# Worst songs of the 70s **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [November 7, 2021, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924 "2021-11-07T04:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/21 "2021-11-07T07:23:29Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods. Ugh. So much contrived unearned emotion in that tune. Where I lived, it was an early teenaged girl’s anthem it seemed. I broke up with a girl over that song: A 30-something woman that was 13 in her mind ( and probably still is ) that would play that song over and over and sing along in a maudlin, overly emotional, over-enunciated way, clutching her heart all the while…and get pissed off at me because I didn’t feel the vibe for that song she did. My younger sisters went apeshit over ‘Seasons in the Sun’ prior to that, so, in turn, I developed a healthy disdain for schlocky glurge. K-Tel records, may you burn in hell. ( assuming there really is such a place ) ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/22 "2021-11-07T08:01:01Z")
Ignore the re-release date, it’s originally from 1977. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SZgIk2b68gQ/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-AoACoAKKAgwIABABGCEgHih_MA8=&rs=AOn4CLDFDfSd2tcbEzlDN0mNayuD6BGDKg "Charlene - I've Never Been To Me (1977/1982)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZgIk2b68gQ) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/23 "2021-11-07T10:07:13Z")
Close to You, by the Carpenters. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QxzeUMt52uo/hqdefault.jpg "Close To You Carpenters HQ audio") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxzeUMt52uo) I totally get that Karen Carpenter had such a beautiful voice, she could sing just about anything and still have a hit, but cripes, she didn’t have to _prove_ it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/24 "2021-11-07T11:28:01Z")
We do this lists regularly. Here’s one that I haven’t seen listed. **Sample lyric:** _And sometimes when we touch_ _The honesty’s too much_ _And I have to close my eyes and hide_ _I wanna hold you 'til I die_ _'Til we both break down and cry_ _I wanna hold you 'til the fear in me subsides_ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/z825tkkfbIo/maxresdefault.jpg "Dan Hill - Sometimes When We Touch (1977)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z825tkkfbIo) ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/25 "2021-11-07T11:49:33Z")
isnt cher like half indian herself? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/26 "2021-11-07T12:05:51Z")
Silver Convention’s [“Fly, Robin, Fly”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUPdG4DA42g). What utter crap that was. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/27 "2021-11-07T14:14:31Z")
This song makes me want to commit Harakiri. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b07-yKnKRMQ/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-AoACoAKKAgwIABABGHMgLih_MA8=&rs=AOn4CLD9BpcqRTfarfTtexssRhPOwAmDsA "Debby Boone You light up my life") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b07-yKnKRMQ) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/28 "2021-11-07T14:16:12Z")
No, she’s not. _We never settled, went from town to town_ _When you’re not welcome you don’t hang around_ _The other children always laughed at me_ _“Give her a duduk, she’s Armenian”_ Her mother claimed some Cherokee heritage, but who doesn’t? It’s always Cherokee or Apache or Navajo. Nobody ever claims to be Passamaquoddy or Tonkawa. The 70s are a bottomless well of dreck. Pick a song from the charts, almost any song: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev8SibkJhNg) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/29 "2021-11-07T14:28:39Z")
Run, Joey Run I’m glad the girl dies at the end, just wish she’d kept her mouth shut while doing so. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/30 "2021-11-07T14:43:31Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > 17 posts and nobody has yet mentioned “Disco Duck”, “Junk Food Junkie”, or “Jeans On”? - What the hell is wrong with “Junk Food Junkie”? ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/31 "2021-11-07T14:44:43Z")
When this topic comes up, I always have three go-to songs: > [@GuanoLad](#): > > Ignore the re-release date, it’s originally from 1977. > > [NOTE: Link is to _Never Been to Me_ by Charlene] is one, > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Run, Joey Run is the second, and the third, also by David Geddes, is _The Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleachers)_. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/32 "2021-11-07T14:50:10Z")
There are some songs in this thread that I liked as a young kid, then reviled as a sneering, punk-loving teenager, and came back around to much later in life. Certainly “Fooled Around and Fell in Love” is one of those, as is “Afternoon Delight”. Both are well-written and insidiously catchy. I never came back around to “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” though. Some recoveries are far too difficult. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/33 "2021-11-07T15:01:59Z")
These aren’t songs, but they were records and no one ever mentions them in threads of this stripe: **Mr Jaws** and **Kong** , both by Dickie Goodman. I still wanna cut my throat. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/34 "2021-11-07T15:07:07Z")
As I scrolled through this thread I became increasingly incredulous that no one else mentioned this treacly chunk of glurge yet: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/YG9otasNmxI/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGGUgUChGMA8=&rs=AOn4CLBwFTTf9mZovxM2cHuFqVOtjVVL8g "Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG9otasNmxI) ---
**Author:** ![Galactus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galactus/32/3581_2.png) [@Galactus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Galactus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/35 "2021-11-07T16:07:39Z")
Chevy Van. A song about picking up a girl, having sex with her and then kicking her out in the middle of nowhere. Classic Sample lyrics: She woke up and took me by the hand She’s gonna love me in my Chevy van and that’s all right with me I put her out in a town that was so small You could throw a rock from end to end A dirt road main street, she walked off in bare feet It’s a shame I won’t be passin’ through again [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/o-bMlYlBaUI/maxresdefault.jpg "Chevy Van Sammy Johns") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-bMlYlBaUI) ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/36 "2021-11-07T16:24:31Z")
> [@solost](#): > > As I scrolled through this thread I became increasingly incredulous that no one else mentioned this treacly chunk of glurge yet: Post #21. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/37 "2021-11-07T16:29:15Z")
I wanted to post the song about the woman who was “undressed by kings” and “sipped champagne on yachts” singing her regrets that she wasn’t living in a trailer park saddled with a screaming brat. Damn you, ninja! ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/38 "2021-11-07T16:54:18Z")
( shameless plug ) 😆 I already did, in post 20 or so upthread. ---
**Author:** ![XOldiesJock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ec9cab/32.png) [@XOldiesJock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XOldiesJock)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/39 "2021-11-07T16:56:05Z")
Having been a screamin’ AM Top 40 disc jockey in the 1970s, I can’t disagree with any of these choices. Bad, bad memories all the way around. It was an awful decade for pop music (though pretty good for rock music). Has anyone yet mentioned “Muskrat Love” by the Captain and Tennille? Or anything by the Captain and Tennille. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924/40 "2021-11-07T16:58:43Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > I already did, in post 20 or so upthread. Oops, missed it on the first pass, sorry. But, the song is so bad it deserves to be mentioned twice, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-songs-of-the-70s/953924.md?page=3)