# Worst television programs of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332 "2001-03-01T04:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/61 "2001-03-02T14:57:47Z")
The shows are soooo bad, I haven’t been able to leave UPN on long enough to figure out any of the names. Anyone want to contribute some UPN names? I can’t bear to even surf the net for some of the names. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/62 "2001-03-02T15:41:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BobSchroeck \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > > [BThe other one I am thinking of…grrrrrr, the name escapes me entirely…Ann Gillian as a waitress or cocktail waitress…Busom Buddy’s style bad 80’s show…very bad 80’s show_\* > > _It’s A Living,_ aka _Making a Living._ How about _Blansky’s Beauties,_ while we’re on the topic? > > – Bob \*\* I don’t remember Ann Jillian being in While we’re on the topic of Ann Jillian, lets hope everyone remembers [Jennifer Slept Here](http://members.tripod.com/~dspages/jsh.html) – Christalmighty, what a flaming turd that was. ---
**Author:** ![McKenna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@McKenna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McKenna)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/63 "2001-03-02T16:55:03Z")
Criminal misuse of Katey Sagal, who can be quite wonderful, in the mercifully cancelled **Tucker**. Amd Seth Green left Buffy for stuff like this?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/64 "2001-03-02T17:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by McKenna \* > **Criminal misuse of Katey Sagal, who can be quite wonderful, in the mercifully cancelled Tucker. Amd Seth Green left Buffy for stuff like this?** Oh yes…and wasn’t he in _Good and Evil_ with Teri Garr pre-Buffy? Another televisual gem, that one. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/65 "2001-03-02T19:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **[** Even worse, **it’s back**! The New Love Boat (or whatever the hell it’s called), stars an overweight Robert Urich as the Captain. I’d tell you more about it, but I could only stand about a minute and a half of it before changing the channel. Come back, **Spenser for Hire** , all is forgiven! \*\* [/QUOTE] OK, I have to ask–where are you seeing this? As far as I know, it was cancelled a while back; I was disappointed because I loved the cheesy goodness of all things Love Boat. Of course, I also loved the original Love Boat because it was just as cheesy. We used to play “The Love Boat Game,” where you’d watch a repeat and try to guess who the washed-up start du jour would be. My money was always on McLean Stevenson. ---
**Author:** ![Chance\_the\_Gardener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@Chance\_the\_Gardener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chance_the_Gardener)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/66 "2001-03-03T17:37:46Z")
**What’s Happenin’?** is the first thing that come to my mind when I try to think of the purest form of badness on television. I cringe when I think of this drek. I can still hear the theme song in my head, with those god-awful pseudo-white-funk bass downbeats. Awful. My runner up for bad TV nominee was mentioned earlier in this thread: **CHiPs** is simply terrible. It took vapidity to previously undiscovered levels. At least my grandmother liked it. **trose** —Though I’ve never seen it, I, too, know all the words to _My Mother the Car_. It could very well have been a horrible show (enough people say it was,) but its theme song is so well known that that’s got to be a testimony to… um… well, to _some_thing, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/67 "2001-03-04T00:42:48Z")
_The Secret Diary of Jules Pfiefer_, where Chi McBride (now the high school pricipal in _Boston Public_\_ played butler to a bumbling Abraham Lincoln. This was one of the reasons, until they got lucky with _Smackdown!_ why the Paramount Network was so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Jkayla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5fc32e/32.png) [@Jkayla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jkayla)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/68 "2001-03-04T01:47:45Z")
Agree massively with: New Love Boat, Lexx and Saved by the Bell How 'bout… VIP Wierd Science (the tv show) Cursed (or whatever it is called now) Titans (the latest attempt at a nightime soap) Oh and the show with Doogie Howser as a book editor last year…It really made an impression; I can’t even remember the name. There is another one that I am forgetting…I must’ve blocked it…I will think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/69 "2001-03-04T01:56:59Z")
What was the stink-bomb with Jm J. Bollock and Ted Knight? Ted drew “Cosmic Cow” and his daughters rented the downstairs room. I don’t know what Jm did, but it was baaaaad. “Too Close For Comfort”? ---
**Author:** ![mkmiller99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@mkmiller99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkmiller99)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/70 "2001-03-04T02:56:32Z")
How about Charles in Charge with Scott Baio and Willy Ames. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/71 "2001-03-04T03:53:48Z")
Ahh…Full House…my secret addiction. Full House is odd for me. I’ve seen every episode. All of them. Recently. Here’s the thing: I have no illusions about the total suckitude of the show. I don’t know why I watch it. In fact, any plot line that involves the damn Olsens sends me channel flipping (unless it’s one I haven’t seen in a few years). And yet, I watch. I don’t know what it is. It’s so unbelievably cheesy, with completely unfunny jokes, and basically the same plotline put into different situations. And yet, I watch. Maybe it’s because Lori Laughlin is pretty hot (when she isn’t dressed in rediculous clothes and 5x too much makeup). Maybe it’s because my head is messed up. Who knows. Jman - BTW: My vote for worst show ever: Mama’s Family. Damn I hate that show. ---
**Author:** ![tsunamisurfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@tsunamisurfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsunamisurfer)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/72 "2001-03-04T05:05:51Z")
The Jeffersons was an abomination–or simply a preview of hell. Welcome Back Kotter. Just typing the name nearly made me barf. **Is it just me, or was television in the late 70s-early 80s especially wretched?** ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/73 "2001-03-04T15:51:51Z")
I’ve also got to go with “Lexx”. It’s not just horrible, it’s hypnotically horrible. I saw it by accident one night, and was unable to change the channel. I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I couldn’t believe that it kept getting _worse_ as the episode progressed. But it did! I think the show actually reached absolute zero as I was watching it. I swore I’d gouge my eyeballs out rather than ever watch “Lexx” again, but then one of my friends started having a sort of “MST3K” style “Lexx” watching session every week. I’ve found that watching the show with others and mocking it relentlessly helps to ease the pain. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/74 "2001-03-04T17:47:31Z")
\ Okay, we’ve got Lexx, we’ve got Black Scorpion, and we’ve got all the depressing 80’s era sci-fi that I could personally think of. (Preposition, I know, but the alternative was ‘of which I could personally think’, and I believe we can agree nobody wants that . . . for.) However, I would be remiss for not pointing out two other Sci-Fi shows, whic to paraphrase Bill Walton are terr-rrible, simply terr-rrible. **Star Trek: Voyager** : Giant self-propelled predatory viruses the size of a mans upper body. A planet with a work shortage so severe and economically crippling that the only logical thing to do is erect a planetary force shield, kidnap passing starships, surgically alter their memories and put them to work monitoring reactor coils. Captain Proton. A shuttle that flies at Warp 10, with the slight disadantage that it turns you into a horny lizard. A spatial anomaly that twists the ship around making doors connect to different rooms. A spatial anomaly that twists the ship around _in time_ thereby making doors connect to different seasons. The ship getting ‘Quantum Split’ into two ships, having a fairly important crew member die only to have be replaced by his Quantum double with no further explanation offered either to the double or to the viewer. **Crossing Over with John Edwards** : Every time I see a commercial for this show, I hope that John Edwards will cross over on live television someday. JE: I’m hearing a name . . . . maybe with a ‘B’ Idiot: Is it Randy? JE: Yes, yes that’s it! ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/75 "2001-03-04T20:09:13Z")
First of all, I must defend MTV. 99% of MTV programming is commercialized beach-party crap (remember when they played music videos on MTV?), but there are two (count 'em, two) good shows on MTV. Celebrity Deathmatch (which I don’t even know for sure is on MTV anymore; I’ve seen it playing on UPN) is pretty good. And the other is Daria. Daria is a very well-written show (better writing than most live-action shows. Especially the ones in this thread.) My votes for worst shows ever: - **Anything** on Fox, other than the Sunday Night Lineup. (Sunday night on Fox is pure gold; Futurama, King of the Hill, Simpsons. :P"") Worlds Adjectiviest Noun, When Nouns Verb, and the worst one of all, Who Wants To Marry A Multimillionaire (I think John Stewart put it best; “Is that your final…shred of dignity?”) - Anything ending in “mon” and containing the letters “digi” or “poké” - Homeboyz in Outer Space. I forced myself to watch an episode of this to see if it was as bad as it looked. It was. - America’s Funniest Home Videos, of course. And Ammerica’s Funniest People. - Planet’s Funniest Animals. Yep. They actually have a show on animal planet that is America’s Funniest Home Videos (i.e. Bob Saget’s Lamest Moments) only devoted to animals. The host is incredibly annoying. I shudder when I think that somebody might actually be this guy’s roommate. I will admit, ometimes I will watch this show, but mute my TV so I don’t hear the idiotic announcer or the badly dubbed audience laugh track. It’s much more interesting (but certainly not funny) that way. ---
**Author:** ![nikjohns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@nikjohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikjohns)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/76 "2001-03-04T20:27:24Z")
I would not have believed this had I not seen it on “100 Worst TV Moments Of All Time”… **Heil Honey, I’m Home** A sitcom about… Hitler. _collective jaws drop_ A sitcom about Hitler as an early Homer Simpson character, living next door to a family of Jews. This was made in the 50s, and IIRC 6 episodes were made. One was shown. The creator still doesn’t think it was a bad concept… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/77 "2001-03-04T20:48:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \* > \*\*and we’ve got all the depressing 80’s era sci-fi that I could personally think of. \*\* But how could you leave out the venerable [Street Hawk](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088618)? (But it wasn’t that bad of a show, really.) My vote is for Lexx. Is there any plastic surgery/cosmetic procedure that woman _hasn’t_ had? I can barely even look at her without mentally going over the list: nosejob, boobjob, collagen lips, liposuction, hair dye… ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/78 "2001-03-04T21:19:06Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \*\*\* > \*\*My vote is for Lexx. Is there any plastic surgery/cosmetic procedure that woman _hasn’t_ had? I can barely even look at her without mentally going over the list: nosejob, boobjob, collagen lips, liposuction, hair dye… \*\* Well, she _did_ go through the loveslave conversion process. Talk about method acting! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/79 "2001-03-04T23:30:16Z")
A compilation of replies: > [@](#): > > Doogie Howser, MD > Small Wonder > Punky Brewster > Webster > Golden Girls > Golden Palace > Saved by the Bell > Alf > Mr. Belvedere > Charles in Charge > Designing Women Man, I _loved_ these shows. Loved them. Still do. I was a child of the early 80’s. I also loved _Perfect Strangers_ with Balki and Cousin Larry, _Family Ties_, _Snaggle Rock_, _The Cosby Show_, _A Different World_, and _Growing Pains_, which is without a doubt my most favorite show of all. The first person who bashes _Growing Pains_ will earn my eternal hatred and condemnation (but, since I liked Alf, that isn’t saying much). I’m willing to admit that _Small Wonder_ was pretty bad, but the others…what can I say? Doogie was the love of my life for two years. Then it was Zack (damn that bitch Kelly Kepowski!) I still watch Golden Girls on re-runs on Lifetime. In light of these disclosures, I would humbly like to submit Married…With Children and Jesse, the abominable Christina Applegate vehicle. Gah! ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332/80 "2001-03-05T02:32:01Z")
Anyone remember a Norman Lear syndicated fiasco circa 1977 about gender role reversal? It took place in an imaginary world where women were the CEOs, breadwinners, and sexual aggressors, while men were housekeepers and sex objects. Gary Sandy (later of WKRP) and I think Dixie Carter were in the very large and undistinguished cast. It was unspeakable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-television-programs-of-all-time/56332.md?page=5)