# Worst song lyrics... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 20, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778 "2005-01-20T20:33:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/81 "2005-01-22T01:51:03Z")
**Toto - Africa** The chorus _I bless the rains down in Africa_ 😕 What the hell does that mean? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/82 "2005-01-22T02:25:55Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **The Chao Goes Mu** , “Angel of the Morning” was Juice Newton. (And um, actually, I kinda like that song). Actually, _Angel of the Morning_ , my favorite heartbreak song of all time, was written by Chip taylor and first recorded by Merilee Rush. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/83 "2005-01-22T04:44:27Z")
> [@tpayne](#): > > Andy Devine > Had a thong rind > It was sublime > But the wrong kind Frank Zappa. Never heard the song itself, but I remember the reference from _The Real Frank Zappa Book_. ---
**Author:** ![Zonyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a183cd/32.png) [@Zonyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zonyx)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/84 "2005-01-22T14:36:08Z")
Two words. “Hey Mickey” ---
**Author:** ![threeorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@threeorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threeorange)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/85 "2005-01-22T16:36:52Z")
Last year’s hit song **Are You Gonna Be My Girl** by the Australian band **Jet** contains the most horrific line I know of: _Four, five, six C’mon and get your kicks_ **Lenny Kravitz** ’s _I wanna see the stars The Milky Way, and even Mars_ from **I Want to Fly** isn’t far behind. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/86 "2005-01-22T16:38:17Z")
> [@Zonyx](#): > > Two words. “Hey Mickey” Yeah, but he’s so fine! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/87 "2005-01-22T18:04:05Z")
Oooh, what about “Wannabe”, from the Spice Girls? Especially this line: _If you Wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends_ So basically, if he wants to sleep with you, he has to sleep with your friends first? Not to mention totally missing the context of the word “wannabe”, which isn’t about wanting something, it’s about wanting to be something you’re not, and trying to do so and failing comically. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/88 "2005-01-22T18:20:14Z")
I think we should institute a rule that says if you’re going to start a “worst song lyrics” thread, you have to link to all the other “worst song lyrics” threads going back at least six months, because there are at least two dozen songs that get mentioned every time. I see we’ve not yet had the argument over whether Paul said “ever-changing world in which we live in” or “in which we’re livin’;” I think he’s an awful lyricist but couldn’t possibly be that stupid, so I opt for the latter. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/89 "2005-01-22T18:20:58Z")
I never got those “blank with no name” lyrics. How hard would it have been to name that horse? What about “spot” or “Old Paint” or “lightning.” And why couldn’t U2 have named those streets? I know its supposed to evoke a sense of the mystical but it always struck me as silly. And while I’m on U2: Bono, when I’m trying to find what I’m looking for, I usually don’t “climb the highest mountains,” or “speak with the tongues of Angels” (a little presumptuous, dontch ya think). Instead I look under my couch. You’d be surprised what turns up there! Also I like the lyrics to “Back in the USSR.” They’re silly, but fun. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/90 "2005-01-22T18:26:40Z")
> [@Larry Borgia](#): > > Also I like the lyrics to “Back in the USSR.” They’re silly, but fun. Agreed. They’re a great send-up, and how can you not love somebody “those Ukraine girls really knock me out, and you know that Georgia’s always on my mind?” It’s possibly the only song in English that refers to the OTHER Georgia! 🙂 Badge is one of my favorite songs as well, and I happen to like the lyrics. I’ve heard that the swans line was the work of none other than Ringo Starr, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/91 "2005-01-22T19:11:51Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > People, people, are we forgetting about “One Tin Soldier”? We’re _trying_ to. My personal emetic: > [@](#): > > Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. > In fact, it’s cold as hell. > And there’s no one there to raise them, if you did. > > - Rocket Man, by Elton John - lyrics by Bernie Taupin Did what? Raise them? Why do you need anyone else if you do it yourself? And who ever suggested raising kids on Mars? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/92 "2005-01-22T20:24:56Z")
Nobody mentioned Train’s “Drops of Jupiter” yet? For shame: Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me WTF? ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/93 "2005-01-22T20:41:17Z")
John Lennon’s song **God** , from John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band: _I just believe in me Yoko and me And that’s reality_ Just try and sing that without laughing! ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/94 "2005-01-22T20:50:37Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > Isn’t it a “kiss from a rose on the GRAVE?” I got the lyrics from a google search. Its been pointed out to me here by **rekkah** you’re right. I stand corrected. I still thought it was brain rather than grave though. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/95 "2005-01-22T21:31:58Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Frank Zappa. Never heard the song itself, but I remember the reference from _The Real Frank Zappa Book_. 5 points. That took longer than I thought it would! The song is **Andy** , from _One Size Fits All_. Actually a terrific album, in spite of the goofy lyrics. Sorry Biffy… this one was just low-hanging fruit for you. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/96 "2005-01-22T21:54:39Z")
Ob-la-di Ob-la-da life goes on bra la-la how the life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/97 "2005-01-22T23:11:45Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > I got the lyrics from a google search. Its been pointed out to me here by > **rekkah** you’re right. I stand corrected. I still thought it was brain rather than grave though. Nope, it is actually “kiss of a rose on the grey.” I thought it was “grave” for the longest time. This isn’t official, but see [here](http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=18392). ---
**Author:** ![baileygrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@baileygrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baileygrrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/98 "2005-01-23T00:20:30Z")
LL Cool J - Goin back to cali: I’m going back to Cali, rising, surprising Advising realizing, she’s sizing me up Her bikini - small; heels - tall She said, she liked, the ocean **She showed me a beach, gave me a peach** and pulled out the suntan lotion Now I thought that was fast, but this girl was faster She’s lookin for a real good time I said, “Close your eyes, I got a surprise,” and I ran away with the bottle of wine Blech ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/99 "2005-01-23T00:53:41Z")
> [@Legolamb (and paulbeserker)](#): > > _I don’t wanna see a ghost > It’s the sight that I fear most > I’d rather have a piece of toast > Watch the evening news_ I have to dash and head to a party so forgive me if anyone else has added more lyrics from this song: _I’m a superstitious girl I’m the worst in the world Never walk under ladders I carry a rabbit’s **tail** _ Worst in the world, indeed. Never heard of a ‘lucky rabbit’s _tail_’. Foot, perhaps? Someone actually argued with me once that this song doesn’t actually suck, it just doesn’t make sense because ‘the writer is a poet’. Where’s that /barf smiley? I’ll have to settle for :rolleyes: … but it really doesn’t go far enough. I think this song is _‘the worst in the world’_, aside from the previously mentioned ‘Good Morning Starshine’, which should be carved in stone and inserted back into the writer, rectally. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778/100 "2005-01-23T01:48:17Z")
> [@baileygrrrl](#): > > LL Cool J - Goin back to cali: > > I’m going back to Cali, rising, surprising > Advising realizing, she’s sizing me up > Her bikini - small; heels - tall > She said, she liked, the ocean > **She showed me a beach, gave me a peach** and pulled out the suntan lotion > Now I thought that was fast, but this girl was faster > She’s lookin for a real good time > I said, “Close your eyes, I got a surprise,” > and I ran away with the bottle of wine > > Blech Hey! I think that whole section is pretty funny and tongue-in-cheek. But anyhow, I see you people take your lyrics way too seriously 😉 The one that drives me nuts, though, and it may have been mentioned, is the “Proud to Be American” line that goes: And I’m proud to be an American where **at least** I know I’m free. Sounds like freedom’s a consolation prize more than anything else with that line. Frankly, while we’re at it, Hearts “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” has always driven me batty: “So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note I told him I am the flower you are the seed We walked in the garden we planted a tree Don’t try to find me, please don’t you dare Just live in my memory, you’ll always be there” Can we fit any more hackneyed rhymes and cliches into a verse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/285778.md?page=6)