# Worst songs for a stripper to perform to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074 "2007-07-09T18:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/41 "2007-07-09T20:37:58Z")
I’m pretty sure nothing by Hap Palmer or Raffi would work for stripping… ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/42 "2007-07-09T20:50:24Z")
“From a distance” by Bette Midler would be fairly uncomfortable. “God is watching us, God is watching…” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/43 "2007-07-09T21:03:53Z")
The Beer Barrel Polka Gregorian chants The works of John Cage Thus Spoke Zarathustra is doable, but only if the stripper has the goods to justify it. > [@Idle Thoughts](#): > > Dude…Dude…duuuuuude looks like a lady… That one really depends on what club your at. At the one I went to this weekend, it would have been entirely appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/44 "2007-07-09T21:05:50Z")
Hello Darkness, my old frieeeeend… What about William Hung? **Miller** , if a gal comes out to Thus Spake Zarathustra, she better be the hottest thing on two legs or on hands and knees. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/45 "2007-07-09T21:09:27Z")
[Old Time Religion.](http://henryqueen.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-time-religion-song-lyrics.html) ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/46 "2007-07-09T21:12:04Z")
[QUOTE=Malthus] “Excitable Boy” by Warren Zevon? [/QUOTE] Or _Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner_… ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/47 "2007-07-09T21:18:14Z")
“The ocean doesn’t want me today” Tom Waits. (Although, “Step right up” might work…) “Harry’s Circumcision” Lou Reed. (Call me kooky, but I’d steer clear of any song about attempted suicide and self-castration.) “I like big tits” Joe Walsh. (Crude even for a stripper. A male stripper might get some irony mileage out of it though) “Cold Ethyl” Alice Cooper. (See comments on Harry’s Circumcision and substitute necrophilia for self-castration.) “Achy-Breaky Heart” Billy Ray Cyrus. (This song is on an endless loop in the deepest bowels of hell!) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/48 "2007-07-09T21:27:08Z")
_A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying_ - Bloodhound Gang ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/49 "2007-07-09T21:33:48Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Anything sung by the Muppets [/QUOTE] It may not have much of a beat, but isn’t that what “Lydia, the Tattooed Lady” is all about? To answer the OP - How’s about The Dixie Chicks’ “Earl’s Gotta Die”? “Timothy” by the Buoys “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna On preview: Dammit, already beaten for two of my comments. Dammit. :mad: ETA: **Larry Borgia** , have you seen/heard any of the _other_ versions of Old Time Religion? Let us worship Aphrodite Let us worship Aphrodite She wears that see-thru nightie And it’s good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/50 "2007-07-09T21:37:19Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] I actually did see a stripper perform once to “Zombie” by the Cranberries, back when that song was getting airplay. I honestly can’t think of a more inappropriate song to strip to. [/QUOTE] _Tears in Heaven Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)_ ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/51 "2007-07-09T21:37:22Z")
“Dust in the Wind”- Kansas “Sheep”- Pink Floyd ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/52 "2007-07-09T21:38:20Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] And please, Lord, don’t make me watch someone bump and grind all sexylike to **The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald**. [/QUOTE] And the band played Waltzing Matilda… ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/53 "2007-07-09T21:49:30Z")
Moved from IMHO to CS. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/54 "2007-07-09T22:09:25Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] The Bridal March. :eek: There isn’t enough therapy available in the Northern Hemisphere to help someone twisted enough to pole-dance to that song (or to anyone who’d drink beer and hoot/holler at someone stripping to it). [/QUOTE] The Eric Idle/Rick Moranis flick [Splitting Heirs](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108207/) includes a scene of a stripper dancing to an awesomely sleazed-out version of “Here Comes the Bride.” ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/55 "2007-07-09T22:10:41Z")
King Crimson doesn’t seem to get much play in the strip clubs. Somehow, “Court of the Crimson King” and “Epitath” probably wouldn’t go over too well. In fact, most prog-rock acts would likely be a misfit in the strip joints. The disco-ized version of the Star Wars theme might work, but not the orchestral version. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/56 "2007-07-09T22:17:23Z")
“Having my baby” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/57 "2007-07-09T22:20:21Z")
[QUOTE=dwc1970] King Crimson doesn’t seem to get much play in the strip clubs. Somehow, “Court of the Crimson King” and “Epitath” probably wouldn’t go over too well. In fact, most prog-rock acts would likely be a misfit in the strip joints. [/QUOTE] Another movie reference: the strip club scene in [Buffalo '66](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118789/) is set to “Heart of the Sunrise” by Yes. (King Crimson’s “Moonchild” also appears elsewhere in the film.) ---
**Author:** ![Pithy\_Moniker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/58 "2007-07-09T22:33:14Z")
Butterfly Kisses hee hee! Daddy’s little girl indeed! ---
**Author:** ![dannyness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b77776/32.png) [@dannyness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dannyness)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/59 "2007-07-09T22:37:28Z")
The M_A_S\*H theme song. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/60 "2007-07-09T22:42:10Z")
“Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen. Might work at a nudist camp though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074.md?page=4)