Worst. Way. To die. Evar.

[cmkeller]

Maybe it wasn’t an accidental death. “Being eaten” seems to be a fetish with some degree of following in Germany*, and anyone who keeps that many reptiles and spiders around may have had more than pet-hood on his mind.

*a la Dave Barry - Being-eaten fetish stories from outside Germany = 0; being-eaten fetish stories from Germany = 1, hence, Germans are infinity percent more likely to have a being-eaten fetish than non-Germans!

[jjimm]

@tschild

The few articles mentioned a large number of insects/spiders who had to be recovered by animal rescue, but said spider bite was only a possibility, the corpse was not eaten, no bites were detected, and that the corpse was too far gone to do much toxicological tests.

Now that sounds like the British tabloid press: they don’t make shit up, they just “extrapolate”.

[Harmonious_Discord]

Wait until they rent the place out in a few months and the renter gets bitten by a cobra or something else that was in the heating ductwork. Do you think this is something they have to disclose to the next renter? I’ll bet it’s not on the books. I wouldn’t trust the place to be safe.

[Sailboat]

Here’s the dumbest sentence in the whole article:

She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.

Despite the sensationalism popular in the news, pit bulls are not generally regarded as human-aggressive (you can look it up…they used to be called “the nanny dog” around the turn of the century).

But never mind that. Aren’t, well, pit bulls the pit bulls of the animal world?

Sailboat

[Contrapuntal]

@jjimm

Hold on a tick: where do you get the date on that story? If it’s from the masthead of the site, that’s nothing to do with the story: it’s autogenerated. The actual story linked by the OP seems to be from the archive.

You’re right. I was going by the masthead. And the fact that the OP did not note that the story was over three years old.

[KGS]

It’s my understanding that The Sun is more analogous to the New York Post instead of the Enquirer. Is that a fair statement?

Also, this line:

She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.”

makes me think they should FedEx the surviving insects to Michael Vick.

[Anaamika]

@Sailboat

But never mind that. Aren’t, well, pit bulls the pit bulls of the animal world?

Sailboat

While I agree it’s a really stupid article and glares out from the middle of it, I think they mean “as opposed to the insect world or the reptile world.”

[jjimm]

@KGS

It’s my understanding that The Sun is more analogous to the New York Post instead of the Enquirer. Is that a fair statement?

The closest equivalent, I’d say, except way more obsessed with sex, somewhat lower journalistic standards, and treatment of the readership like they’re five years old (albeit with functional genitalia). It does sometimes have decent journalism, although written in a simplistic manner, and some simple political punditry, usually from the right wing.

Journo: “Would you say you’re angry about what happened?”
Subject: “A little.”
Journo: “Can I quote you on that?”
Subject: “Er… OK.”
Next day’s headline: MY FURY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED - a Sun exclusive

They also have tits on page three every day, and in other articles say things like:

“Denzel was an animal in bed. We did it up to five days a night in all manner of positions.” Because The Sun is a family newspaper we are unable to continue with these revelations.

Needless to say it’s the most popular paper in the entire UK. :rolleyes:

[MovieMogul]

@The Chao Goes Mu

Under no circumstances do the words “pet” and “spider” belong in the same sentence.

Except maybe, “Sorry, but I just stomped on your pet spider.”

So would this be a case of chamelon karma?

[jjimm]

ArchiveGuy, that joke skinks.

[Tripler]

@Hal Briston

If it were up to me:

1. Turn off all heat sources in the place.
2. Place a nice, toasty heating pad near the door. Every snake and lizard that comes over gets scooped up and lovingly placed in a safe, comfy new home. Every spider that comes near the door while were rescuing the snakes and lizards gets pounded with a sledgehammer.
3. Once all the snakes and lizards are out, burn the fucking place to the ground.

3a) . . . take off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Tripler
My “Ick Factor” has pegged at 7.2 on a 1 - 5 scale.

[Belrix]

I have to say I’m suspicious of the story, too. Tarantulas are ground-dwellers, aren’t they? Big cousins to trap door spiders? It wouldn’t build a bird-sized nest in the top of a room, would it?