# Worst television programs of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332 "2001-03-01T04:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/41 "2001-03-01T21:58:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Holden MacRoyne \* > > Hey, **Southpaw** , don’t be dissin’ “Manimal”. All six episodes are true classics! Besides, it was in hiatus for about 5 years before it was finally “cancelled”. \*\* You do mean classic drek, right? 🙂 IIRC the guy only turned into a bird of some sort. If you’re going to be able to change your self into another species, at least make it something cool like a tiger or an elephant or something. Anybody else remember Misfits of Science? ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/42 "2001-03-01T22:23:54Z")
Read all posts before replying Read all posts before replying Read all posts before replying… ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/43 "2001-03-01T22:25:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackclaw \* > \*\* I even like the Zev character. \*\* 😃 Zev (I know, not “Zev”) Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![BobSchroeck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@BobSchroeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobSchroeck)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/44 "2001-03-01T22:26:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Southpaw \* > \*\*Anybody else remember Misfits of Science? \*\* Yup. I actually kinda liked it. Unlike a lot of bad series, it had a self-conscious “we know we’re bad, but we’re having fun” air to it. Besides, “Voltman” singing “Johnny B. Goode” while flinging lightning bolts at the Evil Army Troops™ was just such a great scene… – Bob ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/45 "2001-03-01T22:39:28Z")
I can’t believe no one has mentioned **Alf**. Hey **Sealemon** , I may be having hallucinations but I think I have actually read in a real physics textbook that that “Salvage 1” method of sending a rocket into space is theoretically possible and might even work better than the lift-off method currently used, but for whatever reason the “normal” way has become the one that’s always used. Something to do with Einstein’s or Newton’s theories or something and the fact that once the ship gets into orbit it will just keep going and going. I can’t remember exactly where I read this and I’m sure I’ve got it somewhat wrong; maybe one of the physics people here knows what I’m talking about. (Hey, I really liked that show!) ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/46 "2001-03-01T23:21:25Z")
Xena: warrior dipstick. bad, bad, bad, Ugh bad! Beastmaster: just as bad bad bad! Queen of swords: really bad! Relic hunter: Yeech! What do these have in common? The crappiest storylines, bad fight scenes, and exist simply to take up a Saturday afternoon, Sunday late night time slot. ---
**Author:** ![BobSchroeck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@BobSchroeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobSchroeck)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/47 "2001-03-01T23:33:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > \*\*Hey **Sealemon** , I may be having hallucinations but I think I have actually read in a real physics textbook that that “Salvage 1” method of sending a rocket into space is theoretically possible and might even work better than the lift-off method currently used, but for whatever reason the “normal” way has become the one that’s always used. Something to do with Einstein’s or Newton’s theories or something and the fact that once the ship gets into orbit it will just keep going and going. I can’t remember exactly where I read this and I’m sure I’ve got it somewhat wrong; maybe one of the physics people here knows what I’m talking about. (Hey, I really liked that show!) > \*\* Okay, here’s the deal. The physics of _Salvage I_ was right on the money; the chemistry was pure fantasy. You can get to space at any speed that lifts you off the ground, no matter how slowly, as long as you keep moving. And if you keep accelerating continously, no matter how small that acceleration is, you keep building up speed, and you can eventually reach a pretty hefty velocity. That’s one of the principles behind the solar sail concept. Two caveats to this: one, you need to counteract gravity first, and two, you need a lot of energy, which is to say fuel, for most ways of doing it. The reason real rockets take off like they do is a combination of the two caveats. They need to counteract gravity right away – or all the power they put out does nothing. (Yes, I know this isn’t precise. It isn’t meant to be.) And almost every fuel has so much mass compared to its energy content that for every pound of fuel you bring, you need to bring X more pounds of fuel to lift **it** , then X times X to lift **that** , and so on, and so on. You reach a point of diminishing returns. Continuous linear acceleration just won’t work until we have a better source of thrust than chemical fuels. The fantasy in _Salvage I_ was a chemical fuel that could beat the system: something they called “monohydrazine”. Now, hydrazine is a real compound, a pretty volatile (read, explosive) one at that, and is used for some kinds of rocket fuels IIRC. But you can’t lift a rocket made from a tanker truck and a cement mixer at a few feet per second per second with it. So they came up with “monohydrazine”, which was apparently a related compound – in one episode where they were pretending to offer the technology for sale to some bad guy, they mentioned offhandedly also selling them the secret process whereby he could turn regular hydrazine into monohydrazine. Something apparently made it both much more powerful and much more controllable – and that something was the writers’ imaginations. – Bob ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/48 "2001-03-01T23:57:26Z")
“Mr. Belvedere” sucked much ass. Bob Uecker is funny for about a milli-second. The kids were obnoxious. How it stayed on the air for 5 years is a miracle surpassed only by the success of “Full House” (aka “The Monkey Girl Show”). ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/49 "2001-03-02T04:53:11Z")
Ev’rybody knows in the second life We all come back sooner or later _…sing it with me …_ As anything from a pussycat To a man-eating alligator. Well, you all may think my story Is more fiction than it’s fact, But believe it or not my mother dear Decided she’d come back As a car– She’s my very own shi-in-ing star. A 1928 Porter, That’s my mother dear She helps me through Ev’rything I do And I’m so glad she’s here. My mother, the car– (BEEP, BEEP) My mother, the car. Starring Jerry Van Dyke. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/50 "2001-03-02T04:56:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maragold \* > \*\*“The New People” a post-apocalyptic half hour with hippies around 1969. Scared the cr@p out of me, though. When I mentioned it to a TV writer I worked with ten years ago, he said it was superficial bilge even a kid could see through. I would love to see a tape of it tofind out what scared me so. \*\* If this helps at all, [The New People](http://www.tvtome.com/servlets/ShowMainServlet/showid-74/) ---
**Author:** ![Elkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Elkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elkman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/51 "2001-03-02T05:06:31Z")
Scary thing is I still like most of the shows listed so far. To me the worst tripe of all time was Love Boat. Lame stories and unconvincing characters. How it lasted, I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/52 "2001-03-02T05:18:07Z")
**Love, American Style** A really lame anthology with three separate stories every week about how sexually repressed Americans are, and nobody ever got laid. I remember a teen-aged Kurt Russell taking his GF to a hotel room after the prom to Do the Deed, but of course they talked each other out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/53 "2001-03-02T06:36:34Z")
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the recent “Nightman.” It was about a jazz musician/blow-dried moron who could telepathically sense evil, and who had a special high-tech battle suit. What made it so bad? (Do you still need to ask?) 1.) “This symbol looks Celtic, or perhaps Egyptian. Or Atlantean?” Keep tryin’, man, you’ll get it sooner or later! 2.) (Nightman’s sidekick, hypothesising about why Nightman recently fell into a weird trance.) “Maybe you went into a state of nervonic sleep- you know, like a shark.” Let’s look at 2 in more detail: 2A. Could the writers really think of no buzzword less dorky-sounding than “nervonic”? 2B. Why would one’s first hypothesis be that Nightman has entered a state commonly found in sharks? 2C. “Nervonic sleep?” “You know, like a shark.” “Oh! _That_ nervonic sleep!” What, dear sir, makes you think that a jazz musician would know about nervonic sleep, but only if you jog his memory by first reminding him that it pertains to sharks? 1. Check out the Nightman Website for a FREE poorly-spelled Nightman comic! “SUDDENLY, Nightman is STRUCK by LIGHTENING!!!” After watching a couple of episodes, my friends and I had a bull session in which we predicted what sorts of episodes we might see in the future. We went through the whole list of hackneyed episode ideas: Nightman vs. Evil Nightman, Bad guy steals Nightman’s suit, Nightman vs. Jack the Ripper, etc. The next three episodes? Nightman vs. Evil Nightman, Bad Guy steals Nightman’s suit, and Nightman _and Manimal_ fight Jack the Ripper. What, I ask you, is the probability of that? -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/54 "2001-03-02T06:46:51Z")
the rousters manimal cop rock VEGA$ I forget the name of this one show that was on NBC… Nathan Lane, Dana Carvey and Mickey Rooney as college dorm roommates. enolancooper ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/55 "2001-03-02T07:53:58Z")
Check Us Out _if you’ve never heard of it consider yourself lucky, I think it was a spin-off of Small Wonder_ The other one I am thinking of…grrrrrr, the name escapes me entirely…Ann Gillian as a waitress or cocktail waitress…Busom Buddy’s style bad 80’s show…very bad 80’s show ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/56 "2001-03-02T08:25:48Z")
[The 100 Lives of Black Jack Savage](http://us.imdb.com/Plot?0101082), anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/57 "2001-03-02T12:04:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elkman \* > \*\*Scary thing is I still like most of the shows listed so far. To me the worst tripe of all time was Love Boat. Lame stories and unconvincing characters. How it lasted, I’ll never know. \*\* Even worse, **it’s back**! The New Love Boat (or whatever the hell it’s called), stars an overweight Robert Urich as the Captain. I’d tell you more about it, but I could only stand about a minute and a half of it before changing the channel. Come back, **Spenser for Hire** , all is forgiven! ---
**Author:** ![BobSchroeck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@BobSchroeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobSchroeck)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/58 "2001-03-02T13:56:56Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > [BThe other one I am thinking of…grrrrrr, the name escapes me entirely…Ann Gillian as a waitress or cocktail waitress…Busom Buddy’s style bad 80’s show…very bad 80’s show_\* _It’s A Living,_ aka _Making a Living._ How about _Blansky’s Beauties,_ while we’re on the topic? – Bob ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/59 "2001-03-02T14:25:58Z")
Originally posted byJuanitaTech > [@](#): > > That same year, CBS decided to stop torturing it’s viewing audience by ending the short-lived The Golden Palace. Don’t remember that show? It was a spin-off of The Golden Girls. That’s right, they opened a hotel. It lasted one season. It didn’t even have Bea Arthur, for cryin’ in the wind! Yeah, but it had Cheech Marin in it! I think he was the manager. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/60 "2001-03-02T14:42:52Z")
Thanks, **BobSchroeck** - much better physics explanation than I gave (about Salvage 1). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332.md?page=4)