# Worst song ever recored **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177 "2003-06-25T00:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/81 "2003-06-26T16:36:29Z")
[**HELL’S JUKEBOX!!!**](http://www.monkeyspit.net/jukebox/) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/82 "2003-06-26T16:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jellen92 \* > \*\*“Butterfly Kisses” - can’t remember the artist… > This song makes me violent when I hear it! > > \*\* Hey, my Dad gave me that album as a gift. He’s not very good at expressing his feelings, (He never told me he loved me until I was in my 20s) and this was his way of telling me how he much he loved me. So back, off, buddy 🙂 I will second Swingin’ by John Anderson. God, how I loathed that song. _Just a-swaangginnnn’_ Excuse me while I find an icepick to dig out my eardrums. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/83 "2003-06-26T16:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*Hey, my Dad gave me that album as a gift. He’s not very good at expressing his feelings, (He never told me he loved me until I was in my 20s) and this was his way of telling me how he much he loved me. > > So back, off, buddy 🙂 > \*\* Cute story. Horrible song. Terrible as it is though, it’s a work of staggering genius compared to that song (by the same artist I believe) about the kid buying a pair of shoes for his dying mother. That song could drop a diabetic at fifty yards. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/84 "2003-06-26T17:05:32Z")
I realize that everybody is afraid, nay, _horrified_ beyond all belief, as to what the Worst. Song. Ever. REALLY is, so you won’t post it out of fear of reviving this sonic nightmare to drive you insane for the rest of your lives. So I will do it for you. I will sacrifice what’s left of my sanity on behalf of the Straight Dope. Hope you appreciate it. It’s Come On Eilleen by the Dexys Midnight Runners. May they roast in one-hit-wonder hell for all eternity. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/85 "2003-06-26T17:13:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \* > \*\*I realize that everybody is afraid, nay, _horrified_ beyond all belief, as to what the Worst. Song. Ever. REALLY is, so you won’t post it out of fear of reviving this sonic nightmare to drive you insane for the rest of your lives. > > So I will do it for you. I will sacrifice what’s left of my sanity on behalf of the Straight Dope. Hope you appreciate it. > > It’s Come On Eilleen by the Dexys Midnight Runners. May they roast in one-hit-wonder hell for all eternity. \*\* I hate you very much. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/86 "2003-06-26T17:46:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \* > \*\* > It’s Come On Eilleen by the Dexys Midnight Runners. May they roast in one-hit-wonder hell for all eternity. \*\* Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/87 "2003-06-26T18:03:10Z")
I Drove All Night Not by the original by Cyndi Lauper, by that horrid version by Celine Dion - that Chrysler keeps using in every freaking commercial. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/88 "2003-06-26T18:40:51Z")
Achey Breaky Heart - Billie Ray Cyrus. Single Girl - Sandy Posey , a rather twee little contribution. I just called to say I love you - Stevie Wonder, drekk drekk drekk. Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/89 "2003-06-26T19:35:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Swingin by John Anderson My father was John Anderson’s golf partner/teacher. I hate my father. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/90 "2003-06-26T19:39:56Z")
Now that I think of it, that period of the 1980’s was actually a dizzying confluence of things **vibrotronica** hates: -Country music generally (except Johnny Cash) -John Anderson specifically -The Nashville music machine that made John Anderson a whole bunch of money -“Swangin’” -my father -golf ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/91 "2003-06-26T22:19:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rolandgunslinger \* > \*\*Undercover Angel-AlanO’day > …SAY WHAAAT! SAY OO OO OO WEEE! \*\* Especially because this song usually makes me think of Uncovered Spike. [sub]flees, dodging a shower of airborne rotting vegetables[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/92 "2003-06-26T23:02:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by williamweigand \* > \*\*One starts out – “Oh Mama, I’m in fear of my life ,etc.” \*\* That one is **Styx** - “Renegade” ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/93 "2003-06-26T23:41:33Z")
I don’t know if posting country and western songs to this thread is cheating. I actually _like_ country music, but I know how a lot of you feel about it, and it’s often hard to tell whether the artists are being deliberately awful or not (_Dropkick me Jesus through the goalposts of life_), but if ever there is a song in the “So Bad It’s Good” category, it’s [Teddy Bear](http://cgi2.osk.3web.ne.jp/~brockenb/SongLyrics/RedSovine/Album_TeddyBear.shtml#TeddyBear) by Red Sovine. It’s about a little crippled boy talking to truckers on his dead father’s CB. Truly magnificently, royally, and spectacularly awful it is… > [@](#): > > _Excerpt of lyrics from the link_ > “Now, I’m not supposed to bother you fellas out there, > Mom says you’re busy and for me to stay off the air. > But, you see, I get lonely and it helps to talk > 'Cause that’s about all I can do. I’m crippled and I can’t walk.” > > I came back and told him to fire up that mike > And I’d talk to him as long as he’d like. > “This was my dad’s radio,” the little boy said, > "But I guess it’s mine and Mom’s now 'cause my daddy’s dead. > Dad had a wreck about a month ago. > He was trying to get home in a blinding snow. > Mom has to work now to make ends meet > And I’m not much help with my two crippled feet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/94 "2003-06-27T01:26:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caricci \* > \*\*Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I can stop this thread right now with… > > “Never Been to Me” by Charlene. \*\* You had to mention it, didn’t you? That is the worst song I can ever remember hearing…and hearing…and hearing. Even now, my sanity is starting to slip as it echoes in my…GAHHHHHHHHH!!! Another awful song - almost as bad - is Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves”. Well, maybe just about any song by Cher. Her voice grates on my nerves. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/95 "2003-06-27T02:49:14Z")
Does anyone remember a song called “Once You Understand” by a band called, for some bizarre reason best known only to themselves, Think? It involved parents argueing with their children (‘cut your hair, get a real job’ type stuff) and then the father gets a phone call telling him to come down to the police station because his son has died of an OD. I think it was a minor hit in the 70’s–I remember it being popular with my 6th grade class. So why was the dead kid’s body at the police station? Another bad song, which was popular in my 6th grade class, and which I believe was by a band called Wild Cherry, had lyrics which went “Play that funky music, white boy!” I always thought they were singing “Play that _&#%@_ music right, boy.” I’m glad it’s been something like 27 years since I heard either of those songs. It almost makes getting old worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/96 "2003-06-27T03:36:19Z")
Oh man! I forgot… Shannon - Henry Grosse “Sannon is gone I heard, Shes drifted out to sea” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/97 "2003-06-27T06:36:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by diku \* > \*\*Afternoon Delight. Has to be. There couldn’t be anything worse, could there? \*\* Possibly “Break my stride,” by Matthew Wilder, but not much. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/98 "2003-06-27T06:52:13Z")
“Even the nights are better” - by Air Supply “Wildfire” - by ??? Michael Martin Murphy ??? A hearty second on “Patches” and “Knock 3 Times” “Daddy Wouldn’t Buy Me a Bow-Wow” - not sure if this counts. It’s from an old movie called _Evergreen_ And there was one by a group called Gary Pucket and the Union Gap that I have, thank goodness, repressed completely. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/99 "2003-06-27T08:05:13Z")
Hearty second (third) to Shatner’s Tamborine Man. Unlike bad songs that suck, it’s a bad song that’s uproariously funnny. You may think he was just clueless, but no: Shatner was totally skewering the songs he sung, trust me. You can ever listen to them again without thinking of his super-emotive renditions. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/100 "2003-06-27T08:19:44Z")
“Sometimes When We Touch,” by Dan Hill. Dave Barry’s bad song book claims it sounds like the singer is having his prostate examined by Captain Hook. When I actually heard the song for the first time, I had to agree. _At times I`d like to break you and drag you to your knees At times I`d like to break through and hold you endlessly…_ Love you too, Dan. Alternately, here is [the worst song ever recorded](http://www.diacenter.org/km/musiccd.html). You just can’t argue with statistics. You can also [purchase](http://www.diabooks.org/diabooks/category.jsp?categoryID=104) a CD of it. It’s worth every bit, believe me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=6)