# Worst song ever recored **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177 "2003-06-25T00:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![guy\_from\_wpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@guy\_from\_wpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guy_from_wpa)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/121 "2003-06-29T03:29:40Z")
Just A Friend, Biz Markie Don’t even look for it, don’t think about it. If you never listen to anyone else’s advice for the rest of your life, just don’t! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/122 "2003-06-29T03:48:33Z")
Oh, maybe because my name is Wendy… _And Windy has stormy eyes That flash at the sound of lies_ I’ve always hated that song. ---
**Author:** ![maddiesilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@maddiesilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maddiesilver)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/123 "2003-06-29T04:37:56Z")
Let’s see: annoying, silly, pretentious, gratingly sung, insanely repetitive…and yes, he DOES say “modren” for some reason… What could it be besides Styx, “Mr Roboto”? complete lyrics deleted - E. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/124 "2003-06-29T17:42:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by guy\_from\_wpa \* > \*\*Just A Friend, Biz Markie > > Don’t even look for it, don’t think about it. If you never listen to anyone else’s advice for the rest of your life, just don’t! \*\* It that the one that goes: _You, you got what I need But you say he’s just a friend, you say he’s just a friend._ Or something like that? If so, the song almost seems intended as a joke. I smiled the first time, but the smile _quickly_ disappears. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/125 "2003-06-29T21:50:23Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **maddiesilver**. You might want to read the sticky threads at the top of each forum. For example, the following is from the Café Society sticky. > [@](#): > > [\*Originally posted by Eutychus \*](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=187235) > Since we too often have to edit posts containing the complete lyrics to a song, let me restate our policy on posting complete lyrics. > > The policy is : don’t do it. > > It is okay to post a small snippet of the lyrics and include a link to another site which contains the complete text. But posting complete lyrics verbatim puts us in danger of violating copyright laws. > > Thanks for your co-operation. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/126 "2003-06-29T22:54:48Z")
**Two moderator notes** 1 : **maddiesilver** , please do not reprint the entire lyrics of a song. It is a copyright violation which is against our rules. 2 : **Jeff Olsen** , I’ll do the moderating here, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/127 "2003-06-29T23:02:03Z")
How could I forget _ **Under Heavy Manners** _ by Robert Fripp/David Byrne: [www.urizel.com/manners.html+solipsism+%22robert+fripp%22&hl=en&ie=UTF-8](http://216.239.53.100/search?q=cache:TMdwKE-rUlwJ:%5Burl)]Urggghhhhhhh. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/128 "2003-06-29T23:41:22Z")
I think _Mr. Roboto_ is quite amusing (if not intentionally so) and thus not at all deserving of inclusion. I think the most painful thing I’ve had to listen to is Neil Diamond’s version of _Red, Red Wine_ ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/129 "2003-06-30T17:19:18Z")
Now, **Euty** , no need to be like that. I am a Moderator-in-Waiting, you know. I even have a Staff mug. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/130 "2003-06-30T18:11:11Z")
If Video Game music counts… Sonic adventure 2’s collecting stages are the worst examples of ©rap that I’ve heard. You just can’t ©rap about a bipedal echidna with brass knuckles and an attidude problem running around getting shards of a big-ass emerald that he broke to get it away from a guy who can’t even USE the damnned thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/131 "2003-06-30T18:43:00Z")
My former vote: XANADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! XANADUUUU! Olivia Newton-John is responsible for a number of lyrical crimes, but this is the top of the list. My new vote: _Never Been to Me_ Thanks (?) to this thread, I have heard it for the first time, and I have to say that it has my vote for worst pop song ever released nationally. Things like _Afternoon Delight_ can be excused as hippie idiocy, but there is no excuse for _Never_. And of course, there is always _Muskrat Love_. BTW, I remember the Bob Carlisle song other than _Butterfly Kisses_ that was mentioned earlier, and here you go: _[Christmas Shoes](http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/b/bobcarlisle/christmasshoes.htm)_ > [@](#): > > Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please > It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size > Could you hurry Sir? > Daddy says there’s not much time > You see she’s been sick for quite a while > And I know these shoes will make her smile > And I want it to look beautiful > If Momma meets Jesus tonight Just awful, and it will indeed drop a diabetic at 50 yards. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/132 "2003-06-30T19:40:07Z")
No, no, no people! I’ve got it! **"Tears Are Not Enough"** by Northern Lights, aka **"Dozens of Canadian Artists Attempt Mass Career Suicide–Several Were Successful"** Geddy Lee, whyyyyyyyy??? I’m just glad The Tragically Hip weren’t around in 1985 to participate in this copy-cat, ethiopia-helping, circle jerk. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/133 "2003-06-30T19:50:25Z")
When I was in college I worked at my hometown radio station for a couple of years (KLBA, Albia Iowa 1370 AM. Check it out if you’re driving by. It’s still not very good). I used to get constant requests for this flegm called **Nobody** by someone who just went by _Sylvia_. I hated that record. ---
**Author:** ![rostfrei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rostfrei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rostfrei)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/134 "2003-07-01T02:15:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caricci \* > \*\*Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I can stop this thread right now with… > > “Never Been to Me” by Charlene. \*\* For the longest time, I thought she was complaining about never having been to Maine. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/135 "2003-07-01T03:17:56Z")
I just want to note that if the lyrics for Christmas Shoes posted above are indeed genuine it can not be topped lyrically for the worst song ever. I have a book I treasure devoted to bad poetry and it is reminiscent of bad Victorian sentimental poetry. “If Momma meets Jesus tonight.”, this can’t really be serious. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/136 "2003-07-01T03:19:30Z")
I’ve been lucky in life; I’ve never heard “Never Been to Me,” except that it was a throwaway line when MST3K roasted one of the Hercules movies. There’s something wonderfully ludricrious about hearing that phrase when Herc was flexing his glistening pecs that it had me laughing. Let’s see . . . bad songs . . . someone already mentioned “I am I said” with the immortal line about no one there to listen to the singer bitching “Not even the chair.” (Dave Barry added the chair responding, “Whoa, I been there!”) My favorite is Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana,” for setting the tragic story of Lola the showgirl and her boyfriend Tony to a bright bouncy pseudo-Latin beat. Yes, come down to the Copa, kids, where you can sing and dance, watch Tony bite the big one and see Lola “lost her youth / she lost her Tony / now she LOST / HER / MIND” _At the Copa (Copa) Copacabana! The hottest spot north of–_ **SLAP!** . . . Thanks. I . . . needed that. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/137 "2003-07-01T07:05:44Z")
_Where, oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She’s gone to heaven, so I got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave-a this world_ ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/138 "2003-07-01T07:30:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > **First of all, no one here (myself included) knows the name of the worst song ever recorded, since the really bad ones never became hits.** Ah,. but what of us that have worked in recording 😃 I forget the bands name but they sounded like Heart. She sang like Heart, she owned everything they ever did, admitted to being their bigest fan. The song I recorded for them (but refused to produce) was called “Mystic Man”. Terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/139 "2003-07-01T09:51:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pesch \* > \*\*My favorite is Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana,” for setting the tragic story of Lola the showgirl and her boyfriend Tony to a bright bouncy pseudo-Latin beat. Yes, come down to the Copa, kids, where you can sing and dance, watch Tony bite the big one and see Lola “lost her youth / she lost her Tony / now she LOST / HER / MIND” > > _At the Copa (Copa) Copacabana! The hottest spot north of–_ > > **SLAP!** > > . . . Thanks. I . . . needed that. \*\* I can’t reveal how I know this, but Barry himself detests the song. It was supposed to be a light throwaway track to fill space on the album, and suddenly he found himself being forced to sing it everywhere for twenty-some years. Ya almost feel sorry for the guy. OTOH, it made him a buttload of money, so I suppose there were consolations. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/140 "2003-07-01T10:07:40Z")
This thread is hilarious. Why all the hatred for “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”? That song was brilliant! Or not, but God, that video! The feathered hair! The shorts! I loved it. Anyway… _“I’ll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)”!!!_ I hate that damn song. I was eating in Carl’s Jr. the other day when that filth came blaring through the speakers, rendering me too damn annoyed to eat my cheeseburger in peace. Well it wasn’t blaring, but horrible songs always seem at least 20 million decibals louder than they are. Oh, and I ate my cheeseburger just fine too, but still. That song’s so awful. That cheesy chorus makes me want to stab myself, whoever wrote that song and those bastards who sing it. Seriously, “I’ll never get over you getting over me”? The heck? Who told them that line was clever and/or touching? Worst song _ever_ recorded in the history of the world. Or at least the most annoying. Sorry for all the babbling, but no song has ever annoyed me as much as that one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=8)