# Worst Valentines Gifts **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083 "2007-02-13T22:18:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/21 "2007-02-14T15:42:14Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] It was a good Valentine’s Day for those of us who worked with them, though. Because the boyfriend presented her with the gift in our breakroom and we all got to stand around in the hall outside and listen to the fallout. Better than theater! [/QUOTE] Oh dear. That’s hilarious! We don’t really do gifts either, and I’ve been wondering…do men actually buy women jewelry for Valentine’s Day, or is the TV lying to me again? Also, if they do buy them jewelry, are they insane?! ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/22 "2007-02-14T16:31:57Z")
> [@](#): > > …do men actually buy women jewelry for Valentine’s Day, or is the TV lying to me again? Also, if they do buy them jewelry, are they insane?! I have known women who got jewelry for V-day. I know a woman who expects her husband to do a full blow-out for each and every V-day – flowers delivered to her at work; dinner out at a nice (coat & tie required, nice) place; a gift of jewelry presented along with the champagne. The type of celebration I _might_ expect on a major anniversary. Every year. They’ve been together for 12 or 15 years and there would be hell to pay if even one element of this ‘tradition’ was dispensed with. She talks openly about how she had to “train” him to get it right. She also talks openly about how she hasn’t touched his dick with her lips since the day he put the wedding ring on her finger. So he doesn’t even get a Valentine’s Day blow job out of the deal (the V-day gift I am convinced most men would really prefer to a Bratz pencil cup). And, yes, I think he is insane. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/23 "2007-02-14T16:32:20Z")
_looks out window_ An ice storm…? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/24 "2007-02-14T16:34:27Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Pal of mine gave his GF a picture of himself in a heart shaped frame. She dumped him 2 days later [/QUOTE] Really? What’s wrong with that? I think a picture in a heart shaped frame would be a nice V-day gift. Romantic and traditional, actually. What was she expecting? ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/25 "2007-02-14T16:57:10Z")
I got a six-pack of beer once. I almost never drink. When I do drink, I do not drink beer. This is a facet of my personality that everyone who knows me is fully aware of. It wasn’t even good beer. It was Old Milwaukee Best. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/26 "2007-02-14T16:58:33Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] _looks out window_ An ice storm…? [/QUOTE] Ha! That’s what I’m getting too. But in exchange, I got a day off work,s o not bad at all. And there were flowers on the table even after telling him I don’t need anything. However, fresh bright flowers in the middle of February and during said ice storm is wonderful! ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/27 "2007-02-14T17:09:29Z")
For our first V-day together, NajaHusband (then NajaLongDistanceBoyfriend) sent me an email. I sent him some squid jerky. It must have worked out, we got married a couple years later 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/28 "2007-02-14T17:37:50Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] We don’t really do gifts either, and I’ve been wondering…do men actually buy women jewelry for Valentine’s Day, or is the TV lying to me again? Also, if they do buy them jewelry, are they insane?! [/QUOTE] My boyfriend and I were talking about that just the other day. He was feeling lucky because I couldn’t care less about today, and told me about some ex-girlfriends he had that demanded diamonds on Valentine’s day. Diamonds! For the most pointless holiday of the year! He said no, and wondered how a man would ever top that for her birthday. For presents I’ve gotten… well, I think I got a card once 😃 Suits me fine, since most years I forget it’s V-day 'til someone reminds me. ---
**Author:** ![AHoosierMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@AHoosierMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHoosierMama)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/29 "2007-02-14T20:38:15Z")
[QUOTE=Aangelica] It was Old Milwaukee Best. [/QUOTE] Must’ve been tryin’ to break up with 'ya. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/30 "2007-02-14T20:47:59Z")
Oh man. I just asked my fifteen-year-old daughter if she got any valentines today, and she said some boy gave her a Valentine pencil that he found on the ground. I couldn’t help cracking up at that one! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/31 "2007-02-14T21:20:21Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Do men actually buy women jewelry for Valentine’s Day, or is the TV lying to me again? Also, if they do buy them jewelry, are they insane?! [/QUOTE] I’ve received jewelry for V-Day quite a few times, actually - primarily from my most recent Ex, but also a couple of former ex-s too. Never diamonds though - I hate diamonds. Actually one year I got hair conditioner - that was pretty bad. I mean, it was the type that I use, but it just seemed odd. Like buying someone deodorant or something - weird. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/32 "2007-02-14T21:25:50Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Ha! That’s what I’m getting too. But in exchange, I got a day off work,s o not bad at all. And there were flowers on the table even after telling him I don’t need anything. However, fresh bright flowers in the middle of February and during said ice storm is wonderful! [/QUOTE] You are indeed lucky. I risked life & limb to get to this cold dank cube-farm and the most they gave us was a free slice of pizza! (Somebody, who shall remain soul-less, has been bitching about people telecommuting too much around here. :smack: God, I need a “beat em sensless with a Louisville Slugger” smilie…) I got my wife two cards, milk-chocolate almond ‘bark’, several pecan turtles, a fluffy white bear holding a box of chocolates that, when activated, dance and sing in their little feaux Russell Stover box. They are all set & waiting for her home. I truly wish I could get her flowers, but the cats eat them & get sick. _Hork…! __Hork…!__ Hork…!__Splaaat…!_ = Bad Valentines Day gift What do I want in return? For her to bring herself and my kids safely home & Stay there. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/33 "2007-02-14T21:34:02Z")
My husband has been traveling a lot recently for work. Too much, in fact and it has been a strain. Well, he was gone most of last week and weekend. Last night I told him I was a terrible wife since I had barely even thought about Valentine’s day (did I mention that while he was gone both kids were sick, had to go to the doctor and I ended up bringing one to a professional development meeting I had?) Anyway, he said he got the best gift this year. He gets to live. 🙂 (I did get him a card and am making a very nice dinner. Oh yeah- I stayed home with the kids on today’s snow day while he went to work. :dubious: ) ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/34 "2007-02-15T02:10:28Z")
**Drachillix** has done jewlery for my Valentine’s Day gifts some years, diamonds sometimes, although that’s more Christmas. Two years ago we went on a Mexican cruise starting on Valentine’s Day and I was floored by the heart-shaped diamond necklace he brought along, as if a cruise wasn’t enough…I’m wearing it now. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/35 "2007-02-15T02:16:08Z")
I once got a Cricket lighter. Yep, a 75 cent lighter. Not even the kind with the cellophane wrap that has some kind of picture on it. I think it was yellow. My favorite color is green… ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/36 "2007-02-15T02:21:27Z")
The diamond necklace isn’t the worst gift I’ve ever received. **Drachillx** also presented me with a plastic bucket of supermarket ‘chocolates’ for our 2nd Valentine’s Day. The first Valentine’s Day gift I received from him came 3 months after we started dating—a small ruby pendant–more than I expected from a new boyfriend and very much to my taste. The bucket’o’candy the next year were’nt candy I’d ever enjoy and although I wasn’t expecting jewlery, (I was wearing his engagment ring; the diamond dept. was more than covered) I wasn’t expecting something so not to my taste. The worst Valentine came from an ardent admirer the same Valentine’s Day I received the ruby----a man who’d been wooing me gave me a card and a freebie magazine—the kind you get from a doctor’s office; “Your Complimentary Issue”. It was in Spanish. I don’t speak or read Spanish. The would-be wooer did, though, so I guess that made it okay. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/37 "2007-02-15T02:22:53Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] I have known women who got jewelry for V-day. I know a woman who expects her husband to do a full blow-out for each and every V-day – flowers delivered to her at work; dinner out at a nice (coat & tie required, nice) place; a gift of jewelry presented along with the champagne. The type of celebration I _might_ expect on a major anniversary. Every year. They’ve been together for 12 or 15 years and there would be hell to pay if even one element of this ‘tradition’ was dispensed with. She talks openly about how she had to “train” him to get it right. She also talks openly about how she hasn’t touched his dick with her lips since the day he put the wedding ring on her finger. So he doesn’t even get a Valentine’s Day blow job out of the deal (the V-day gift I am convinced most men would really prefer to a Bratz pencil cup). And, yes, I think he is insane. [/QUOTE] Feel free to pass this [link](http://www.steakandbjday.com/) along. Only a month away! ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/38 "2007-02-15T02:50:04Z")
I know a girl who made her and her boyfriend matching singlets. She bought plain ones and decorated them with glitter and some cutesy saying like “Two Peas in a Pod” or “Soulmates 4Eva”. When I heard that she was contemplating getting a photo of the two of them printed on the back, something inside me shriveled and died. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/39 "2007-02-15T03:08:14Z")
[QUOTE=Kayeby] I know a girl who made her and her boyfriend matching singlets. She bought plain ones and decorated them with glitter and some cutesy saying like “Two Peas in a Pod” or “Soulmates 4Eva”. When I heard that she was contemplating getting a photo of the two of them printed on the back, something inside me shriveled and died. [/QUOTE] Oh, come on, I’ll bet their bedroom routine was _awesome_! “Form of… a _popsicle!_” “Shape of… a _bonobo!_” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083/40 "2007-02-15T11:33:43Z")
[QUOTE=According to Pliny] My friend got a Bratz doll pencil can with hearts on it from his girlfriend at work. Now what the hell does he do with it? If he puts it out front on his executive desk he looks like a nut job. He tried to get away with putting on a prominent shelf behind his desk and got grief from his girlfriend. [/QUOTE] He handled the situation wrong. He should have taken it from work, amd stopped at a store along the way and dumped it in an outdoor trash can. The next day he goes to work, and pretends that night or day when he sees the girlfriend it was stolen. He can’t do that if security cameras are present or he knows one person will get in trouble, for stealing it. Had he received the present at home, he could lose the item on the way to work. Dispose of the item, when he gets out to buy something on the way to work, and say it must have fallen out on the ground when he stopped for gasoline, or coffee. He’s screwed if she buys him a second one, because he will have to choose dignity or girlfriend. I’m sure this is an ego thing for the women that gives a guy a gift like this. She thinks “He’ll humiliate heimself for me, if he loves me.” She wouldn’t do it though, if she loved him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-valentines-gifts/392083.md?page=3)