# Worst songs for a stripper to perform to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074 "2007-07-09T18:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/1 "2007-07-09T18:34:25Z")
The _best_ songs would be easy. I’m sure _ahem_ some of you/us have your/our favorites. But how about the _worst_ for either women or men? I was thinkin’ **Dueling Banjos** from _Deliverance_ might be kinda creepy. And please, Lord, don’t make me watch someone bump and grind all sexylike to **The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald**. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/2 "2007-07-09T18:37:48Z")
Oh, man, **Lieu** , what a concept! Swan Lake Amazing Grace Night on Bald Mountain Star Wars theme Magnificent Seven theme Jaws theme How far out can we get? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/3 "2007-07-09T18:49:58Z")
Well, if it were the Chippendales – I’m not sure I could keep a straight face if they did “Macho Man.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/4 "2007-07-09T18:58:32Z")
Anything by Handel Greensleeves Anything sung by the Muppets ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/5 "2007-07-09T19:00:41Z")
“Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her father . . .” No? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/6 "2007-07-09T19:01:07Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Anything sung by the Muppets [/QUOTE] Especially the Muppets Christmas special with John Denver. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/7 "2007-07-09T19:02:29Z")
What was Arnold Schwarzenegger singing on the plane near the beginning of _Twins_? **Yakkity Yaks**? That’d be a bone killer. Oh, **Jesus Loves Me**. [QUOTE=bouv] Especially the Muppets Christmas special with John Denver. [/QUOTE] Enter… John Tesh. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/8 "2007-07-09T19:04:17Z")
-Go Tell It On The Mountin’ -Kum Bai Yah Anything with Mel Tourme scatting. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/9 "2007-07-09T19:06:37Z")
The Barney theme song. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/10 "2007-07-09T19:07:11Z")
“The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgeeeeeraaaaaallllllld…” boom chika boom chika It might go over well in a gay bar, though. I am now thinking of the Rheostatics’ version. Which them makes me think of their song “Horses”, which would be even worse to strip to. Then there’s the “Canadian Railroad Trilogy”: “There was a time in this fair land When the railroad did not run/ When wild majestic mountains/ Stood alone against the sun…” Hmm. Actually that one has some promise. ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/11 "2007-07-09T19:07:19Z")
Alvin and the Chipmunks is never a good idea. Or Puffy Ami Yumi. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/12 "2007-07-09T19:09:12Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] How far out can we get? [/QUOTE] Heh, you tell me. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/13 "2007-07-09T19:10:29Z")
The _Brave Sir Robin_ song from MPatHG: Bravely bold Sir Robin Rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, Oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid To be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/14 "2007-07-09T19:12:33Z")
I think we should be aiming for a “WTF” surreality, kind of like “Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster”. Is there any song that is proof against double entrendres? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/15 "2007-07-09T19:15:26Z")
The Benny Hill Theme ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/16 "2007-07-09T19:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Anything sung by the Muppets [/QUOTE] “One of these things is not like the other” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/17 "2007-07-09T19:16:16Z")
The Star Spangled Banner The Cat’s in the Cradle Theme music from Family Ties ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/18 "2007-07-09T19:18:26Z")
“Excitable Boy” by Warren Zevon? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/19 "2007-07-09T19:19:16Z")
But oddly the theme from The Facts of Life would be kind of hot. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/20 "2007-07-09T19:19:19Z")
“The William Tell Overture” as played by Walter/Wendy carlos for “A Clockwork Orange” anything by Gyorgy Ligeti from “2001” “They’re coming to take me away, ah ha!” by Napoleon Bonaparte XVI “Funeral March for a Marionette” (Alfred Hitchcock’s theme) The “Electronic Tonalities” from “Forbidden Planet” The stopwatch from “60 Minutes” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074.md?page=2)