# Worst song lyrics... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 20, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778 "2005-01-20T20:33:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chaparralv8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@chaparralv8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaparralv8)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/1 "2005-01-20T20:33:27Z")
Ok, I was just listening to Back in the USSR by the Beatles and heard these lyrics. “Flew in from Miami Beach B-O-A-C Didn’t get to sleep last night On the way the paper bag was on my knees Man I had a dreadful flight” Can anyone top these? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/2 "2005-01-20T21:03:25Z")
Easily: - Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again Oh, no!\* from _MacArthur Park_, lyrics by Jimmy Webb ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/3 "2005-01-20T21:20:25Z")
The worst ever: _Then there was the time you drove that little car Down Sunset Boulevard At three in the morning Doing 90 miles an hour In a 30-mile zone And blamed me when you got that ticket._ From “Rosecrans Boulevard” by Jimmy Webb. Yup, the same guy who did **Macarthur Park** , which is poetry compared to this. At least that rhymed. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/4 "2005-01-20T21:25:23Z")
You know, I just looked up the [full lyrics](http://www.itshappening.com/showpost.php?p=405105&postcount=16) on the Internet, and they’re even worse. ---
**Author:** ![Lillith\_Fair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lillith\_Fair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lillith_Fair)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/5 "2005-01-20T21:47:16Z")
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord. Then it repeated. Sung by John Tesh who I guess is now singing Christian praise music. At least I think that’s what it was. ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/6 "2005-01-20T21:53:21Z")
Honestly I can’t decide if these are crap or brilliant. \*I’ve been over to your house And you’ve been over to mine I’ve slept in your tree house My middle name is Earl \* ~Tom Petty, “A Mind With a Heart of Its Own” He rhymes _house_ with _house_ and finishes the verse off with _Earl_! WTF? On the other hand, it’s just nonsensical enough that I’ve never forgotten the verse or the song. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/7 "2005-01-20T23:05:41Z")
_Float like the heavens above…looks like MUSKRAT LOOOO-OOO-OOO-OVE!_ And from the same piece of musical vomit: _Nibblin’ on bacon Chewin’ on cheese Sam says to Suzie Honey, would you please be my Mrs Suzie says, yes, with her kisses Now, he’s ticklin’ her fancy Rubbin’ her toes Muzzle to muzzle Now anything goes_ Captain and Tennile should have gone down with that ship, in my opinion ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/8 "2005-01-20T23:13:01Z")
> [@chaparralv8](#): > > On the way the paper bag was on my knees That would be “paperback.” ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/9 "2005-01-20T23:16:25Z")
No, I guess it’s paper bag. 35 years I’ve lived with this mondegreen. You’re right; it’s dreadful. Thanks for ruining it for me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/10 "2005-01-20T23:17:02Z")
I didn’t want to have to do this, but… _Spring was never waiting for us, girl It ran one step ahead As we followed in the dance Between the parted pages and were pressed In love’s hot, fevered iron Like a striped pair of pants_ also from _MacArthur Park_, lyrics by Jimmy Webb. [sub]Did he write this song after a bad breakup with a Home Ec teacher or something?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/11 "2005-01-20T23:19:06Z")
George Harrison (I Got My Mind Set on You): \*I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you I got my mind set on you But it’s gonna take money A whole lot of spending money It’s gonna take plenty of money To do it right child\* Duran Duran (Looking for (Cracks in the Pavement)): _Tonight of all nights When I should be feeling just right Don’t want to be in public My head is full of chopstick I don’t like it_ Chopstick?? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/12 "2005-01-20T23:30:07Z")
\*Lovin’ You-Minnie Riperton Lovin’ you I see your soul come shinin’ through And every time that we oooooh I’m more in love with you La la la la la la la… do do do do do\* Between squealing like a rabid badger is in her panties and the saccharine sweet lyrics, I give this one a barfy smiley. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/13 "2005-01-20T23:30:51Z")
Eagle-Eye Cherry’s[[www.lyricsbox.com/eagle-eye-cherry-lyrics-when-mermaids-cry-db7897r.html+mermaids+cry+eagle+eye+cherry&hl=en](http://www.lyricsbox.com/eagle-eye-cherry-lyrics-when-mermaids-cry-db7897r.html+mermaids+cry+eagle+eye+cherry&hl=en)]]([http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:a8kwKg0WtykJ:](http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:a8kwKg0WtykJ:)[url) “When Mermaids Cry” _Seagulls fly When mermaids cry Those tears won’t dry For Lorelei_ Such a horrible song lyrically. I’m cringing without even hearing it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/14 "2005-01-20T23:57:02Z")
Using asbestos gloves to throw thread over the fence into Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/15 "2005-01-20T23:57:35Z")
From the one and only **Lene Lovich** : \*Like Joan of Arc You must be brave And listen to your heart Imagination is essential To creative art\* ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/16 "2005-01-21T00:15:27Z")
Champagne Supernova by Oasis: _Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball_ In fact, the majority of their songs have shit lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/17 "2005-01-21T00:20:11Z")
Until you’ve been beside a man You don’t know who he knows.—Blame it on Midnight by Bob Seager. And no one heard at all Not even the chair.----I am, I said by Neil Diamond. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/18 "2005-01-21T00:25:01Z")
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro You look it up. Note: In “Back in the USSR”, it’s “paper bag” in reference to a barf bag. He had a dreadful flight, you see. “Got My Mind Set on You” was not written by George Harrison. That “honor” goes to Rudy Clark who wrote in 1962. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/19 "2005-01-21T00:40:48Z")
_I’m ready - to love you I’m ready - to hold you I’m ready - I’m ready_ From the **Brian Adams** song “I’m Ready” (duh) I have the horrifying memory of the day a live version of this song was playing at my local video store. It was soooo overwraught; he was soooo “reaaaadyyyyyy”… “don’t you know girl, I’m reaaaaaady”… “I’m telling you I’m reaaaadyyyyy”. Gawd it was awful. I seriously started walking around the store with my fingers in my ears going “la la la”… and the people there looked at me like _I_ was the crazy one. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/20 "2005-01-21T00:42:26Z")
There are just too many to choose from. But my most recent favorite of horrible lyrics is: \*Girl you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel (hun) Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby (tell 'em) \* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778.md?page=2)