# Worst song ever recored **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177 "2003-06-25T00:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kebbyrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ee7513/32.png) [@kebbyrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kebbyrd)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/21 "2003-06-25T07:43:16Z")
I believe that, somewhere about the 10 minute mark of part three, _Metal Machine Music_ by Lou Reed sinks to a level of near unlistenability. I am unsure if it improves after that point. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/22 "2003-06-25T07:50:34Z")
Agadoo by Black Lace ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/23 "2003-06-25T09:34:22Z")
Oh come on. _Disco Duck_ was a parody. _Macarthur Park_ and _Seasons in the Sun_ are fairly decent. Now, if you want almost-unmentionable dreck, I need only say… _Havin’ my baby…_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/24 "2003-06-25T10:35:05Z")
You people only think those songs are bad because you’ve never heard this one. That must be it 😃 The worst of all is **Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)** by Jay Z. I’m pretty sure that the shrill shrieking of the chorus causes brain aneurysms, that’s why I’ve vigilently limited my exposure to it. ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/25 "2003-06-25T10:46:28Z")
I wonder if there are any songs that are truly and universally reviled, most of the songs I’ve recognised here are liked by at least 1 person I know. ---
**Author:** ![And\_that\_s\_the\_bottom\_line](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df788c/32.png) [@And\_that\_s\_the\_bottom\_line](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/And_that_s_the_bottom_line)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/26 "2003-06-25T10:57:04Z")
I have to go with **Ice Ice Baby** and pretty much anything recorded by Britney Spears. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/27 "2003-06-25T11:03:09Z")
I think people generally think the worst song ever is something they don’t like but were forced to listen to. That being said, I’d have to say Ironic. Being a Alannis Morisette (sp?) fan was a big reason I divorced my ex wife. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/28 "2003-06-25T13:29:45Z")
On CBC last month there was a bit of a special on this company that cut records from poems people sent in back in the 70s. They advertised in the back of comic books and magazines. People would then in their “poems” or lyrics and some cash and the company would put it to music and make a record out of it. All I will say is I haven’t laughed so hard in ages at some of these songs they played. Example: Imagine a “song” made from a really bad generic disco background music and the vocalist being a stereotypical sounding lounge lizard: \*Disco, disco, discooo, Want to make a cake with Crisco, Let’s go paint a fresco, Disco, disco disco…\* Or something like that. It was just bizzare. For an actual commercially released song: > [@](#): > > ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ by William Shatner. It’s infamous for a reason 'ya know… Actually, I think his **Mr. Tambourine Man** was even worse. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/29 "2003-06-25T13:39:18Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I can stop this thread right now with… “Never Been to Me” by Charlene. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/30 "2003-06-25T13:43:41Z")
I don’t mind Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem), except that Jay-Z ruins it with substandard rapping. The hook and the beat is pretty good though. My pick is Hotel California. The song that symbolised rock’s transition from “dangerous thing that was going to be the end of society” to “hey, old bald guys can listen to this stuff too!” The song that created Classic Rawk radio. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/31 "2003-06-25T13:44:35Z")
One of the _Bathroom Readers_ has a list of their “Worst 10” songs. One of those, though I’ve never heard it, is a real show-stopper. It’s called “Why?” and it’s sung by a children’s chorus and…Herve Villechaize! Yes, “De plane! De plane!” Singing! And he sings like he talks! Sample lyrics: “Why?! Do pipple hef to fight? Don’t dey know what de cheeldren know?” ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/32 "2003-06-25T13:45:11Z")
You’ve gotta include Good Morning Starshine in this list. Gliddy glub gloopy Nibby nabby noopy La la la lo lo Sabba sibby sabba Nooby abba nabba Le le lo lo Tooby ooby walla Nooby abba naba Aaaaaaararrrrrghghg ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/33 "2003-06-25T13:56:05Z")
Swingin by John Anderson. Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/34 "2003-06-25T14:04:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caricci \* > \*\* > “Never Been to Me” by Charlene. \*\* But it’s redeemed somewhat by the parody “Never Been to Meath” by Irish poultry celebrity and cowboy builder, Dustin the Turkey. My vote goes to _Life_ by Des’ree… …I don’t want to see a ghost, It’s the sight that I fear most I’d rather have a piece of toast… …fer fuck’s sake. And _Loving You_ is a brilliant, but fundamentally mad, song. I love the implication that loving ugly people is hard. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/35 "2003-06-25T14:05:40Z")
First of all, no one here (myself included) knows the name of the worst song ever recorded, since the really bad ones never became hits. Think about it: whatever you choose, there’s something infinitely worse that was recorded on a major label and quickly forgotten. I used to go through albums for my college radio station, and believe me, the dreck you’ve never heard of makes any of the songs previously listed sound like Beethoven. And Something infinitely worse than that that was recorded by an “independent” artist and sold four copies. ---
**Author:** ![Winterwren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Winterwren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winterwren)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/36 "2003-06-25T15:06:42Z")
“The Disco Ballad of Sweeney Todd” My ex and I used to use it when parties ran too late: put that on the turntable, and people suddenly start looking for their coats. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/37 "2003-06-25T15:41:01Z")
Does anyone remember this thing they did a story on This American Life on PR at one point as couple of years ago? A couple of guys did a poll as to what elements of music people hated the most and composed works to fit the bad criteria exactly-- a song about Labor Day with a children’s choir, an opera singer doing some vibrato country western singing, and tubas and oboes or something? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/38 "2003-06-25T16:39:40Z")
“Patches” 'Nuff said. -Rav ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/39 "2003-06-25T17:00:11Z")
I’d say “Yellow” by Coldplay - unintentionally hilarious and lyrically deeply stupid when it thinks it’s meaningful. Also: “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. Utterly cynical balladeering with all the warmth and passion of an icecube. “Lucky” by Britney Spears. Boy is that dumb. “Every Breath You Take” by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans. Not because it misunderstands Sting; who cares about that? Because it’s really really bad. “Hey Mickey” by Lolly. Honestly, worse than the original. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something. Luckily a one-hit-wonder. Unluckily, bizarre in just the wrong way, and far too chirpy. All of Westlife’s identikit ballads. I also second Jay Z’s version of “Hard Knock Life”. A classic example of taking one of the most annoying songs in history and turning it into a really poor rap track. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/40 "2003-06-25T17:20:16Z")
Well, Dave Barry’s “Bad Song Survey” named MacArthur Park, but he also noted with some regret that other songs, very deserving of the label “Worst Song Ever”, weren’t well-known enough to get more votes. Specifically, he cited “Hooty Sapperticker” by Barbara and the Boys. I have this song. It’s atrocious. But I’m torn between whether it or “I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek” by The Go-Gos (no, not _those_ Go-Gos, this is some British group that predated the Belinda Carlisle group) is worse. There’s a link to the song at the bottom of this page: [Stomp Tokyo’s review of _Don’t Open Till Christmas_](http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/d/dont-open-till-xmas.html). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=3)