# Worst song ever recored **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177 "2003-06-25T00:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/101 "2003-06-27T14:43:34Z")
**Cicada2003** , thanks a lot for earworming me with “Wildfire”. Where’s the nearest glue factory? “Rocky Raccoon” is the worst Beatles ever. John said they never finished it. Well, not starting it would have been an even better idea. “I Will Always Love You” is mocked magnificently in HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/102 "2003-06-27T17:14:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*Actually, I think his **Mr. Tambourine Man** was even worse. \*\* I concur. Of course, when he did **Rocket Man** that was the actual cause of Skylab falling. I love **The Annoying Music Show** on NPR, and one time during pledge week here (the show originates at WBEZ in Chicago) Jim Nader kept playing this piece of insipid dreck called **Gulls** over and over, threatening that if people didn’t call in with pledges he’d just keep it going. Worst. Record. Ever. Basically it went: \*Gulls, look at them fly, look at them fly, look at them fly, high. Where are they going, to?\* Repeat. It was a man singing in this warbling high falsetto too. Man it was horrible. I hope I hear it again soon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/103 "2003-06-27T17:18:17Z")
Oh, that’s not to be confused with **Lesbian Seagull** , which is one of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard. According to [Reallyrics.com](http://Reallyrics.com) it’s by Englebert Humperdink. I don’t think he recorded the version I’ve heard though. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/104 "2003-06-27T18:28:19Z")
Please allow me to introduce myself… (no, I wasn’t nominating that song for your list!) I agree with most of the choices so far, although I actually like (and own) some of them. However, on the way to work this morning, we couldn’t help but overhear from another vehicle, the blasting sound of a rap song set to the music of the Christmas hymn, “Joy To The World.” I don’t know who it was by, and I don’t want to know. I only hope I never hear it again! Not only did it qualify for worst song of all time, it also qualifies for worst _idea_ for a song, and it’s the most blatant example I’ve ever encountered of “I don’t know how to compose music, so I’ll just totally rip off this song that’s public domain so I won’t get sued.” Yeesh!! Just so you’ll all know in advance that I’m a wiseguy, could I nominate for worst song of all time everything recorded since 1986? I’m happy to be today’s newest member of the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/105 "2003-06-27T18:44:05Z")
“Breaking up is hard to do.” sung by (among others) Shaun Cassidy. Down-doobie-doo-down-down. Breaking up is hard to do. Na-nah-na-nah-naaaa-naaaa-nah-na-nahhhh. 'nuff said. “I think I love you” by David Cassidy & the session-musicians-pretending-that- they-were ‘the Partridge Family’. (The t.v. show depicts Keith Partridge singing this song – with his mother!!!) ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/106 "2003-06-27T18:44:49Z")
I must take exception to Apos’ posting that William Shatner’s “singing” is done purposely to inject humor into the music, etc. No Apos, Shatner IS incredibly clueless. His ego is the size of the National Debt and he thinks anything he does is pure genius. (Star Trek V ??? Tek War ???) Nope, his huge ego blocks out any view he has of reality. While I am here, might as well mention Dickie Lee’s other dead teenager song - “Laurie” - based on an Urban Legend. ---
**Author:** ![Grousser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Grousser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grousser)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/107 "2003-06-27T19:45:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\*First of all, no one here (myself included) knows the name of the worst song ever recorded, since the really bad ones never became hits. > > Think about it: whatever you choose, there’s something infinitely worse that was recorded on a major label and quickly forgotten. I used to go through albums for my college radio station, and believe me, the dreck you’ve never heard of makes any of the songs previously listed sound like Beethoven. > > And Something infinitely worse than that that was recorded by an “independent” artist and sold four copies. \*\* I agree with that. This kind of thread is analog for the “worst movie” ones; **RealityChuck** is right: we’ll never know the name of the worst. It’s all a matter of tastes, because I can’t believe “I will always love you” or “Come on Eileen” or “Yesterday” may be the worst ever. But the fun of this kind of threads is contributing to lists, I give you the worst _for me_, by many reasons: 1) I’m tired of hearing that song, 2) It’s well-done and well-performed and well-recorded but it’s silly or showy to me, 3) I don’t like that music genre and it’s a big hit, etc. 1. **I just call to say I love you** 2. **Disco Dee-Wa-Nee** 3. **Don’t worry be happy** 4. **Ice Ice Baby (heretic!)** 5. **Short dick man** And a few others. Special mention to my guilty pleasures: **The Flying Lizards** ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/108 "2003-06-27T23:01:14Z")
Perhaps not the worst song ever, but certainly dreadful, is “Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl”. I don’t know who sings it, but I hate it. I have a fairly high tolerance for cheesy music too, so it must be really bad. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/109 "2003-06-27T23:36:32Z")
What frightens me is how many of the previously mentioned songs I actually like. Heh. I hereby nominate: “No Way No Way” by [Vanilla](http://bothsidesnow.co.uk/bothsides2001/village/vanilla.html), an abomination loosely based on Piero Umiliani’s classic “Mah Na Mah Na” (as seen on the Muppet Show!). The now-defunct UK TV show The Chart Show voted this Worst Video Ever, claiming that their staff would lie on the floor with their hands over their ears whenever forced by viewer request to play it. I can’t say I blame them. (VH1 voted it #5 Worst, BTW.) I can’t find a link to the original song, but in Googling for links, I discovered they released a [remix](http://www.ukscreen.com/music/318) last year. _The horror_… ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/110 "2003-06-28T00:34:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mehitabel \* > **Cicada2003, thanks a lot for earworming me with “Wildfire”. Where’s the nearest glue factory?** The dangers of the thread. _I_ went to bed and then _woke up with_ “Seasons in the Sun.” AAaaaarggghh! ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/111 "2003-06-28T13:38:07Z")
This one may be too recent to qualify as the worst song ever, but it’s pretty damn bad. I was driving home the other night, flipping stations on the radio when I heard Mariah Carey singing Def Leppard’s “Bringing on the Heartbreak.” They’ve slowed it down, eliminated the guitars and she’s wailing like a banshee for about four minutes. God awful!! The woman must be stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/112 "2003-06-28T15:06:47Z")
I’ve woken up the last two mornings with “Never Been To Me” playing over and over and OVER in my head. This could be a sign of serious depression. If it doesn’t stop soon, it’ll sure cause one! ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/113 "2003-06-28T16:03:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheLoadedDog \* > \*\*I don’t know if posting country and western songs to this thread is cheating. I actually _like_ country music, but I know how a lot of you feel about it, and it’s often hard to tell whether the artists are being deliberately awful or not (_Dropkick me Jesus through the goalposts of life_), but if ever there is a song in the “So Bad It’s Good” category, it’s [Teddy Bear](http://cgi2.osk.3web.ne.jp/~brockenb/SongLyrics/RedSovine/Album_TeddyBear.shtml#TeddyBear) by Red Sovine. It’s about a little crippled boy talking to truckers on his dead father’s CB. Truly magnificently, royally, and spectacularly awful it is… > 😃 \*\* Ouch! I remember feeling bummed out by a country song called “Giddy-Up Go,” and I thought that was the worst drek. Just from the lyrics, “Teddy Bear” tops that – and I’ve never heard the song. (If there is justice in the world, I never will.) Pure masturbation of the tear ducts. ---
**Author:** ![Monza305](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Monza305](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monza305)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/114 "2003-06-28T16:20:42Z")
My vote has to go to the remake of “Rock And Roll All Nite” by Toad The Wet Sprocket on the 'Kiss My Ass" Kiss tribute album. It sounds like a country band on qualudes! If you’ve never heard it before, consider yourself lucky. I want to puke up blood every time I hear it. (Which, thankfully, is almost never). Even non Kiss fans will understand that the party spirit of the song is totaly gone when there’s almost no drums, and acoustic guitar!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/115 "2003-06-28T18:08:05Z")
I would nominate a song that was introduced to me by **MsRobyn** and to her by **MaxTorque** …the immortal “Hooty Sapperticker” by Barbara and the Boys…once you hear it the damn thing it will stick in your head forever…thank god I lost my copy of it when I reformatted my computer… Keith ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/116 "2003-06-28T20:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cicada2003 \* > \*\*The dangers of the thread. _I_ went to bed and then _woke up with_ “Seasons in the Sun.” AAaaaarggghh! \*\* For the last _four days_ I have been plagued by “The Rain, The Park, and Other Things” by The Cowsills. I had to do some research to remember the title It’s the one that goes: _And I knew I knew I knew I knew I knew/That she had made me happy happy happy/ Flowers in her hair/Flower everywhere/ I love the flower girl_ etc. Please make it stop. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/117 "2003-06-28T20:41:46Z")
This thread has released more than a few demons. I’ve got the following lines running through my brain now: ## Skyrockets in flight Afternoon deliiii—iiight Aa–aa-aafternoon delight Bleh! ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/118 "2003-06-28T21:32:49Z")
I have a problem with overly sentimental ballads and sanctimonious songwriters. To that end I would nominate “Another Day in Paradise” by our beloved Phil Collins. The lyrics of that song never fail to make me gag. Yeah Phil I’m thinking twice. Twit! I will always carp on the Boyz II Men song that I believe is called “I’ll Make Love to You”. It may not be the worst song but it has the worst single line. “Put your clothes on the floor and I’ll take my clothes off tooooooo!” Looking at these guys that can only be interpreted as a threat. The art of musical seduction has apparantely gone wayyy downhill since Barry Wiliams and Marvin Gaye stopped making hits. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/119 "2003-06-28T22:17:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fruitbat \* > \*\*I The art of musical seduction has apparantely gone wayyy downhill since Barry Wiliams and Marvin Gaye stopped making hits. \*\* I know you meant to say Barry White, but your post gave me this awful ‘Greg Brady’ visual. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/120 "2003-06-28T22:43:24Z")
Doh! Yes, those are two very different people aren’t they. I deserve any mocking that may come my way for that one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=7)