# Would a monkey be a good home protection?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [November 7, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003 "2017-11-07T22:55:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/1 "2017-11-07T22:55:38Z")
My wife’s BFF has a monkey. She’s taken care of it for over ten years and he’s like a son to her.
Monk used to share her bed before she married. Hubby made the chimp move to the basement. 😉
It’s got me curious. Would a monkey be very protective of her.? For example a rapist that came into the bedroom. Would the monkey rip his limbs off?
I vaugely recall, from Nat Geo specials that apes form social groups and will defend them. Like primitive humans formed tribes for support and protection.
I’m not sure if a monkey would see a human as a tribe member.
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### Author:  [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/2 "2017-11-07T22:59:53Z")
> [@aceplace57](#):
>
> My wife’s BFF has a monkey. She’s taken care of it for over ten years and he’s like a son to her.
>
> He used to share her bed before she married. Hubby made the chimp move to the basement. 😉
>
> It’s got me curious. Would a monkey be very protective of her.? For example a rapist that came into the bedroom. Would the monkey rip his limbs off?
One word: [Travis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)).
Yes, Travis was a chimp, but you did not specify species or size.
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### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/3 "2017-11-07T23:08:49Z")
Yes, that’s the can of Whup-Ass that I was thinking of.
[https://goo.gl/images/14Zb4a](https://goo.gl/images/14Zb4a)
But, would an attack on a human make a chimp/monkey open up that can?
Travis attacked for no reason.
I guess it would be a territorial thing if the chimp thought of his owner as a member of the social group.
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### Author:  [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/4 "2017-11-07T23:09:45Z")
Another word, Moe: [Worst Chimpanzee Attack Story Ever - Moe the Chimp Owner Attacked](http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a5609/chimpanzee-attack-0409/)
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### Author:  [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/5 "2017-11-07T23:14:51Z")
Nitpick: Chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys.
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### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2017, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/6 "2017-11-07T23:27:07Z")
My wife’s friend has said she raised a monkey. I didn’t ask the species.
People often mix up chimp, monkey, and ape in informal conversation.
I used to want an organ grinders monkey. They don’t get very big. Organ grinders trained their monkeys to do tricks. Made good money busking.
That dream was during my single days. I know my wife would never allow it.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/7 "2017-11-08T00:12:47Z")
Yes she would.
Ask her. NOW!
You will thank us later.
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### Author:  [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/8 "2017-11-08T00:18:19Z")
The internet tells me that you could order a squirrel monkey from the backs of those magazines that sold X-ray specs and sea monkees. [Man's account of ordering a live monkey from comic book ad | Boing Boing](https://boingboing.net/2008/11/03/mans-account-of-orde.html) So people having monkees isn’t out of the question. Just a bad plan.
Dogs are common animals to use for guard and defense. They can be big, they have sharp teeth, and they have millennia of co-evolution with humans that has bred out their random aggression.
Monkeys and small apes can have sharp teeth too. And hands like ours and … I dunno, cute antics, I guess. But we have’t bred out their random, territorial aggression. I know you all want one. But its still a bad plan.
Heck, just last week here on the SDMB, I found out that one of the Gombe chimps, Frodo, killed and ate a human toddler. Dammit Jane Goodall, I may never enjoy the LOTR again.
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### Author:  [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/9 "2017-11-08T00:35:28Z")
If the chimp/monkey/primate got kicked out of the bed (of ten years) and banished to the basement, he/she made need some therapy.
I know I would.
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### Author:  [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/10 "2017-11-08T00:42:12Z")
Hey, two words: Trunk monkey.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx6WB5YJia8)
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### Author:  [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/11 "2017-11-08T00:43:26Z")
Are we talking Sea Monkeys, or…?
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/12 "2017-11-08T00:50:32Z")
**aceplace** , you should check your local laws. Ownership of a monkey is legal in Arkansas, but you should check your city and county for any restrictions. The state of Arizona passed a law in 2015 outlawing the ownership of any primate. \*
- Actually, the law says non-human primates, but ownership of human primates has been illegal since 1863. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/13 "2017-11-08T00:58:37Z")
> [@Arkcon](#):
>
> So people having monkees isn’t out of the question. Just a bad plan.
I think it depends. Mickey Dolenz looked like he could probably handle himself but I wouldn’t count on Davey Jones in a real fight. Plus he died 5 years ago…
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### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/14 "2017-11-08T01:12:10Z")
I’m not interested in adopting a monkey.
I was just curious if this lady had a simian protector during her single days.
Perhaps even better more intimidating than a Doberman.
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/15 "2017-11-08T01:16:20Z")
This sounds like an awesome opportunity for a start-up: **Simian Security Services**. Hire 'em out to protect peoples houses–a step up from mere guard dogs. _“When it comes to home security, we don’t monkey around!”_ You could avoid any pesky monkey/chimp ownership laws by classifying them as private contractors.
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### Author:  [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/16 "2017-11-08T02:05:15Z")
> [@blondebear](#):
>
> This sounds like an awesome opportunity for a start-up: **Simian Security Services**. Hire 'em out to protect peoples houses–a step up from mere guard dogs. _“When it comes to home security, we don’t monkey around!”_ You could avoid any pesky monkey/chimp ownership laws by classifying them as private contractors.
Exactly.
Be the first in your neighborhood to have one.
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### Author:  [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/17 "2017-11-08T02:17:03Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#):
>
> Another word, Moe: [Worst Chimpanzee Attack Story Ever - Moe the Chimp Owner Attacked](http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a5609/chimpanzee-attack-0409/)
Awful story, but I had to read it thru. I don’t think a primate would be a good home protector - in the story the following is mentioned while the attack was occurring on his owner, regarding Moe:
_He was sitting in the corner of his cage, frozen, seemingly stunned._
Perhaps the outward signs of affection and a long relationship would lend to the thinking that an animal, any animal, would jump into action to defend his beloved human owner (or parent, or whatever the parlance is), but not in this case.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/18 "2017-11-08T02:17:51Z")
> [@aceplace57](#):
>
> It’s got me curious. Would a monkey be very protective of her.? For example a rapist that came into the bedroom. Would the monkey rip his limbs off?
H.A. Rey supposedly burned the manuscript for Curious George and the Violent Rapist, after commenting, “what was I thinking?” Rumors persist, though.
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### Author:  [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/19 "2017-11-08T02:27:07Z")
Poor monkey being alone all night !
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### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2017, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/20 "2017-11-08T03:27:48Z")
> [@snowthx](#):
>
> Awful story, but I had to read it thru. I don’t think a primate would be a good home protector - in the story the following is mentioned while the attack was occurring on his owner, regarding Moe:
>
> _He was sitting in the corner of his cage, frozen, seemingly stunned._
>
> Perhaps the outward signs of affection and a long relationship would lend to the thinking that an animal, any animal, would jump into action to defend his beloved human owner (or parent, or whatever the parlance is), but not in this case.
Apparently apes don’t form the same protective attachment as dogs.
It was just something that I had wondered about.
I am aware that many owners of monkeys and chimps have to give them up after the animal gets older. Michael Jackson gave up Bubbles to a wildlife center. Probably after it showed signs of aggression. IIRC Bubbles was gone long before Michael’s kids were born.
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