# Worst songs for a stripper to perform to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074 "2007-07-09T18:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/101 "2007-07-10T12:33:11Z")
_Sigh_ **elelle** , a couple of times over the years I’ve gone back to a linked thread, seen a forgotton post and thought “Huh?” [QUOTE=Ranchoth] Judy Garland’s _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ [/QUOTE] … and yet for the upper 5% of performers this could be tantalizingly fitting. Boy, there’s been some doozies here. I gotta throw Johnny Cash’s **Hurt** into the mix as well. Well, that and **Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee**. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/102 "2007-07-10T12:39:22Z")
A few more: Helen Reddy: _I Am Woman_ Blue Oyster Cult: _Godzilla_ Clint Holmes: _Playground In My Mind_ Paper Lace: _The Night Chicago Died_ [Anything from the Jewish liturgy](http://www.virtualcantor.com/), except perhaps _Lecha Dodi_. Ani DiFranco: _Not a Pretty Girl_ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/103 "2007-07-10T12:59:54Z")
[QUOTE=zagloba] Well, a scat show would appeal to some … [/QUOTE] Even when it’s Mel Tourme? ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/104 "2007-07-10T14:01:21Z")
Only Women Bleed :eek: - I think it’s by Alice Cooper ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/105 "2007-07-10T14:03:02Z")
Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Clair” ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/106 "2007-07-10T14:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] [QUOTE=zagloba] Well, a scat show would appeal to some … [/QUOTE] Even when it’s Mel Tourme? [/QUOTE] Perhaps the smell would overpower the quality of the music. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/107 "2007-07-10T15:43:49Z")
[QUOTE=Lucky 13] Actually that song one of Peter Cetera’s solo works, and the correct name is “Glory of Love”. It’s off the _Karate Kid 2_ soundtrack. [/QUOTE] D’oh! I knew that, too…I was singing the song in my head as I typed and got distracted. (ETA: I knew the title, but not that it was Peter Cetera – thanks for the info!) Radiohead – “Bulletproof” Peter Gabriel – “I Grieve” Morrissey – “Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together” Elvis Costello – “Kinder Murder” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/108 "2007-07-10T15:51:36Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] -Kum Bai Yah [/QUOTE] Spelled like that, it’s kind of hot, but it makes me think of Bai Ling. :eek: I nominate “Goodnight Saigon”, “going down” notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/109 "2007-07-10T16:04:05Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] (snips) **Miller** , if a gal comes out to Thus Spake Zarathustra, she better be the hottest thing on two legs or on hands and knees. [/QUOTE] I don’t know. I’m listening (in my head) to the intro and that introductory part where the cymbals or drums or whatever do the BOM-BOM BOM-BOM BOM-BOM part would fit pretty well with certain types of boobage… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/110 "2007-07-10T16:38:37Z")
[ul] [li]Ain’t No Sunshine (the Al Green version is probably best known)[/li][li]Cats in the Cradle- Harry Chapin[/li][li]Life in a Northern Town- The Dream Academy[/li][li]Welcome to the Machine- Pink Floyd[/li][li]White Rabbit- Jefferson Airplane[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/111 "2007-07-10T17:15:07Z")
The Beatles - “Helter Skelter” Chicago - “Wish You Were Here” Mozart - “Requiem” Lloyd Weber - “Pie Jesu” I’m uncomfortable just _thinkin_’ about these as stripper songs… ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/112 "2007-07-10T17:51:17Z")
[Lyrics](http://www.lyricshead.com/lyrics/bloodhound-gang/a-lap-dance-is-so-much-better-when-the-stripper-is-crying-lyrics.html) to _A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying_… Any song that references “The Stinky Pinky Gulp N’ Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop” has to be a classic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/113 "2007-07-10T18:07:34Z")
[QUOTE=Idle Thoughts] Dude…Dude…duuuuuude looks like a lady… [/QUOTE] Sorry, I have already witnessed a stripper dance to this song. And it was not as bad as you would think, especially when she got to the “do me! do me! do me! DOOOO MEEEE!” part. The worst one that I actually saw has to have been “Automatic” by the Pointer Sisters. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/114 "2007-07-10T18:15:46Z")
Gloomy Sunday, Billie Holiday version. And just for total WTF and because imagining the dancing to it makes me laugh: Somebody Told Me, by the Killers. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/115 "2007-07-10T18:21:09Z")
Pachelbel’s _Canon_ Anything by John Cage, especially **4’33"** ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/116 "2007-07-10T18:38:56Z")
_Ave Maria_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/117 "2007-07-10T18:44:04Z")
When Johnny Comes Marching Home Carole King’s Mockingbird The Ballad of Davy Crockett ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/118 "2007-07-10T19:55:25Z")
It’s gotta be the dogs barking “Jingle Bells.” ---
**Author:** ![CJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@CJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/119 "2007-07-10T20:11:28Z")
I can’t believe no one has mentioned [“Entrance of the Gladiators”,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrance_of_the_Gladiators) that ubiquitous circus/carnival music. Appropriate perhaps if she’s the bearded lady or wearing clown makeup, but I’d pass… ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/120 "2007-07-10T21:24:20Z")
“Uhce. Tice. Fee Times a Mady!” by _Buh-weet_ “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” by Flatt and Scruggs [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074.md?page=7)