# Worst Song Lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 11, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739 "2007-05-11T19:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/41 "2007-05-12T13:43:51Z")
This is a topic close to my heart. A friend of mine hosted a radio show at the local college some years back and I’d occasionally come on and we’d do a “worst of the 80’s” segment. Lots of material. A personal favorite would be [_I Wanna Be a Cowboy_](http://lirama.net/song/14780) by Boys Don’t Cry > [@](#): > > I’ve got my saddle > On my horse. > He’s called…T-t-t-t-t-trigger > Of course. > > I wanna be a cowboy > and you can be my cowgirl And no list is complete without La Toya Jackson. _Hot Potato_ actually managed to get to #43 on the billboard pop chart. Includes the immortal words: > [@](#): > > Let the doorknob hit ya where the dog should have bit ya ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/42 "2007-05-12T13:49:28Z")
“Where do I begin? To tell a story of how great a love could be? A great love story that is older than the sea…” AAAARrrrrrgggghh! Get it out of my head! ---
**Author:** ![PerditaX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@PerditaX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PerditaX)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/43 "2007-05-12T15:08:56Z")
[QUOTE=Zambini57] Billy Joe shot a man while robbin’ his castle [/QUOTE] MONDEGREEN ALERT!! For 20+ years I was sure Billy Joe was robbin’ his “Gasso” - in other words, killed the clerk while holding up a gas-station convenience store. That still makes more sense to me than “castle.” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/44 "2007-05-12T15:39:38Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] And the bridge of the song: > [@](#): > > Ah, matter, want jet to always love me? > > Ah, matter, want jet to always love me? > > Ah, matter, much later. [/QUOTE] It’s **mater** , not “matter.” And “Jet” should be capitalized since it’s being used as a name. Makes a lot more sense that way. (Well, maybe not a _lot_ more…) [QUOTE=kaylasdad99] And Messrs Fagan and Beckwith favored us with > [@](#): > > They got a name for the winners in the world; > I want a name when I lose. > They call Alabama the Crimson Tide; > Call me Deacon Blues. [misquote fixed–BtES] [/quote] Oh, come on, that’s a _great_ lyric. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/45 "2007-05-12T17:24:54Z")
[QUOTE=lorene] Wham: _Guilty feet have got no rhythm_ [/QUOTE] I can’t believe that I’m defending George Michael here, but that line makes sense. He’s cheated on his girlfriend (well, probably boyfriend), and this guilt means he can’t dance: the theme of the song, that he’s never going to dance again. I don’t really see what’s wrong with it. ‘Africa’ wins for me, hands down. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/46 "2007-05-12T17:42:38Z")
It’s kind of ironic that no one has mentioned Alanis Morrissette yet, don’tcha think? > [@](#): > > It’s like rai-ee-yain > On your wedding day > It’s a free ri-eee-yi-yide > When you’ve already paid > It’s the good advice > That you just didn’t take > And who would’ve thought? It figures… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/47 "2007-05-12T17:50:22Z")
> [@](#): > > 9 HUMAN LEAGUE - THE LEBANON > Before he leaves the camp he stops > He scans the world outside > And where there used to be some shops > Is where the snipers sometimes hide Why are these lyrics stupid? They seem fine to me. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/48 "2007-05-12T17:54:35Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] I can’t believe that I’m defending George Michael here, but that line makes sense. He’s cheated on his girlfriend (well, probably boyfriend), and this guilt means he can’t dance: the theme of the song, that he’s never going to dance again. I don’t really see what’s wrong with it. [/QUOTE] Well, sure, that’s just my opinion. There’s never going to be any definitive answers here because these are all just opinions. Anyhow, I know the line makes sense, but I think it’s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/49 "2007-05-12T18:01:13Z")
Speaking of George Michael, _Last Christmas_ makes no sense: _Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special._ Who did you give my heart to, Honey? Am I supposed to be in love with him now? And why would you give him my heart? Why not your own heart? Were you creeped out by him and just trying to get rid of him? Couldn’t you have just given him a made-up phone number? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/50 "2007-05-12T18:03:47Z")
I’ve always liked the Emerson, Lake & Palmer song “Still… You Turn Me On,” but I have to admit has some fairly egregious lyrical offenses, such as: _Do you wanna be the lover of another undercover You could even be the Man on the moon_ And especially: _Every day a little sadder A little madder Someone get me a LADDER!_ Which I find really (unintentionally?) funny, in part because in my head I always hear Jerry Lewis singing the last line. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/51 "2007-05-12T18:11:53Z")
I think these certainly qualify to be in a thread about bad lyrics: \*Looking back Shorty always mention Said me not giving her much attention She was there through my incarceration I wanna show the nation my appreciation Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby Shorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel Girl, you’re my friend when I’m in need, lady\* ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/52 "2007-05-12T18:23:50Z")
[QUOTE=lorene] Anyhow, I know the line makes sense, but I think it’s stupid. [/QUOTE] Fair enough! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Matt\_Holck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Matt\_Holck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt_Holck)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/53 "2007-05-12T18:34:53Z")
"[Chorus:] This is why I’m Hot [2x] This is why [2x] Uh This is why I’m Hot (Uh) This is why I’m Hot [2x] Whoo This is why [2x] This is why I’m Hot I’m hot cause I’m fly (fly) You ain’t cause you’re not (Mims) This is why [2x] This is why I’m hot [2x]" Mims » This Is Why I’m Hot ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/54 "2007-05-12T20:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Inspired by **ArchiveGuy’s** joke in [this thread,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=420356) we have Paul McCartney’s _Jet:_ Jesus Christ, how does someone write such horrible lyrics? I mean, if someone did a darker and more musically-interesting cover version of this song, the lyrics might be able to sound good on some surreal level, but they don’t fit at all with the instrumentals of the song as it is. [/QUOTE] The lyrics make sense when you know that Jet was the name of macca’s sheepdog. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/55 "2007-05-12T20:24:45Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder] The lyrics make sense when you know that Jet was the name of macca’s sheepdog. [/QUOTE] Who apparently could talk as well as fly, and whose father at times resembled a Sergeant Major and at times a diminutive female suffragette, or at least closely enough to cause Paul confusion. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/56 "2007-05-12T20:35:43Z")
If any list of bad songs doesn’t have MacArthur Park on it somewhere, the list is incomplete. “_Someone left my cake out in the rain_…” (and here is why we _really_ need a “ecch” emoticon. ) ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/57 "2007-05-12T20:41:26Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder] The lyrics make sense when you know that Jet was the name of macca’s sheepdog. [/QUOTE] Did he have another sheepdog? The one he is most associated with is named Martha, as in “…My Dear.” She would still have been living at the time he recorded “Jet,” and I’ve never read anything in any book that says he had a dog named Jet. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/58 "2007-05-12T21:18:31Z")
Excessive repetition often kills a song for me. Anyone remember a song from 30 years or so ago that had these incredible lyrics? _I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night._ and so on? If I remember right, I actually counted how many times that line was repeated (I was in a car in a place without many radio stations and I was bored) and the number was around 58. [QUOTE=Marley23] Verse 1: “Sue” rhymes with “do,” “tube” and "loose [/QUOTE] No. No, it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/59 "2007-05-12T21:34:07Z")
[QUOTE=fishbicycle] Did he have another sheepdog? The one he is most associated with is named Martha, as in “…My Dear.” She would still have been living at the time he recorded “Jet,” and I’ve never read anything in any book that says he had a dog named Jet. [/QUOTE] I’m thinking now it wasn’t a sheepdog, but some other breed. I know I’ve read this other places, but the best site I can find online is [here,](http://www.superseventies.com/mccartney5.html) with the final review on the page (from Rolling Stone) being the most convincing source. Other places have it being named after a horse, but I’ve heard more often that it was his dog. > [@Vinyl Turnip](#): > > Who apparently could talk as well as fly, and whose father at times resembled a Sergeant Major and at times a diminutive female suffragette, or at least closely enough to cause Paul confusion. See? Makes perfect sense! ---
**Author:** ![cookeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@cookeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cookeze)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/60 "2007-05-12T21:39:12Z")
Let’s not skip “Surfin’ Bird” by the Trashmen Don’t you know about the bird? Well everybody’s heard, about the bird ! Bird bird bird, the bird is the word ! Bird bird bird, the bird is the word ! Yeah! (x 1000) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739.md?page=4)