank right at the HVAC inlet. I won’t charge too much, I promise. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/34 "2019-01-22T20:33:26Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > I saw a program about a “skeleton processing” facility. People would bring their dead (or delightfully decomposing) creatures to this business, which had several nasty means of cleaning: cooking pots, acid baths, and my all-time favorite, containers of scavenger type insects who produce an almost polished pristine skeleton. > > I could probably sublet a portion of my floor to a taxidermy place! > > If some of the scavenger bugs manage to escape, well, whoopsie! I’m sure they can find entertainment on other floors! > ~VOW Was it this place? Mike Rowe went there for a “Dirty Jobs” episode, where they showed how they processed animal bones, and NatGeo showed how they processed human specimens, which were from people who had donated their bodies to science. It was fascinating although obviously not for everybody. > **[Skulls Unlimited: World Leader in Real and Replica Skulls & Skeletons](https://www.skullsunlimited.com/)** > > Skulls Unlimited is the world's leading supplier of the most diverse selection of legally-obtained animal skulls and replicas. Real animal and human skulls for sale to buy online to professional education facilities and bone collector hobbyists. We... ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/35 "2019-01-22T21:43:46Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Everyone’s going pretty high up at the moment- I’ll take the second floor for my tiger sanctuary. > > They do like stalking passers by out the windows, so they’d rather be lower to the ground, I think. Ok, you can take the second floor, but I’m taking floors 3 to 20 for my bulk tire storage business. If I take out the floors, I’ll be able to stack the tires higher. ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2019, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/36 "2019-01-23T01:37:32Z")
I’ve moved my saw, lathe, and grinder into one of the lofts on the 52nd floor. C’mon by if you want to see art made from an underused medium: asbestos. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2019, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/37 "2019-01-23T02:31:56Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I think the cattle operation should go on the floor above the meat-packing. It just makes sense to keep those two near each other. Just watch out for the trap door. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2019, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/38 "2019-01-23T02:43:17Z")
It seems that everyone wants either the lower floors or the very uppermost ones. How about we use some of the less desirable space in the center for the parking structure? I know, some people might grumble about driving up and down thirty or so stories of ramps just to find a parking place, but we want to encourage our tenants to use mass transit, right? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2019, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/39 "2019-02-06T22:30:16Z")
Forget about the OP’s building: the Johnny Nucleo-designed, tallest, narrowest, 280-story building in all of Melonville was beset by some inconveniences like, oh, fire, trapping luminaries like Edith Prickly, Guy Cabellero, Dr. Tongue, Bruno, hookers, and others in the top lounge, which was of course was a combination revolving restaurant and nuclear reactor. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2019, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146/40 "2019-02-06T22:45:34Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > It seems that everyone wants either the lower floors or the very uppermost ones. How about we use some of the less desirable space in the center for the parking structure? [Like this?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_City) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-skyscraper-ever/828146.md?page=3)