# WORST starship? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2001, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868 "2001-03-13T23:19:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/21 "2001-03-14T20:05:14Z")
Yeah, I loved Event Horizon. I know i’m the only one; I bought it for like $6 at Rogers 😃 and I still watch it from time to time. I’m just a huge fan of pointless violence, I supposed. Plots? Who needs plots? Give me people being killed horribly anyday! I also loved _Starship Troopers_, for crissake! ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/22 "2001-03-15T00:27:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mysphyt \* > \*\*Jefferson. Fine as an airplane. Not so good outside the Earth’s atmosphere. \*\* Funny. I remember they came to my area a while back. Are they any good? ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/23 "2001-03-15T01:09:54Z")
Maybe it falls more into the campy rather than out and out bad, but the SpaceWinnebago from Spaceballs has to be up on the list somewhere! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/24 "2001-03-15T02:33:57Z")
How about the giant Ark from _The Starlost_? That was a major league bad ship. First Whatever accident that disabled all the systems killed the entire crew as well. About 70% of the doors never could open, granted it was a damn big ship. Eagles from _Space 1999_ were also pretty bad. They had 3 things going for them though: 1. A travel range of a few light days 2. There were copius amounts of them, and piolets. They were always getting shot down, but there were always enough in reserve. 3. Hi Opal 4. While the outside of them looked like a Lego and Erector set mish-mash, the interior was totally _2001: A Space Oddesy_. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/25 "2001-03-15T03:46:46Z")
Inky- said Flesh Gordon? ``` I'm gunna' regret asking, but what did it look like? ``` Imagine a bronze colored erect penis, with a car license plate in the back and it started with a VW key. Allo, Opale 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/26 "2001-03-15T04:01:37Z")
I feel compelled to point out–though God knows why–that the _Discovery_ from _2001_ was not a _star_ship, but an interplanetary vessel. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/27 "2001-03-15T07:08:06Z")
Oh no, I have you **all** beat . . . Any “shuttlecraft” from the NBC (I think) miniseries “V”. Just think about it. Any shuttlecraft that can fly upside down while keeping the actors’ hair pointing toward the deck really needs help. Especially FX help . . . Tripler Go back and watch it. I dare ya! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/28 "2001-03-15T08:20:53Z")
The ship in _Ice Pirates_. It had herpes. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/29 "2001-03-15T10:15:34Z")
> [@](#): > > How about the Millenium Falcon? Yeah, it was fast, but it seemed like Han Solo spent half his time grounded for repairs! What a lemon THAT thing was! Well, that’s just because Han couldn’t keep up with the repairs. By the time TESB rolled around, he had been on the run from the Empire for three years. I think he should be granted an exception for Empire… 'specially since he got the thing up and running perfectly just in time for ROTJ. > [@](#): > > I thought starships should look like the interior of a late model Cadillac –nice leather seats, high-tech instrument panels, etc. What were these guys (the designers of the ALIEN sets) thinking? That, perhaps, in the future people will be smart enough to know that it’s not cost effective to make sure every surface is as shiny as a mirror? > [@](#): > > I also loved Starship Troopers, for crissake! Speaking of _Starshit Troopers_… those dropships? Am I the only one who noticed that they were boxes with engines glued on the back? Talk about uncreative and unaerodynamy design… > [@](#): > > Any shuttlecraft that can fly upside down while keeping the actors’ hair pointing toward the deck really needs help. Especially FX help . . . ::cough Artificial Gravity cough:: ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/30 "2001-03-15T11:02:55Z")
The dropships in Starship Troopers pissed me off because there were no dropships in the book - the troopers were dropped individually from orbit. I saw an anime with a HUGE starship (thousands of feet long, probably) that would turn into a giant robot. When it changed shape, they showed people and furniture inside ‘falling’ through these giant rooms within the ship. This seemed incredibly stupid. A. - If they had artificial gravity, why couldn’t it continue to make the floor ‘down’ when the limb that floor was in moved? Does the same thing happen whenever the ship turned when not in robot form? B. - If the gravity in the ship coudln’t change it’s direction with the ship, why didn’t they bolt down all the heavy stuff to keep it from accumulating in the feet when the ship changed shape? C. - Why the hell does a giant starship which looks kinda like a shopping mall on the inside, full of hundreds, perhaps thousands of apparent civillians, need to turn into a robot??? ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/31 "2001-03-15T11:38:41Z")
Sure, in Starship troopers the grunts got fired down to space in pods much like bullets out of a machine gun… but they did have a ship that launched them back into orbit so they could be picked up by their ship. It’s what Dizzy (female lead in film/man in book) dies in on page 2. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/32 "2001-03-15T13:57:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > **I saw an anime with a HUGE starship (thousands of feet long, probably) that would turn into a giant robot. When it changed shape, they showed people and furniture inside ‘falling’ through these giant rooms within the ship. This seemed incredibly stupid.** Sounds like Macross/Robotech - one of my favourite series, so I’ll field this. If so, the ship’s … ::Checking [Robotech.com](http://Robotech.com):: 1210m. > [@](#): > > **A. - If they had artificial gravity, why couldn’t it continue to make the floor ‘down’ when the limb that floor was in moved?** It isn’t the gravity, it’s the motion. It is, actually, rather analagous to an earthquake. The ‘ground’ moves rather unexpectedly. People fall through holes that weren’t there a moment ago, buildings collapse… > [@](#): > > **Does the same thing happen whenever the ship turned when not in robot form?** No - the Macross/SDF-1 doesn’t change all that often. Plus once it happens the first time, they change the setup of Macross City (Which was in the ship due to the fact that the ship’s engine is completely alien to the crew. They weren’t expecting it to take the whole island with it.), so that when it does change, with warning, the civilians can get to safe areas. The problem wasn’t with the ship’s design - it was with the city’s design. They tried to make the city exactly how it was on Earth, without thinking that they’d have to reconfigure the ship. (The ship and engine were of alien design, and this was it’s ‘maiden’ voyage after falling into human hands.) As a side note, it’s only really humanoid because of 2 aircraft carriers that were affixed to the ship after the accident mentioned above. They became its arms. > [@](#): > > \*\*C. - Why the hell does a giant starship which looks kinda like a shopping mall on the inside, full of hundreds, perhaps thousands of apparent civillians, need to turn into a robot??? \*\* A rather large chunk of the engine/power distrobution system disappeared. The SDF-1 had to reconfigure in order to fire it’s main gun. Why it was capable of transforming in the first place… Never really explained… But it’s a common aspect of technology in the Macross/Robotech universes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/33 "2001-03-15T14:23:36Z")
Technically not a starship, but may I offer a complimentary vote for the Flying Sub from Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea? And let us not forget “Moon Rocket XXX” (whatever) from “Destroy All Monsters”. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/34 "2001-03-15T15:31:21Z")
I said this in the Best Starship thread, but I’ll repeat: The Battlestar Galactica is garbadge. The cylons are complete morons for not being able to take it out. The ship is basically an aircraft carrier: 90% of its firepower is its fighters. This is fine, in and of itself (although hardly impressive), but all the ships are launched from two easily destroyed bays sticking out of the main hull! The ship moved like a brick, and its main gun seemed to take forever to fire. Plus, the Galactica is butt ugly. I loved Starship Troopers in all its cheesyness, but even I thought it was really silly to send in a fleet of ships that apparentily had no orbital weapons whatsoever. You’d think they could have at least spared a thruster or two, tied it to one of the bugs asteroids, and launched _that_ to the planet… ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/35 "2001-03-15T15:45:45Z")
I am still thoroughly convinced the Macross/SDF-1 is a horrible spaceship. I still think if the thing had artificial gravity capable of keeping everything in place through the kinds of maneuvering and accelerations that a starship would go through, they should make the slow movement as it reconfigured it’s shape unnoticeable. The individual parts had to be moving far less than 50 meters per second in relation to each other if it was in fact 1200 meters long, that’s nothing. I’m even more impressed with the stupidity of the humans on it. What kind of idiot decides to build a city in an alien spacecraft built with technology you don’t understand, that you have never even flown before? What kind of fool moves there? Why were they oblivious to the possibility it changes shape, engineers should have noticed the joints and stuff. If I figure out the spaceship I’m going to live on can change shape, I’m going to figure out how to control it’s shapechanging before I move on it! ---
**Author:** ![egkelly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/db5fbb/32.png) [@egkelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/egkelly)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/36 "2001-03-15T16:04:40Z")
What about those low-rent spaceships from the old “FLASH GORDON” seires? They were really low-tech-I remember that they made a sound like an old out-of-tune radio-something like a loud buzzing sound. And they had MASSIVE doors-like the hatches you see on a modern submarine-I guess the starship designers on MONGO didn’t have to worry about excess weight! Finally, they were piloted by guys wearing roman armor, and sometimes Viking-style helmets! The steering was via an old ship’s wheel, and there was no radar. Even for the 1930’s, they looked cheesy as hell! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/37 "2001-03-15T20:20:36Z")
Hell, I’m willing to cut the 1930’s Flash gordon some slack, just because it was the 30’s. Special effects just weren’t that hot. But how about the ships in the Wing Commander movie? The ones with the _crew loaded_ torpedo tubes? The snazzy moniters with the vector graphics? The aliens that looked like El Tigre, the Mexican wrestler? There’s just no excuse for that. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/38 "2001-03-15T20:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sealemon88 \* > \*\*I said this in the Best Starship thread, but I’ll repeat: The Battlestar Galactica is garbadge. The cylons are complete morons for not being able to take it out. > \*\* Quite right. The Cylons were able to destroy 10 battlestars at once (more or less), but with their entire combined fleet, they couldn’t get the last 2. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/39 "2001-03-16T01:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > **I’m even more impressed with the stupidity of the humans on it. What kind of idiot decides to build a city in an alien spacecraft built with technology you don’t understand, that you have never even flown before? What kind of fool moves there?** The city was originally built on the island the ship had crashlanded on. It grew up around the ship, to support the scientific and military crews that were researching/repairing/refitting the ship. The Aliens who had originally owned the ship (the Zentreadi) attacked. In an attempt to protect the city, they used the untried Fold engines, teleporting themselves to the Moon. Unfortunately, ignorance is really not bliss. 2 major problems with using the Fold engines in this way presented themselves at this point (they had intended to test them on this flight): 1. They hadn’t actually figured out the controls properly… (Or, if you believe the speculation of certain characters, the ship’s engines had a mind of their own.) Instead of the orbit of the Moon, they ended up in orbit of Pluto. 2. Fold engines weren’t designed to be used in the atmosphere of a planet. (The Zentraedi decide we’re either a reckless or stupid race upon seeing the SDF-1 do this. They eventually learn it’s both. ^\_\_^) The island came with. Luckily, (Many of) the civilians were locked into the island’s shelters, which proved both airtight and well insulated. It was either rebuild it in the ship, leave them to slowly suffocate (or freeze) in their shelters out in the orbit of Pluto, or house a bunch of civilians in uncomfortable makeshift military style housing for the unknown time it took to get back to Earth. The Fold engines were the section that disappeared (This plays into the ‘mind of their own’ theory), so Folding back to Earth (even if they could be sure they could successfully do so) wasn’t an option. They (rightly) decided that a bunch of civilians onboard for who knows how long, with nothing to do, would be a Very Bad Thing. This proved a very good decision, on the whole, since an accident with more of their untried technology, they weren’t able to let the civilians off on Earth when they first, so they were stuck on board for another year, until the war with the Zentraedi ends. > [@](#): > > \*\*Why were they oblivious to the possibility it changes shape, engineers should have noticed the joints and stuff. If I figure out the spaceship I’m going to live on can change shape, I’m going to figure out how to control it’s shapechanging before I move on it! \*\* They knew it could. ‘Mechamorphosis’ is a common thread to much of the Protoculture powered hardware. They didn’t know they’d **have** to. ‘So the Fold engine’s gone…everything else still works, right?’ ‘Looks like it, sir.’ ‘Good, let’s go.’ ::Rebuild, fly along, get attacked:: ‘Fire the main guns!’ ‘They get no power, sir.’ ‘…Oh…’ There was one hell of a learning curve with this ship, being forced as they were to use various features (the Fold Engines, the main gun, reconfiguration, the pin-point shields) under battle conditions without having gotten a chance to test them beforehand, but it was nothing inherantly wrong with the reconfiguration or rebuilding of Macross City inside it. ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868/40 "2001-03-16T02:09:50Z")
how about the stardive ship from Hitchhiker’s Guide. the one with the black buttons that light up a black light with black letters that let you know that you pressed the button. that and it was only for a one way trip to a blazing death and there is a whole lot on nothing that the ground crew can do about it [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-starship/57868.md?page=3)