# Worst songs of the 70s **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [November 7, 2021, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924 "2021-11-07T04:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/1 "2021-11-07T04:58:29Z")
Talking with my brother about some 70’s music. Inspired by me saying to my cat Mickey, “Mickey come back” as he walked away from me. I wondered who did that stupid song, which turns out to be Player. I don’t know why I thought it was, as I said, some vaguely Spanish sounding band. That would be Pablo Cruise. God what a horrid mix of rock, pop, jazz, and disco. We are now searching for other examples of the worst music of the 70s, right now listening to Little River Band and Lonesome Loser. I actually bought that album when I was 15. As Niles said to Frasier, when Frasier said, “You once thought that the Boston Pops was great classical music”, Niles responded, “God, was I ever that young?” “We Built This City” is not allowed as a submision and it cannot be some ridiculously stupid song by some unknown band, it has to be some “respectable” song that was played on the radio. And while I am at it, it can’t be the Pina Colado song - who the fuck likes getting caught in the rain? . ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/2 "2021-11-07T05:05:52Z")
Released 24 September 1978: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GWFHVBnR7G0/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AHUBoAC4AOKAgwIABABGBMgJCh_MA8=&rs=AOn4CLBcoUePXhw2YGPw-coBgV77uNOmug "Donna Summer - MacArthur Park") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWFHVBnR7G0) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/3 "2021-11-07T05:09:04Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/umrzGr_etQw/maxresdefault.jpg "[You're] Having My Baby") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umrzGr_etQw) Chauvinistic crap. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/4 "2021-11-07T05:13:43Z")
> [@Mike\_Mabes](#): > > “We Built This City” is not allowed as a submision It wouldn’t qualify, anyway; it was from 1985. 🙂 My submission: “Afternoon Delight,” by the Starland Vocal Band, from 1976. Cheeeeeeeeeese. And, because it was the 1970s, it was also a #1 hit. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/wu1UXCdyNo0/hqdefault.jpg "Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight (1976) Uncut Video") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu1UXCdyNo0) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/5 "2021-11-07T05:15:55Z")
They got a summer tv series based solely on a song about sex in the afternoon. I give them points for that trick. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/6 "2021-11-07T05:17:11Z")
thread should be closed, you win. Except for this - [You've Never Been This Far Before ( Conway Twitty ) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V1fX-FvKW8) 30 plus guy singing about seducing a virgin, with his hand hanging over his crotch ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/7 "2021-11-07T05:19:58Z")
Worst songs of the 70s? “Having My Baby” by Paul Anka. Ugh. “Playground in My Mind” by Clint Holmes. My name is Michael, I got a nickel… “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods. Rod Stewart? I’ll have to think on it You know, the 70s were when disco happened… I feel like I need to leave on a positive note (pun intended). Love this song. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/TyYhd0H9bLI/maxresdefault.jpg "You and Me") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyYhd0H9bLI) ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/8 "2021-11-07T05:20:16Z")
Another improbable #1 hit. The chorus, in particular, makes my eyes water. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/lKcpodt0YCU/maxresdefault.jpg "Melanie - Brand New Key (Audio)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKcpodt0YCU) ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/9 "2021-11-07T05:20:17Z")
you are right, lets make it 70s/80s, my formative years ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/10 "2021-11-07T05:22:16Z")
That one spent 16 weeks on the country music chart…3 weeks as Number 1. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/11 "2021-11-07T05:25:12Z")
Agree mostly but Rod Stewart recorded some of the best (Every Picture Tells a Story, almost anything in the early Mercury days) and the worst of the 70s ( Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? ) ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/12 "2021-11-07T05:27:49Z")
I think “Mockingbird” as sung by Carly Simon and James Taylor has got to be up there as one of the worst songs of the 1970s. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4WM_R-6AKHE/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AHwBIAC4AOKAgwIABABGH8gLyg2MA8=&rs=AOn4CLAYKNFAmnk-sJdjHoXsm9Y3x8oBfA "Mockingbird - Carly Simon & James Taylor") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WM_R-6AKHE) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/13 "2021-11-07T05:28:51Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > My submission: “Afternoon Delight,” by the Starland Vocal Band, from 1976. Cheeeeeeeeeese. And, because it was the 1970s, it was also a #1 hit. Except without that song, we wouldn’t have this classic Arrested Development moment: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/_CJ2wUhPtYM/hqdefault.jpg "Arrested Development - Afternoon Delight") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CJ2wUhPtYM) My vote for this list has to go to Half-Breed by Cher: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Z6E98ZRaU1s/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH6BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGGUgTShDMA8=&rs=AOn4CLAPnTt1ifrOqDMIWQB9JG5fAHR_ww "Cher - Half Breed") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6E98ZRaU1s) ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/14 "2021-11-07T05:30:15Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/QsvfS0lnCYU/maxresdefault.jpg "Dumb and Dumber - Mockingbird") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsvfS0lnCYU) ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/15 "2021-11-07T05:32:50Z")
This only loosely qualifies as a “song,” as it’s just Red Sovine talking, over a schmaltzy country-and-western background track, but “Teddy Bear” (1976) is pretty terrible. It’s a tearjerker, about a lonely little boy in a wheelchair, whose dad is dead, and who talks to truckers over his CB radio, wishing that he could go for a ride in a semi. And, it, too, was a #1 song (on the country chart). [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/J3vu-DKNeOc/maxresdefault.jpg "Red Sovine - Teddy Bear 1976") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3vu-DKNeOc) ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/16 "2021-11-07T05:35:47Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > My vote for this list has to go to Half-Breed by Cher: Wow. That and “Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves” would get her cancelled today. You reminded me of the existence of Paul Revere and the Raiders “Indian Reservation.” [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/21ixwIaN7qw/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGGUgTihMMA8=&rs=AOn4CLCK2npdbntAHKRqr6gCAFp2ibP9xQ "Paul Revere & The Raiders - Indian Reservation HQ Sound") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ixwIaN7qw) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/17 "2021-11-07T05:37:06Z")
It did launch the career of a comedian named David Letterman. 17 posts and nobody has yet mentioned “Disco Duck”, “Junk Food Junkie”, or “Jeans On”? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/18 "2021-11-07T05:38:51Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > 17 posts and nobody has yet mentioned “Disco Duck”, “Junk Food Junkie”, or “Jeans On”? Novelty songs are almost bad by design, but you’re right, those are all pretty terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/19 "2021-11-07T05:42:42Z")
Sorry-OP specified no novelty songs. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/20 "2021-11-07T05:46:47Z")
Not sure I agree. As silly as Cher’s costume looks now in Half-Breed, it was a sympatetic portrayal about, well, half breeds. And in Gypies, Tramps and Thieves, which I haven’t heard in many years, we have this - Gypsies, tramps, and thieves We’d hear it from the people of the town They’d call us gypsies, tramps, and thieves But every night all the men would come around And lay their money down Does that not capture the hypocrisy? Jefferson thought the white man was superior, but he had no problem fucking black women. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924.md?page=2)