# Worst Song Lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 11, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739 "2007-05-11T19:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/1 "2007-05-11T19:45:32Z")
A [poll](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/6633489.stm) done for the BBC6 Music’s Marc Riley Show picked the ten worst verses in pop songs. Naturally, because it was the BBC, the winners were overwhelmingly British. And no rap. Can we do better? Er, worser? > [@](#): > > Top 10 Worst Pop Lyrics > > 1 DES’REE - LIFE > I don’t want to see a ghost > It’s the sight that I fear most > I’d rather have a piece of toast > Watch the evening news > 2 SNAP - RHYTHM IS A DANCER > I’m as serious as cancer > When I say rhythm is a dancer > 3 RAZORLIGHT - SOMEWHERE ELSE > And I met a girl > She asked me my name > I told her what it was > 4 ABC - THAT WAS THEN BUT THIS IS NOW > More sacrifices than an Aztec priest > Standing here straining at that leash > All fall down > Can’t complain, mustn’t grumble > Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble > 5 U2 - ELEVATION > I’ve got no self control > Been living like a mole now > Going down, excavation > High and high in the sky > You make me feel like I can fly > So high > Elevation > 6 TOTO - AFRICA > The wild dogs cry out in the night > As they grow restless longing for some solitary company > I know that I must do what’s right > Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti > 7 OASIS - CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA > Slowly walking down the hall > Faster than a cannonball > Where were you when we were getting high? > 8 DURAN DURAN - IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW? > And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door > Don’t say you’re easy on me you’re about as easy as a nuclear war > 9 HUMAN LEAGUE - THE LEBANON > Before he leaves the camp he stops > He scans the world outside > And where there used to be some shops > Is where the snipers sometimes hide > 10 BLACK SABBATH - WAR PIGS > Generals gathered in their masses > Just like witches at black masses ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/2 "2007-05-11T20:08:24Z")
I want to know why I’m seeing an ad in this thread that says “DEMOCRATS SUCK, they take our money and our values.” These days I think “Hollaback Girl” has the stupidest lyrics ever written. I don’t know if there’s a single verse that stands out, though, it’s an overall thing. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/3 "2007-05-11T20:36:49Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] “DEMOCRATS SUCK, they take our money and our values.” [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s a _really_ stupid lyric. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/4 "2007-05-11T20:40:17Z")
Ahem: > [@](#): > > My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, > My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. > My lovely lady lumps (lumps) > My lovely lady lumps (lumps) > My lovely lady lumps (lumps) > In the back and in the front (lumps) ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/5 "2007-05-11T20:41:27Z")
The “War Pigs” masses-masses rhyme really bothers me too for some reason. But “Champagne Supernova” is a classic! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/6 "2007-05-11T20:46:23Z")
Two words: [Muskrat Love](http://tinyurl.com/2kx8m8). ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/7 "2007-05-11T20:52:14Z")
There’s also **Paul McCartney** ’s song _Let 'Em In_ whose lyrics are so incredibly banal, a comedian once suggested he wrote it on a dare to prove he could put catchy music and make a hit single out of _anything at all_: _Someone’s knockin’ at the door Somebody’s ringing the bell Do me a favor, open the door And let 'em in_ Are pretty much the entire song’s lyrics, repeated in refrains, with a list of guests’ names inserted at one or two points. (Seriously!) And unfortunately, it _is_ kind of catchy, so I occasionally have this song come up on my “mental jukebox” even though I haven’t heard it in years. Arrgh! ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/8 "2007-05-11T20:53:27Z")
Point of order - are lyrics from the Eurovison Song Contest allowed? ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/9 "2007-05-11T21:07:40Z")
I can remember a lot of stupid lyrics from my teens, once a Whitesnake fan and all, but come to think of it, lines like “all you girls better lift up you skirts and run, cause I aim to shoot my pistol and fire like a gatling gun”, still makes me smile (reluctantly of course), and so I find that I really can’t recall the really bad lyrics I’ve heard over the years, thank god, only the rock dumb. I would say though that Sheryl Crow aint no genius. And while being thankful to you, Exapno Mapcase, for posting the top ten, much amusing and lol, I feel that 7 to 10 aint that bad (within its context etc) and as such a bit disappointing read. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/10 "2007-05-11T21:11:02Z")
As sung by Geddy Lee: _“Tried to understand the white man’s fears Make 'em bend but they wouldn’t yield Uncle Sam’s time is only a greased wheel Feel the way I feel Bust the busters, screw the feeders Make the healers Feel the way I feel…”_ Max Webster and Rush - Battlescar (lyrics by Pye Dubois) These lyrics support the theory that some words just sound good when strung together, and sung convincingly, but they don’t mean anything. Because that verse is just mindless drivel. Isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Zambini57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4491bb/32.png) [@Zambini57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zambini57)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/11 "2007-05-11T21:16:16Z")
“So they headed down to-oo-oo El Paso, I swear they got into a big hassle, Billy Joe shot a man while robbin’ his castle Bobbie Sue took the money and run” (Hoo hoo hoo) “Billy Mack was detective down in Texas You know he knows exactly what the facts is He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice He makes his livin’ off other people’s taxes” Crappiest lyrics I ever heard. (Hoo hoo hoo) ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/12 "2007-05-11T21:19:08Z")
I already posted this once in a similar thread, but I’ll do it again: _I understand you’ve been running from the man that goes by the name of the sandman He flieses the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that’s abandoned_ America - “Sandman” Only slightly edges out their debut hit, “Horse with No Name:” \*I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain In the desert you can remember your name 'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain La, la … \* **Gaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!** And I second “Let E’m In,” although I don’t find it at all catchy. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/13 "2007-05-11T21:52:29Z")
Check it out now: > [@](#): > > _originally posted bt Fatboy Slim:_ > Right about now: the Funk Soul Brother > Check it out now: the Funk Soul Brother > Right about now: the Funk Soul Broither > Check it out now: the Funk Soul Brother ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/14 "2007-05-11T22:11:20Z")
No one’s mentioned, “Every day a little sadder, A little madder, Someone get me a ladder?” \*Still, you turn me on \* by Emerson, Lake and Palmer ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/15 "2007-05-11T22:20:54Z")
I did it all for the nookie The nookie So you can take that cookie And stick it up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/16 "2007-05-11T22:33:39Z")
Years ago, Dave Barry asked readers to send him their votes for horrible songs and the resulting torrent seems to have surprised even him, both in volume of mail received and vitriol expressed. Here’s a book. Audio book, no less! > **[Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs: Barry, Dave: 9780836214437: Amazon.com: Books](https://www.amazon.com/Dave-Barrys-Book-Bad-Songs/dp/0836214439)** > > Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs \[Barry, Dave\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/17 "2007-05-12T00:08:07Z")
Oh I definitely agree with the choice of Toto’s tongue-twisting: Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti One of my favorites that I **always** post to similar threads is **Mark Dinning’s “Teen Angel”** (yes about a dead teenager. Songs such as this were really popular in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s) [Teen Angel](http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Lyrics/Teen-Angel.html) last verse Just sweet sixteen, and now you’re gone They’ve taken you away. I’ll never kiss your lips again _They buried you today_ Supposedly, that was written for comic effect but I prefer to think that they were dead-on serious with that song. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/18 "2007-05-12T00:25:47Z")
[QUOTE=Zambini57] “Billy Mack was detective down in Texas You know he knows exactly what the facts is He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice He makes his livin’ off other people’s taxes” [/QUOTE] I never minded this verse, even though it’s frequently cited as an example of bad lyrics, presumably because people think Miller unsuccessfully tried to rhyme “Facts is” with “Texas.” But that’s not the case - “facts is” is supposed to rhyme with “Taxes,” and “Texas” and “Justice” don’t need to rhyme with each other because the last word still completes a rhyming couplet, albeit an unconventional one. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/19 "2007-05-12T00:34:18Z")
I always thought that verse was okay because it’s stupid-funny. [QUOTE=Argent Towers] But that’s not the case - “facts is” is supposed to rhyme with “Taxes,” and “Texas” and “Justice” don’t need to rhyme with each other because the last word still completes a rhyming couplet, albeit an unconventional one. [/QUOTE] The problem with that theory is that the other verses have a rhyming triplet. There’s a rhyme in this verse, but it seems jarring. Verse 1: “Sue” rhymes with “do,” “tube” and "loose Verse 2: “El Paso,” “hassle” “castle” So in verse 3, you expect “Texas” to rhyme with “facts is” and “justice.” My feeling is that Miller couldn’t make it rhyme and made a joke out of it. It’s a pretty good one. And verse 4 has “away” “day” “hey” “away” and “today” ---
**Author:** ![Zambini57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4491bb/32.png) [@Zambini57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zambini57)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/20 "2007-05-12T00:52:57Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] I never minded this verse, even though it’s frequently cited as an example of bad lyrics, presumably because people think Miller unsuccessfully tried to rhyme “Facts is” with “Texas.” But that’s not the case - “facts is” is supposed to rhyme with “Taxes,” and “Texas” and “Justice” don’t need to rhyme with each other because the last word still completes a rhyming couplet, albeit an unconventional one. [/QUOTE] To me, it’s bad because it seems like a non sequitur. 1. He’s a detective. 2. He’s from Texas 3. He 's going to catch the crooks. 4.His paycheck is provided by the taxpayers. It just seems irrelevant to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739.md?page=2)