# Worst Spam Ever
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 21, 2022, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338 "2022-11-21T20:42:55Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/1 "2022-11-21T20:42:55Z")
I just got an email announcing that my subscription expired. What subscription? It doesn’t bother to say. Everybody’s got subscriptions, right? And who keeps track of all of them?
Maybe that might have tempted somebody - unless they looked at the name of the sender.
**wigglyrabidfaultysmoggyreplaceshitshoegirls @ [talktonia.com](http://talktonia.com)**
Oh, him.
---
### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/2 "2022-11-21T20:54:14Z")
Yeah, that guy is a real PITA. 🙂
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### Author:  [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/3 "2022-11-21T20:56:48Z")
I don’t know, it’s a tad more realistic than the spam mails I get with addresses only consisting of random consonants with an @ and a dot mixed in. Mostly ending in .ru.
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### Author:  [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/4 "2022-11-21T21:04:45Z")
Looks legit to me. You better renew your wigglyrabidfaultysmoggyreplaceshitshoegirls subscription.
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### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/5 "2022-11-21T21:15:16Z")
Is it _wiggly rabid faulty smoggy replaces hit shoe girls_, or _wiggly rabid faulty smoggy replace shits hoe girls_?
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/6 "2022-11-21T21:18:56Z")
That’s ingeious, no one would ever suspect a scammer of being that stupid.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/7 "2022-11-21T21:48:27Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> That’s ingeious, no one would ever suspect a scammer of being that stupid. -
So professional and well-written.
> Woodforest National Bank.
> 762 banking locations.
> corporate headquarters
> 1330 Lake Robbins Drive in The Woodlands Texas
>
> **PAYMENT US$650,000.00 UNITED STATES DOLLARS FOR YOU,URGENT RESPONSE**
> THIS EMAIL…
>
> Attention,
>
> we the Woodforest National Bank Texas are to Notify you about the latest development concerning your payment that are left in our custody, besides,I have to inform you again that we are not playing over this,I know my reason for the continuous sending of this notification to you,the fact is this you can’t seem to trust any one again over this payment for what you have been in cantered in many
> years ago but I want you to have trust on this issues, I cannot scam you for $25 or $50 it is for bank processing of your payment the fees of $50 is clearly written to you before.
>
> I did not invent the bill to defraud you of $25 or $50, it is an official bank payment processing fee, and the good part of this is that you will never ever be disturbed again over any kind of payment, this is final and the forms from there becomes effective once we submit your payment application processing fee and choose your options of receiving okay. I don’t want you to loose this fund this time because you may never get another such good opportunity the Federal Government is keen and very determined to pay your overdue debts this is not a fluke I would not! Want you to loose this fund out,
>
> Further more, you are advised to reply to this email after reading,and feel free to tell us why you abandoned such huge amount here. Let us know if you are no longer interested to complete your transaction.
>
> BELOW ARE THE APPROVED MEANS OF RECEIVING YOUR MONEY AND IT CHARGE RATES. You are to CHOOSE one of the OPTIONS Below
>
> (1) Bank to Bank transfer:…Charge Rate: $50
> (2) ATM card delivery:…Charge Rate: $25
> (3) Cashier Check Delivery:…Charge Rate $25
>
> You are required to send the fee of $25 by WESTERN UNION or MONEY GRAM to the issuing officer at the bank or YOU CAN PURCHASE $25 GOOGLE PLAY CARD/STEAM WALLET CARD
>
> RECEIVERS NAME : NWACHUKWU NNAEMEKA NWAKPA
> Country : SENEGAL
> City : DAKAR
> Sender’s Name:-------------
> Country code 221
> MTCN OR REFERENCE Number
>
> Therefore you are requested to send the fee $25 only by Google Play CARD,amazon’ Stream Wallet is also ACCEPTED because it can be redeemed to cash all we needs is picture of the card
>
> I will be forwarding to you the account logging details to enable you access your funds online and proceed on transfer to your designated bank account in any part of the world Or Tracking Number Of Your ATM Card Delivery to enable you Monitor the Arriver of your ATM without any further delay as soon as you update us copy of the cards of the required Fee $25 to take note.
>
> Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve your banking needs.
>
> Yours sincerely,
> NWACHUKWU NNAEMEKA NWAKPA
> Chairman, Chief Executive Officer,
> Chief Executive Officer of Woodforest National Bank And Director of
> Woodforest National Bank
---
### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/8 "2022-11-21T21:57:58Z")
I must admit I was wondering the same thing.
It could even be ‘replace shit shoe girls’
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### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/9 "2022-11-21T22:16:59Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#):
>
> Looks legit to me. You better renew your wigglyrabidfaultysmoggyreplaceshitshoegirls subscription.
I already signed up last year for only $10 for the first month and automatic billing thereafter. Such a bargain for hoe girls. I have an entire pumpkin patch that needs weeding for the Great Pumpkin to find it sincere enough.
---
### Author:  [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/10 "2022-11-21T22:24:31Z")
> [@running\_coach](#):
>
> So professional and well-written.
It reads like Vogon poetry.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/11 "2022-11-21T22:27:19Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#):
>
> > [@running\_coach](#):
> >
> > So professional and well-written.
>
> It reads like Vogon poetry. -
Let’s hope the spammer’s small intestine tried to strangle him.
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### Author:  [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/12 "2022-11-21T22:28:13Z")
So a Texas bank has you send money to Senegal? I wouldn’t even question it. What option did you pick?
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2022, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/13 "2022-11-21T22:33:53Z")
I sent the left side of [this picture](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/RFD18H/funny-clown-businessman-isolated-on-white-RFD18H.jpg).(NSFW) I already have all the scammers I can deal with at one time.
In a few days, I might respond just to see if I got put on the naughty list.
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### Author:  [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/14 "2022-11-22T00:04:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#):
>
> I have to inform you again that we are not playing over this,I know my reason for the continuous sending of this notification to you,
Oh, ok, I didn’t realize that he was not playing over this. As long as he knows his reason, I’m convinced.
---
### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/15 "2022-11-22T04:05:52Z")
Oh, he’s playing all right. The stains all over his monitor are proof of that.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/16 "2022-11-22T04:30:16Z")
Well, you’d expect Woodforest National Bank to be located in The Woodlands, Texas (which is a real place).
I can’t believe you’d abandon such a huge amount of money over a measly $25 fee.
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### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/17 "2022-11-22T04:56:29Z")
Aren’t all forests made of wood? There aren’t any forests in Texas. It’s all desert. And hurricane debris.
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### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/18 "2022-11-22T05:07:22Z")
Oh, I never sent the $25-$50 banking fee.
I wondered what they did with my millions.
Just my luck. Tapped and l forgot to pay my banking fee
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### Author:  [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/19 "2022-11-22T12:30:09Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#):
>
> Aren’t all forests made of wood? There aren’t any forests in Texas. It’s all desert. And hurricane debris.
Maybe the wood forest is in Senegal, and that’s why @running_coach’s benefactor Nwachukwu Nnaemeka Nwakpa (his friends just call him “Chuk”) resides there instead of sweating it out in the Texas desert.
My advice would be to tell Chuk to take the $50 processing fee out of the $650,000 and just send you $649,950. Surely in his capacity as Chairman, Chief Executive Officer, Chief Executive Officer a second time, and also Director, Chuk has enough clout at the Woodforest Bank to do that. Tell him you’re fine with that, and you look forward to “Monitor the Arriver of your ATM without any further delay”. Chuk can then buy his own Google Play card. Seems much more efficient all around.
---
### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2022, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-spam-ever/975338/20 "2022-11-22T14:54:23Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#):
>
> I must admit I was wondering the same thing.
>
> It could even be ‘replace shit shoe girls’
That was my interpretation too.
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