# Worst TNG episode ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 17, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414 "2010-10-17T05:34:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![tingbudong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tingbudong/32/520_2.png) [@tingbudong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tingbudong)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/201 "2010-10-20T17:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > One of the many great things about DS9. They actually had an admiral show up from time to time who wasn’t a complete nitwit Agreed. DS9 explored the layers of Starfleet, Federation and politics far better than the other series. From the lowly engineering crew on the night shift (Rom hangs out with them one episode), to shell-shocked Marines and up to the ultra secret Section 31 and other happenings at Starfleet Command. Maybe their budget allowed for more characters with lines, but that was what always bothered me about TNG…most of the time the Enterprise and their ‘senior staff’ seemed to exist in a vacuum…being the only tight circle of buddies able to solve the most pressing problems of the galaxy. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/202 "2010-10-20T17:29:58Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Heh…this reminded me of a fanfic I started writing way back in the late 90s, about an Enterprise ensign who heroically sacrificed his life to defend the last evacuees of an invaded Federation colony. He was beamed up at the moment that he took a phaser hit that vaporized his heart, and his consciousness merged with the ship’s circuitry and created a machine/human intelligence for the ship. After the first two segments were published on alt.star-trek.creative, someone criticized the heroic ensign as a Gary Stu, and I spent about ten posts protesting that. Then realized it was true and the SHIP ITSELF was about to become the Gary Stu, and dropped the story like a hot potato. I should probably post my own fics there. Across six stories, I have two or three Gary Stus and none of them save the day, or are ever in a position to save the day. I do describe a character that vaporizes her own heart, though. It’s a suicide following the massacre at Wolf 359, something I always thought got brushed aside a little too casually. Heck, the Marines still talk about the Lebanon barracks bombing, and Wolf 359 supposedly had about forty times as many casualties. Heck, it had almost triple the casualty count of September 11th, but in the Paul Bunyon universe of Star Trek, nothing counts unless thousands and thousands of people are dead, and even then, not for long. By the time _Enterprise_ got on the air, it’s not enough to have 11,000 casualties - you need _seven million_ for anyone to care and even then, once we find out the Xindi aren’t so bad after all, the characters just shrug it off and any lingering hatreds are treated as a personal character flaw. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/203 "2010-10-20T17:35:09Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Admittedly that was just a setup to show off her wheels, but still, I’d much rather have a half-as-big bunk on the wall. Her wheels? > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Ralphie, his finger up his nose. That one’s so bad, it’s good. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/204 "2010-10-20T17:43:24Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Her wheels? They’re wheel… and they’re spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/205 "2010-10-20T17:50:21Z")
Okay, is this it? (Urban Dictionary) > [@](#): > > 1. > > ``` > wheels > > ``` > > desciption of a female with a nice body and/or ass > > Playa 1: “Damn she fine!!” > > Playa 2: “Is she phat??” > > Playa 1: “Hol up lemme check the wheels.._looks_ She is OFFICIAL!” I don’t see why the bed would have to be visible from the corridor to show off Teri Hatcher’s body. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/206 "2010-10-20T17:58:34Z")
Woman, when passing construction site. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/207 "2010-10-20T18:10:05Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Her wheels? Legs. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/208 "2010-10-20T18:11:05Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Okay, is this it? (Urban Dictionary) > > I don’t see why the bed would have to be visible from the corridor to show off Teri Hatcher’s body. My point is that the bed was in a ridiculous position. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/209 "2010-10-20T19:40:35Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ll fanwank it. The translator works best when there is a one or two word equivalent for the word in question. Words like “knife,” “ship,” “weapon,” “run,” and “happy” work well. But for terms without such an equivalent, it will just let the original word come through. Thus if Picard is telling the Vulcan ambassador about his memories of winter vacations as a youth, the word _Christmas_ is not going to be translated into Vulcan, because there is obviously no Vulcan equivalent than can be anything but misleading. (The same may apply to winter.) > Admittedly the translator could try to handle _Christmas_ by saying something like “the holiday commemorating the mythical Jewish hero in whose honor the religion of Christianity was founded,” but there are obvious problems with doing it that way. > > In addition, the UT is programmed to ignore certain words even if they could be translated as in a single word. These include proper names and profanities. Take the proper name _Hannah_, which literally means “grace.” Assume the Klingonese word for grace is kil’Poq. If Picard is referring to the philosopher who spoke of the banality of evil, it’s not helpful to give the literal meaning of her name. Likewise, if he’s talking to a species that doesn’t marry, and insults someone by calling him a bastard, it’s best just to let the original word through. I’m not going to let this one go as this has been one of my biggest gripes with Trek ever. What you’ve said is fine for individual words, but there are scenes in which whole conversations are carried out in Klingon in front of other people who clearly can’t understand it because it’s in Klingon. In DS9 a Klingon insults Odo in his own language but Garrick understands them and makes a snide response, clearly annoying the Klingon because he didn’t want to be understood. Odo even says to Garrick “I didn’t know you spoke Klingon” - why would ANYONE need to learn to speak Klingon? You all have universal translators!!! Similarly there are times when Klingon words are used that have direct English equivalents, so it’s not a matter of there being no comparable word. Again - in DS9 when the Klingons invaded Cardassia the fleet was signalled to head out by the fleet commander sending out a signal, Dax says “Martok sent one word to the fleet: Encha” and everyone looks at Worf who translates it as “begin”. If encha can simply be translated as begin then why do you need a Klingon to translate that? Why can’t the UNIVERSAL BLOODY TRANSLATOR do it? It simply seems like the writers of the show liked the idea of Klingons having their own language and kept working it in despite the fact that each time they did so it served as a shrieking siren to the fact that NO OTHER ALIEN SPECIES IN THE SHOW DID THIS. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/210 "2010-10-20T19:49:36Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Similarly there are times when Klingon words are used that have direct English equivalents, so it’s not a matter of there being no comparable word. Again - in DS9 when the Klingons invaded Cardassia the fleet was signalled to head out by the fleet commander sending out a signal, Dax says “Martok sent one word to the fleet: Encha” and everyone looks at Worf who translates it as “begin”. If encha can simply be translated as begin then why do you need a Klingon to translate that? Why can’t the UNIVERSAL BLOODY TRANSLATOR do it? There’s a scene in one of the movies where Uhura is trying to speak Klingon, because the person on the other end of the comm would recognize the universal translator. But she’s making a bit of a hash of it. So why doesn’t she just speak into a translator, get it to repeat the phrase in Klingon, and then she can just mimic those sounds in her own voice? ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/211 "2010-10-20T19:56:13Z")
That scene was just another blatant case of “we’ve gone to the trouble of creating an actual working Klingon language and we’re damned well going to use it”. But you’re right, the crew pulling out text books to try and conjugate Klingon manually makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/212 "2010-10-20T19:58:48Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > That scene was just another blatant case of “we’ve gone to the trouble of creating an actual working Klingon language and we’re damned well going to use it”. > > But you’re right, the crew pulling out text books to try and conjugate Klingon manually makes no sense. I was trying to remember if they were using actual books. If they were, that makes even less sense. I thought everything was on those little plastic memory card things. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/213 "2010-10-20T20:00:16Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > I’m not going to let this one go as this has been one of my biggest gripes with Trek ever. > > What you’ve said is fine for individual words, but there are scenes in which whole conversations are carried out in Klingon in front of other people who clearly can’t understand it because it’s in Klingon. In DS9 a Klingon insults Odo in his own language but Garrick understands them and makes a snide response, clearly annoying the Klingon because he didn’t want to be understood. Odo even says to Garrick “I didn’t know you spoke Klingon” - why would ANYONE need to learn to speak Klingon? You all have universal translators!!! > > Similarly there are times when Klingon words are used that have direct English equivalents, so it’s not a matter of there being no comparable word. Again - in DS9 when the Klingons invaded Cardassia the fleet was signalled to head out by the fleet commander sending out a signal, Dax says “Martok sent one word to the fleet: Encha” and everyone looks at Worf who translates it as “begin”. If encha can simply be translated as begin then why do you need a Klingon to translate that? Why can’t the UNIVERSAL BLOODY TRANSLATOR do it? > > It simply seems like the writers of the show liked the idea of Klingons having their own language and kept working it in despite the fact that each time they did so it served as a shrieking siren to the fact that NO OTHER ALIEN SPECIES IN THE SHOW DID THIS. Oh, I won’t argue. I hate Trek’s inconsistency with this as well, just as I dislike fantasy stories in which characters go to an “alien” world in which everyone speaks English. The fanwank I used came from my own rules from writing such stories with a mechanical translator. I had a third rule as well – the idea that a given translator had to have its vocabulary programmed into it, and as a result archaic words might not come through. But that won’t work for (filmed) Trek, because their translators are magic. > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > There’s a scene in one of the movies where Uhura is trying to speak Klingon, because the person on the other end of the comm would recognize the universal translator. But she’s making a bit of a hash of it. So why doesn’t she just speak into a translator, get it to repeat the phrase in Klingon, and then she can just mimic those sounds in her own voice? I suppose the line got cut in the script, but in the novelization it’s explicit that the universal translator has been sabotaged to prevent just that. > [@jayjay](#): > > It makes even less sense when you realize that the communications officer of a Federation Starship not knowing Klingon, in that era, would be like the communications officer of a USNavy Aircraft Carrier not knowing Russian, in 1965. Add to that the fact that we meet several Klingons who speak fluent English but seem not to have a translator (this is in TNG) but none of the command staff seems to, and you’ve got some unfortunate implications about federation jingoism on your hands. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/214 "2010-10-20T20:00:16Z")
It makes even less sense when you realize that the communications officer of a Federation Starship not knowing Klingon, in that era, would be like the communications officer of a USNavy Aircraft Carrier not knowing Russian, in 1965. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/215 "2010-10-20T20:40:23Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I was trying to remember if they were using actual books. If they were, that makes even less sense. I thought everything was on those little plastic memory card things. Yes, in that gawdawful “comic” scene in _The Undiscovered Country_, they were looking at actual books on the Bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/216 "2010-10-20T20:59:22Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Yes, in that gawdawful “comic” scene in _The Undiscovered Country_, they were looking at actual books on the Bridge. And why is there a big pot on the stove, boiling a chicken or something? Were the guys who wrote this movie suddenly struck by the fear that the fan base was getting older and wouldn’t understand high-falutin’ technology like computers and food synthesizers and such, so they needed familiar low-tech items like books and pots so as not to angry up the blood? ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/217 "2010-10-20T21:16:13Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I liked Riker for the most part, but Frakes’ talents are wasted playing good guys. No, you want to see him play a master villain. The kind of guy who buys castles and has them air-lifted to New York City. > > Also, to continue the game: Scylla, facing the blimp in the night. Scylla, his goat well sexed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unpronounceable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9de0a6/32.png) [@Unpronounceable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unpronounceable)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/218 "2010-10-20T21:17:52Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I suppose the line got cut in the script, but in the novelization it’s explicit that the universal translator has been sabotaged to prevent just that. That…makes even less sense - how could the universal translator translate into Klingon, but be so obvious they can’t use it…but not be able to translate into Klingon? Did they need an actual Klingon in the room for it to work or something? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/219 "2010-10-20T21:20:04Z")
> [@Unpronounceable](#): > > That…makes even less sense - how could the universal translator translate into Klingon, but be so obvious they can’t use it…but not be able to translate into Klingon? Did they need an actual Klingon in the room for it to work or something? I mean that it wasn’t working AT ALL. That is, ordinarily they’d have been able to fake it using the UT. And of course no one ever thought, “Hey, we have about a dozen shuttlecraft down in the hanger, and they all have independent computer systems–let’s use one of those!” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414/220 "2010-10-21T00:07:57Z")
Apparently the actress who played Uhura, Nichelle Nichols, complained about that scene because she thought that an officer in Uhura’s position (and with her long career) would have been familiar with the language of Starfleet’s primary antagonist, but the director wanted to show books on the Enterprise (and why not? Is it any more or less realistic that photon torpedoes are manually loaded in the movies?) I don’t mind the books so much, but it would have helped if she seemed a BIT more familiar with the language. That said, having studied several foreign languages, you pretty much HAVE to be familiar with a language to make much use of a dictionary in a conversation without having some very long pauses in the dialog. But then, Joe Schmoe in the audience won’t know that. That said, the scene DOES give some potentially unfortunate implications about the Klingon empire: Maybe their language is diverse enough that its’ reasonable to expect a merchantman to have difficulty with whatever passes for “Standard” Klingon (kinda like how Cantonese and Shanghai-ese can be very VERY different from Mandarin Chinese). That, or it is entirely reasonable for Klingon military members to assume that members of their own merchant marine can’t speak their own language fluently (this could say something about Klingon merchantmen OR just the arrogance of Klingon warriors) As far as Klingon having words that don’t translate, there was an episode of TNG where a Romulan officer was trying to torque Worf off by using some very rude Klingon insults aimed at him (and probably his family). Riker then replied with some _Romulan_ insults back, basically pointing out how classless of the Romulan it was to do that, especially in public. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-tng-episode-ever/557414.md?page=12)