# Would a monkey be a good home protection? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 7, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003 "2017-11-07T22:55:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2017, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/41 "2017-11-12T18:25:36Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > If you’re looking for animal home security, I have to ask whether you have a yard or not. If yes, a small flock of geese are great deterrents. Oddly, geese can freak out people who wouldn’t be deterred by a dog. But are geese friendly to their owners? I thought they were all-around dicks to everybody. I say get a honey badger. They’re fearless and have a skunk-like odor attack that will deter any bad guys. But their real strength is their resourcefulness and independence. They are nearly impossible to keep penned up. By the time you’ve built an escape-proof enclosure for one, no bad guys are going to be able to get in anyway so you can just sell the honey badger. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/42 "2017-11-12T23:46:09Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > But are geese friendly to their owners? I thought they were all-around dicks to everybody. Last year my gf’s goose (Guzman) died. He was 30. He would try to kill anyone who wandered over by “his” pond, except for my gf. She could cuddle him. Me, he tried to kill. Whenever I’d weed whack around the pond, she’d have to keep him occupied, otherwise I’d end up with bruised legs from his bites. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/43 "2017-11-13T01:23:25Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > But are geese friendly to their owners? I thought they were all-around dicks to everybody. > > I say get a honey badger. They’re fearless and have a skunk-like odor attack that will deter any bad guys. But their real strength is their resourcefulness and independence. They are nearly impossible to keep penned up. By the time you’ve built an escape-proof enclosure for one, no bad guys are going to be able to get in anyway so you can just sell the honey badger. The crazy nastyass honey badger. Spoilered - NSFW. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&app=desktop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&app=desktop) All wildlife documentaries should be narrated by Randall. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/44 "2017-11-13T09:56:21Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > out in public **pan** -handling with a half-trained primate. I saw what you did there. _troglodytes_ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/45 "2017-11-13T17:50:14Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > But are geese friendly to their owners? I thought they were all-around dicks to everybody. . . . . If you get them as babies they’ll be used to the household members that are there all the time. If you incubate and hatch them, they’ll imprint on the first person (or cat, or moving milk bottle) that they see. ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003/46 "2017-11-13T20:05:15Z")
The constitution guarantees the right to bear apes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-monkey-be-a-good-home-protection/801003.md?page=2)