# Worst way to be found dead? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253 "2003-05-14T18:17:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/1 "2003-05-14T18:17:35Z")
Notwithstanding the fact that you are dead and probably neither know nor care how you were found, or by whom… what is the worst way you can think of to be found dead? Mine would be on the toilet. In the middle of a bowel movement. At work. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/2 "2003-05-14T18:19:04Z")
…I meant for this to be in IMHO. Sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/3 "2003-05-14T18:39:51Z")
In bed dead of Autoerotic asphexeation (spelling?!?!?) while humping a Love Ewe (inflatable sheep) ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/4 "2003-05-14T18:42:13Z")
Great, now I see your location as “Right past the ewes”. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/5 "2003-05-14T18:43:25Z")
at the bottom of the mayonaisse jar… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/6 "2003-05-14T18:48:40Z")
I hear it’s with dirty underpants on. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/7 "2003-05-14T18:50:19Z")
I think that fellow who choked to death in a hotel bed while chewing the calluses off of his feet is in the running. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/8 "2003-05-14T18:55:26Z")
In a barn with your pants around your ankles. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/9 "2003-05-14T19:12:29Z")
Heh. My dad worked for an insurance company. There was an autoerotic claim that involved saran wrap and a fatal peanut butter blow job. Tragic. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/10 "2003-05-14T19:17:20Z")
Not another tragic, needless saran wrap peanut butter blow job related death . . . _When_ will they _learn?_ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/11 "2003-05-14T19:18:31Z")
I’d say on the toilet in mid-bowel… with a syringe in your arm. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/12 "2003-05-14T19:18:52Z")
I blame video games ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/13 "2003-05-14T19:24:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CRorex \* > \*_In bed dead of Autoerotic asphyxiation_ while humping a Love Ewe (inflatable sheep) \*\* And assuming the deceased is male, wearing women’s lingerie. \*Corrected spelling. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/14 "2003-05-14T19:27:17Z")
> [@](#): > > fatal peanut butter blow job 😕 “You got your cocklate in my peanut butter” “No, you got your peanut butter on my cocklate!” ---
**Author:** ![spinningplates](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7c8e57/32.png) [@spinningplates](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinningplates)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/15 "2003-05-14T19:28:15Z")
**Kalhoun** Buh huh? Saran wrap and peanut butter, _how_? Don’t leave me hanging, or is that part of it? On second thought, maybe I want the details of this left fuzzy… ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/16 "2003-05-14T19:29:51Z")
“Mine would be on the toilet. In the middle of a bowel movement. At work.” IIRC, Catherine the Great, Judy Garland, and Elvis were all found in this exact situation (though not at work). Which just goes to show: ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/17 "2003-05-14T19:41:18Z")
Straining to complete a bowel movement tends to raise one’s blood pressure. Thus, those that are weak-of-heart die in that circumstance more often that one might expect. In addition to all that’s been suggested, let’s add: With a somewhat sticky photograph of one’s mother in hand. Oh, and being found on the toilet in mid-movement wouldn’t be nearly as bad as being found dead atop a co-worker’s desk, mid-movement. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/18 "2003-05-14T20:00:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Kalhoun Buh huh? Saran wrap and peanut butter, how? Don’t leave me hanging, or is that part of it? On second thought, maybe I want the details of this left fuzzy… I’d guess some moron asked for a BJ and put some peanut butter _down there_ to make things more… uh… as an incentive. Then dopey puts Saran Wrap over his head as an autoerotic asphyxiation thing. A pretty dumb and embarrassing way to die. Props to his wife or whomever for not noticing he’d stopped breathing. I’d say dying while attacking a big bag of Cheetos would be a bad way to go. I also agree with Sengkelat that if you die during a bowel movement, being on the toilet is actually the _best_ place you can be. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/19 "2003-05-14T20:28:07Z")
Actually, the details ARE a bit fuzzy all these year later. I think the saran wrapped partner passed out and didn’t notice peanut butter guy was choking. But I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253/20 "2003-05-14T20:29:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Great, now I see your location as “Right past the ewes”. \*\* My goal in life is to share the horrifying mental images I have with the world. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-way-to-be-found-dead/175253.md?page=2)