# Worst songs for a stripper to perform to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074 "2007-07-09T18:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/121 "2007-07-10T21:47:10Z")
I can’t help but think that high lonesome bluegrass wouldn’t be particularly appropriate for many strippers… ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/122 "2007-07-10T21:47:22Z")
•Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag (And Smile, Smile, Smile) •[Revelry of the Dying](http://home.gwi.net/~ipbar/lyrics/revelry.htm) •[Yoko Kanno’s _Inner Universe_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxF5YL04Iic) •[No Dogs Allowed](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Dogs_Allowed) •_Yeroushalaim Shel Zahav_ •Theme song to \*Here Come the Littles! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/123 "2007-07-11T02:33:33Z")
There are two songs off of Sponge’s Wax Ecstatic cd that would be completely innapropriate. “I Am Anastasia” or “The Death of a Drag Queen,” mostly depending on which type of stripper it was. [lyrics here](http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Studio/7341/wax.html) ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/124 "2007-07-11T02:48:31Z")
My Heart Belongs to Daddy? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/125 "2007-07-11T04:46:09Z")
I’m tempted to name “Yakkety Sax” (most famed for its use in _The Benny Hill Show),_ but the image of a woman stripping/dancing to that tune is too surreal to be lightly dismissed. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/126 "2007-07-11T04:48:14Z")
How about Richard Strauss’ _Also Sprach Zarathustra?_ (The theme from _2001: A Space Odyssey.)_ Or Wagner’s _Ride of the Valkyries?_ ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/127 "2007-07-11T05:05:52Z")
I once saw a burlesque performer strip to a recording of Jeff Buckley singing _Hallelujah_. It was unbelievably awful. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/128 "2007-07-11T05:12:18Z")
Any number of songs would be inappropriate, bad or counter-productive. But I have to go with **Lola**. The minute that song started, I’d be heading for the door. No questions asked, no matter what the woman looked like. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/129 "2007-07-11T08:39:17Z")
I saw a Thai stripper dance to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in Copenhagen in '04. I had only been in Europe a few days and was already suffering from culture shock. I thought strip clubs worldwide were pretty much the same, but this one was decorated more like a Thai restauraunt than a club. It had two big red Budda statues and there was a lot of fake ivy on the walls. I expected to find menus on the tables when we sat down. There was no background music and the place was basically empty - just our group of four and a bored looking older couple in the corner. Absolutely nothing happened for about 20 minutes and I was beginning to crave spring rolls. Finally a 30ish woman came out with a small CD player and started an unenthusiastic interpretation of the Wizard of Oz. I’m pretty sure she was even dressed kinda like Dorothy. Friend one: :dubious: , friend two: ☹ , friend three: :mad: , me: 😕 . When she finished, we clapped politely, paid for our drinks and quickly shuffled out to find a regular bar. I like the Wizard of Oz, but now feel kind of sad out when that song comes on, because it reminds me of how completely bored she looked even though she picked out the song and had a costume. edit: spelling ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/130 "2007-07-11T09:49:34Z")
The worst I’ve ever witnessed was a double-feature. “Butterfly Kisses,” a syrupy piece of tripe about a father singing to his very young daughter, followed by… “The Saga Begins”, Weird Al’s Star Wars parody set to the tune of “American Pie.” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/131 "2007-07-11T09:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] ETA: **Larry Borgia** , have you seen/heard any of the _other_ versions of Old Time Religion? Let us worship Aphrodite Let us worship Aphrodite She wears that see-thru nightie And it’s good enough for me! [/QUOTE] We shall worship like the druids Running naked through the wo-ods Drinking strange fermented fluids And it’s good enough for me! In the church of Aphrodite The priestess wears a see-through nightie She’s a mighty righteous sightie And she’s good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/132 "2007-07-11T16:51:10Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] I’m tempted to name “Yakkety Sax” (most famed for its use in _The Benny Hill Show),_ but the image of a woman stripping/dancing to that tune is too surreal to be lightly dismissed. [/QUOTE] She’d have to be fast. _Really_ fast. ---
**Author:** ![CJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@CJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/133 "2007-07-11T17:36:55Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by BrainGlutton > I’m tempted to name “Yakkety Sax” (most famed for its use in The Benny Hill Show), but the image of a woman stripping/dancing to that tune is too surreal to be lightly dismissed. She’d have to be fast. _Really_ fast. [/QUOTE] No doubt a gang of cops in bobby helmets would come it to chase her off stage, brandishing billy clubs over their head. Then a moment later they’d reappear running in the opposite direction, with the stripper chasing after… ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@Mike\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Fun)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/134 "2007-07-11T20:32:59Z")
I must be a freak or something. I’d actually pay extra to see a stripper perform to things like John Cage, the music from “Forbidden Planet,” vocal pieces by Ligeti, and Lou Reed’s _Metal Machine Music_ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/135 "2007-07-11T20:40:31Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] We shall worship like the druids Running naked through the wo-ods Drinking strange fermented fluids And it’s good enough for me! In the church of Aphrodite The priestess wears a see-through nightie She’s a mighty righteous sightie And she’s good enough for me! [/QUOTE] My own favorite’s Astarte A lusty wench and hearty Taught them Hebrews how to party And that’s good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/136 "2007-07-16T18:31:25Z")
My Ding-a-Ling, by Chuck Berry would be odd. A pretty obsure song-Lady Sniff, by the Butthole surfers would be rahter inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/137 "2007-07-16T19:29:00Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] _Ave Maria_ [/QUOTE] Apart from the awkward religious implications, I can actually imagine this one being a pretty good song for a stripper to perform to, depending on the type of “performance.” Bumping and grinding/boob-juggling/butt-cheek-flapping/sultry pole-licking, perhaps not, but I can sort of picture a graceful, “tasteful,” ballet-like performance by a woman who just happened to be fully or partially nude. Actually that goes for a few of the other songs mentioned here as well. On the other hand, I had the morbid pleasure of watching a slovenly stripper with an enormous round (not pregnant, I don’t think, but a close resemblance) belly dancing to Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” one night many years ago in Atlanta’s infamous Clermont Lounge. To the introductory chords, she did a heavy foot-stomping routine that rattled the whole stage and shook her gelatinous gut. It was almost hypnotic as well as thoroughly disgusting. Ozzy Osbourne would’ve been spinning in his grave if only he’d been dead. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/138 "2007-07-16T22:57:12Z")
The Lumberjack Song American Pie Louie Louie Freebird ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/139 "2007-07-16T23:51:21Z")
I’m thinking that anything by Al Yankovic would be right out. ---
**Author:** ![veemoffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/35a633/32.png) [@veemoffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veemoffa)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-for-a-stripper-to-perform-to/411074/140 "2007-07-17T01:35:15Z")
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