# Worst Song Lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 11, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739 "2007-05-11T19:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/81 "2007-05-14T14:54:00Z")
I think in some cases, lyrics are judged according to context in addition to intrinsic merit. The line Oasis’ _Champagne Supernova_ is actually a nice piece of evocative imagery on its own, but when you have to judge it in the context of Oasis’ boundless arrogance, it’s easy to take the lyrics at face value and denigrate them. I actually love that LaToya Jackson line, but then I have to think, “LaToya. Blech.” And _Love Hurts_ may be pretty stupid on its own, but as of several months ago, when I saw it accompany the image of feckless Bobby Hill struggling through his Deli-induced gout to meet his girlfriend at the dance, it will always have a certain hilarious poignancy for me. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/82 "2007-05-14T14:58:55Z")
There is NO song more reptitive than Grand Funk Railroad’s “I’m Your Captain”… “I’m getting closer to my home” – 24x, in a row!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/83 "2007-05-14T15:02:50Z")
[QUOTE=Biffy the Elephant Shrew] It’s **mater** , not “matter.” And “Jet” should be capitalized since it’s being used as a name. Makes a lot more sense that way. (Well, maybe not a _lot_ more…) Oh, come on, that’s a _great_ lyric. [/QUOTE] So, “Ah, **mater** ” makes sense? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/84 "2007-05-14T15:08:15Z")
Ellen, it’s a play on words. “Ah, mater (mother), want cha to always love me.” It’s not supposed to be deep. As Paul would say, “It’s just a wee songie, innit?” ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/85 "2007-05-14T15:14:12Z")
**Three Dog Night’s “Easy To Be Hard”** : “…And especially people Who care about strangers Who care about evil And social injustice…” I’m sorry–anybody who shoehorns “social injustice” into a song, even if it \*was \*the 60’s, is just trying \*too \*hard. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/86 "2007-05-14T15:22:54Z")
[QUOTE=winterhawk11] I’m sorry–anybody who shoehorns “social injustice” into a song, even if it \*was \*the 60’s, is just trying \*too \*hard. [/QUOTE] That was the fault of Galt McDermot, who wrote that song for the musical “Hair.” And yes, he _was_ trying too hard. _Way_ too hard. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/87 "2007-05-14T16:09:01Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] That is not a rhyme, that is assonance. [/QUOTE] “Don’t ask him what an assy-thingummy is, he’s only longing to be asked.” --C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (sorry) > [@DudleyGarrett](#): > > “I’m getting closer to my home” – 24x, in a row!!! I counted those too! Then I considered shooting myself, or at least avoiding that song for the rest of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/88 "2007-05-14T16:18:16Z")
I’m only writing to thank **Nametag** for posting Bree Sharp’s “David Duchovny.” I haven’t heard that in years. You made my morning, I’m laughing so hard. ETA: Is it after 12 already? Dammit, I mean my afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/89 "2007-05-14T16:56:52Z")
I always thought that **Shakira** had the prize for the worst lyrics… _lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains_ W T F :smack: Si ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/90 "2007-05-14T18:52:50Z")
Stan Bush - [The Touch](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/thetransformers/thetouch.htm) (from the Transformers animated movie) A couple of highlights: _After all is said and done You’ve never walked, you’ve never run, You’re a winner_ … _When all hell’s breakin’ loose You’ll be riding the eye of the storm_ ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/91 "2007-05-14T18:56:51Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] There is NO song more reptitive than Grand Funk Railroad’s “I’m Your Captain”… “I’m getting closer to my home” – 24x, in a row!!! [/QUOTE] Bill Withers - Ain’t No Sunshine > [@Bill Withers](#): > > And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, > I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, > I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, > I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, > I know, I know, I know 26! Beat that! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/92 "2007-05-14T18:58:48Z")
[QUOTE=Nature’s Call] _When all hell’s breakin’ loose You’ll be riding the eye of the storm_ [/QUOTE] I think that’s probably “right in the eye of the storm,” which is cliche but much less stupid. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/93 "2007-05-14T18:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=Nature’s Call] Bill Withers - Ain’t No Sunshine 26! Beat that! [/QUOTE] True… but at least with Withers’ song, he says them really fast. The entire “I know” marathon lasts about 20 seconds. GFR’s last about 4 minutes… Granted, we’re only talking about 3 minutes and 40 seconds, but still… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/94 "2007-05-14T19:34:00Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] I think that’s probably “right in the eye of the storm,” which is cliche but much less stupid. [/QUOTE] You’re probably right, but “You’ve never walked, you’ve never run…” What do winners do, sashay? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/95 "2007-05-14T19:50:01Z")
I’m pretty sure I once counted the “Na’s” in Hey Jude and the “Do-do-do-do-doots” in Suite: Judy Blue Eyes … but I do not remember the total. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/96 "2007-05-14T20:29:33Z")
[QUOTE=Biffy the Elephant Shrew] It’s **mater** , not “matter.” And “Jet” should be capitalized since it’s being used as a name. Makes a lot more sense that way. (Well, maybe not a _lot_ more…) [/QUOTE] And “Mater” is also being used as a form of address, so it should be capped as well. If nothing else, this thoroughly explains the “Ah, Mater” part. The rest of it is still nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/97 "2007-05-14T22:28:07Z")
**The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight** “When darkness turns to light, It ends tonight.” When does it end, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/98 "2007-05-14T22:30:23Z")
[QUOTE=Carnick] The Fray’s How to Save a Life: Rhyming ‘best’ with ‘best’? Genius! [/QUOTE] Hip Hop’s been doing that a lot lately. However, maybe it’s OK if you’re rhyming “Magnum” (a gun) with “Magnum” (a car); I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/99 "2007-05-14T22:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] I always thought that **Shakira** had the prize for the worst lyrics… _lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains_ W T F :smack: Si [/QUOTE] Is that from “Whenever, Wherever”, or a translation from “Suerte”? Because it sounds cool in Spanish. (If it’s from “Suerte”, then I don’t think that “and humble” belongs in there, but mi espanol no es bueno.) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739/100 "2007-05-14T23:24:39Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] It doesn’t? Huh. I thought they all had the same “ooh” vowel sound. Which of those words have I been mispronouncing all these years? 😛 [/QUOTE] Am I being whooshed here, or do you not know what a rhyme is? [QUOTE=DKW] InvisibleWombat - That’d be I Love a Rainy Night by Eddie Rabbit. It’s _kinda_ repetitive, but nowhere near as bad as you seem to imply. (Yes, he does make it clear _why_ he loves rainy nights, thank you very much.) Trust me, there’s a lot worse. Some of it in this thread alone. (“I want to get away, I want to flyyy awaaayyy…” And I like that one!) [/QUOTE] Okay. I went back and listened to the song and counted. He only repeats the phrase “Love a rainy night” a paltry 30 times. You think that’s “kinda” repetitive? The song’s only 3:11 long, and it has an instrumental bridge? He repeats one line _thirty times_? That’s some seriously bad writing there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-song-lyrics/403739.md?page=6)