# Worst song ever recored **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177 "2003-06-25T00:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/141 "2003-07-01T11:23:38Z")
I humbly submit that “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie is worse than “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. Partly that’s because of the horribly sentimental video with the blind girl, but also because it’s even slower and mushier. (What exactly happened to Motown in the 1980s?) Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” must qualify on overall length, even though moment for moment it’s no worse than e.g. “Love Shine A Light” by Katrina and the Waves, “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins, “Earth Song” by Michael Jackson, “Saturday Night” by Wigfield, Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls”, or anything by King Crimson. Worst recording I’ve ever heard by a reputable artist is Bonnie Prince Billy’s cover of AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. Although the Flying Pickets’ a capella cover version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” probably beats it for worst cover ever. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/142 "2003-07-01T12:09:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by refusal \* > \*\*I humbly submit that “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie is worse than “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. \*\* I’ll agree with that! In 1985, we had to sing a medley of Lionel Ritchie songs in the high school chorus. Of course, “Hello” was in the mix. Oh. My. God. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/143 "2003-07-01T12:14:19Z")
A lot of songs mentioned so far aren’t really dreadful songs. They are OK songs with dreadful renditions. I think to win this poll it must be a song that abso-friggin’-lutely NOBODY could salvage no matter how well arranged or how well sung. With that I leave you with “The Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love” You might wake up some mornin’ To the sound of something moving past your window in the wind And if you’re quick enough to rise You’ll catch a fleeting glimpse of someone’s fading shadow Out on the new horizon You may see the floating motion of a distant pair of wings And if the sleep has left your ears You might hear footsteps running through an open meadow Don’t be concerned, it will not harm you It’s only me pursuing somethin’ I’m not sure of Across my dreams with nets of wonder I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love ---
**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/144 "2003-07-01T14:11:12Z")
Since we’re shatting on Shatner, how about Leonard Nimoy’s “Bilbo Baggins”? It’s hilariously awful. The worst song by a real singer/group? “Girlfriend is a Centerfold” I don’t need a Madonna/whore complex sung at me, thank you very much! ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/145 "2003-07-01T14:43:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by IcicleFuzz \* > \*\*_My Pal Foot Foot_ by [The Shaggs](http://www.shaggs.com/), anyone? Not just crap music, but geniunely pain-inducing noise. People need to really put some effort into sounding this bad. \*\* I love this song and find it oddly touching. As for the worst songs ever recorded, the Church of Scientology once released an album of L. Ron Hubbard’s compositions sung by famous Scientologists. Surprisingly, it sounds _even worse_ than you would expect. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/146 "2003-07-01T15:18:54Z")
Hey, **refusal** , “Fat Bottomed Girls” is good! But yeah, “Hello” is definitely up there with the wholly awful. I would also submit the Dixie Chicks’ cover of “Landslide”. I take no issue with their political beliefs, but covering Fleetwood Mac while sounding like a trio of bleating sheep is just WRONG. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/147 "2003-07-02T02:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AmericanMaid \* > \*\*Since we’re shatting on Shatner, how about Leonard Nimoy’s “Bilbo Baggins”? It’s hilariously awful. > > The worst song by a real singer/group? “Girlfriend is a Centerfold” I don’t need a Madonna/whore complex sung at me, thank you very much! \*\* You mean “Angel is the Centerfold” by the J. Geils Band? ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/148 "2003-07-02T03:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fruitbat \* > \*\*I just want to note that if the lyrics for Christmas Shoes posted above are indeed genuine it can not be topped lyrically for the worst song ever. I have a book I treasure devoted to bad poetry and it is reminiscent of bad Victorian sentimental poetry. “If Momma meets Jesus tonight.”, this can’t really be serious. \*\* Indeed accurate and indeed serious. Bob Carlisle specializes in this sort of rhythmic glurge. The link in my post above has more of his brand of sap. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/149 "2003-07-02T03:58:06Z")
“In The Year 2525” is unquestionably the worst song ever recorded. The thread may now be closed., as the question is answered. ---
**Author:** ![Adelita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Adelita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adelita)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/150 "2003-07-02T06:00:59Z")
Rick Astley “Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down” Whatever. He had the WORST voice ever and was this scrawny puny little guy. Ugh! * * * Also, that 9 to 5 song “my baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 till 5 and then he takes another home again to find me waiting for him” OH yeh, I hated that Carribean Queen song, too! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/151 "2003-07-02T11:58:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, that 9 to 5 song “my baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 till 5 and then he takes another home again to find me waiting for him” Or as my father-in-law used to put it: “My husband goes to work. I don’t. He comes home. I’m still there.” Sorry, couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/152 "2003-07-02T21:49:15Z")
Oh damn. I forgot all about “In the year 2525.” Yeah, that’s definitely one of the worst. Personally _I_ like **Rocky Raccoon**. ---
**Author:** ![cedric45](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d07c76/32.png) [@cedric45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cedric45)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/153 "2003-07-03T15:19:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > **"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston is the most abominable collection of noises I’ve personally heard. I swear that the sound of kittens being squashed by enormous trucks carrying crack-addled baboons scratching chalkboards with their unmanicured fingers is subliminally mixed into the recording somewhere.** Amen. Ditto. Excuse me while I go throw up… I can’t even look at a picture of her or hear her or even hear OF her without thinking of this song. Ipecac syrup doesn’t work this well or this fast. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/154 "2003-07-03T16:07:55Z")
I always thought Whitney’s version of that song would make a great car alarm. Or at least, part of the chorus. Somebody tries to break in: \*\*And Iiiieeeeiiiiieeeeeiiiiieeeeiiiiiieeeeeiiiiieeeeeiiiiiieeeeiiiii… I know I’d claw my ears off. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/155 "2003-07-03T17:01:03Z")
My further nomination: I’m not sure of the name but: “Ev-reee Shalalala, Ev-ree Woo-ah-wooo Ev-reee ting-a-ling-a-ling that they started to siiinng” 70’s dreck at its worst. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/156 "2003-07-03T17:33:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Miskatonic \* > \*\*My further nomination: I’m not sure of the name but: > > “Ev-reee Shalalala, Ev-ree Woo-ah-wooo > Ev-reee ting-a-ling-a-ling that they started to siiinng” > > 70’s dreck at its worst. \*\* “Yesterday Once More” by The Carpenters. Very 70’s, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/157 "2003-07-07T06:19:54Z")
So many excellent choices, so many immediate terrible reactions to songs varying from weak to poor to pathetic (and amazingly no mention of Barry Manilow, who for Copa Cabana alone deserves his own circle of hell). However, there is one out there who is a living audio torture chamber, who makes Jay Z look like William Shakespeare, who not only inhabits a different reality than the rest of us, but blasts it out with horrific frequency and seeming unending misery for all within earshot: Wesley Willis Do a search, he’s everywhere but you can start here: [http://www.141empire.com/141prime/WESLEY\_%20TOP10.htm](http://www.141empire.com/141prime/WESLEY_%20TOP10.htm) [http://www.azlyrics.com/w/willis.html](http://www.azlyrics.com/w/willis.html) [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000000FAL/qid=/sr=/ref=cm\_lm\_asin/103-4850902-4283816?v=glance](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000000FAL/qid=/sr=/ref=cm_lm_asin/103-4850902-4283816?v=glance) This man is so bad he’s scary. ddgryphon ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/158 "2003-07-07T07:18:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*“In The Year 2525” is unquestionably the worst song ever recorded. The thread may now be closed., as the question is answered. \*\* That’s the one that goes like _In the year 9595, You’ll lose your teeth, not your eyes, 'cause every man will be circumsized!_ Right? :barf: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/159 "2003-07-07T09:36:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ddgryphon \* > \*\*So many excellent choices, so many immediate terrible reactions to songs varying from weak to poor to pathetic (and amazingly no mention of Barry Manilow, who for Copa Cabana alone deserves his own circle of hell). \*\* [sub]Pssst…read page three…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![S\_Puppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@S\_Puppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/S_Puppy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177/160 "2003-07-07T14:08:50Z")
**My Pal Foot Foot by The Shaggs** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Already in Use \* > \*\*I love this song and find it oddly touching. \*\* I enjoy the song, but it is bad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-ever-recored/184177.md?page=9)