# Would a television series centered on The Vatican stand a chance? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755 "2005-04-11T06:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Faith\_is\_Good](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Faith\_is\_Good](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faith_is_Good)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/1 "2005-04-11T06:21:11Z")
I’m thinking of sort of a West Wing type of drama centered not so much around the Pope as the upper echelons of Vatican Power. Maybe, you could even have the series take place over a very long period of time using a plot “technique” where a character who has immortality (maybe that guy who supposedly stabbed Jesus and must now walk the Earth for all eternity) serves as a secret advisor to Popes. In this way you could have some really dramatic historical backdrops from the sacking of Rome to the Inquisition and the Reformation. Kind of a Sci-Fi/ West Wing/ Historical Drama. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/2 "2005-04-11T06:51:23Z")
The show might suffer from a lack of female characters if it appears on American TV. And explaining how everyone speaks English. A lot of stuff the Vatican does is probably not very cinematic. “Dammit, Cardinal Smith, I want that encyclical on my desk in two hours!” ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/3 "2005-04-11T06:57:15Z")
Needs just four words to sell this concept to FOX. “Executive Producer Jack Chick.” On the other hand, the HoYay would make HBO’s OZ look like a gangster rap video. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/4 "2005-04-11T07:03:19Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > The show might suffer from a lack of female characters if it appears on American TV. You could have a few nuns running around. Or the main characters could have family members that are in the area. Or, if the makers aren’t afraid of a little contraversy, I imagine priests do occasionaly have love interests, even those at the Vatican. > [@](#): > > A lot of stuff the Vatican does is probably not very cinematic. A lot of stuff that happens in hospitals isn’t very dramatic either, but the med-dramas seem to do O.K. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/5 "2005-04-11T12:28:32Z")
Every single episode must have a scene set in a newsroom, such as the following: “Henderson! I needed that report an hour ago. Why don’t I have it yet? This needed to be out yesterday! “ “But sir, what about the effect it will have on the state of the world if Catholics take the advice to heart?” “You’ve better think about the effect it will have if you lose your job!” Alternate version: “You need to reralize the effect it will have on the world if it isn’t released.!” Scenes from the show “Popeman: TAS” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/6 "2005-04-15T02:17:45Z")
Maybe if you made it a comedy. Like some screw up accidentally gets elected pope and wacky hijinks ensue! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/7 "2005-04-15T02:27:51Z")
The Diary of Desmond Poper. The wacky adventures of a servant in service to Pope Pius XII. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/8 "2005-04-15T02:42:10Z")
Warning, the below entry is TMI. Thus, I have put it in white ink. I don’t think the world is ready for a black pope. However, how about an [egotistical heslut?](http://www.leasticoulddo.com/) That will turn around the image of the church. However, if you want to go with the current, child abusing view of the church, you could take a hint from Wolfian’s referring to Kevin Smith’s work, and have Pope Brodie. Whoo-hooo! Now that other people posted, I’m no longer the last post. Whoo– Oh, wait a minute! ---
**Author:** ![bradministrator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@bradministrator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bradministrator)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/9 "2005-04-15T02:54:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Maybe if you made it a comedy. Like some screw up accidentally gets elected pope and wacky hijinks ensue! Pope Ralph! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/10 "2005-04-15T03:19:50Z")
> [@bradministrator](#): > > Pope Ralph! Even funnier… Pope Moishe! ---
**Author:** ![Faith\_is\_Good](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Faith\_is\_Good](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faith_is_Good)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/11 "2005-04-15T04:07:27Z")
Maybe we could have our central character battle The Highlander or one of the evil immortals if ratings started to slip. Come to think of it I can see even now that this series would only stand a chance of endurance on a network like USA, or FX. The numbers which network TV demands are so high that a series must almost by definition be somewhat mainstream. Even The X-Files probably didn’t have numbers strong enough to have endured on ABC/CBS or NBC. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/12 "2005-04-15T05:00:42Z")
“The thrilling lives of the Swiss Guard: Adventure, Danger, _Romanche_” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/13 "2005-04-15T12:57:08Z")
I _love_ all these ideas for comedies. Especially: > [@Askia](#): > > Needs just four words to sell this concept to FOX. “Executive Producer Jack Chick.” HAW HAW!!! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/14 "2005-04-15T13:12:49Z")
Vatican, Vatican, Does whatever a Pope can… ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/15 "2005-04-15T13:54:50Z")
What if the Pope was a masked vigilante and battled crime at night while everyone thought he was asleep? “In pace requiescat, muthafucka.” Or maybe you could work in the immortal angle by making the Jesuits all vampires. Then you could have the Pope chosen by the College of Cardinals for his mad martial arts skillz and it’s his job to hunt down and destroy the blood sucking Jesuits. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/16 "2005-04-15T13:59:53Z")
Also starring Jessica Alba as Sr. Martina! ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/17 "2005-04-15T14:14:24Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Even funnier… > > Pope Moishe! Cardinal [Jean-Marie Lustiger](http://www.caritas.org.au/newsroom/2001/media_020801.htm), the Archbishop of Paris, was born in Paris to Polish-Jewish immigrants. Oy! Vat laffs ensue! ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/18 "2005-04-15T14:16:11Z")
The world needs a crimefighting pope. He could shoot bad guys, then administer last rites to them. “Bless me father, for I am about to sin. \” ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/19 "2005-04-15T16:15:17Z")
“Your Holiness?” “Yes, what is it, Cardinal Percy? If it’s about the Vatican press spokesman, I told you I want him replaced; he’s about as useful as a Swiss Guard’s pike in a telephone booth, and just as big a stiff.” “No, it’s Monseignor Baldrick.” “Oh God, what is it this time? Has he been caught fingering the nun’s wimples again?” “Worse than that, Your Holiness. The low-bid painter he contracted to restore the Sistine Chapel roof has finished, and…” “And, Percy?” “And he gave it two coats of beige latex.” From Blackadder V: _The Papal Years_ ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755/20 "2005-04-15T16:44:29Z")
**Teen-Pope.** The touching and hilarious exploits of the boy who was made Pope. Planned episodes; “Rosarium Virginis Mariae” - confusion arises after Teen-Pope falls out with his big sister and excommunicates her big fat ass. “Papal Infallibility” - Teen-Pope takes on the insurance companies after a joy-ride in the newly souped-up Popemobile goes wrong. “Immaculate Conception” - Teen-Pope gets caught with condoms in his pockets when the nuns come to do the laundry! Will his pal Cardinal Vince own up to owning them? “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti” - Teen-Pope decides to do Mass in rap after Snoop Dogg visits the Papal High School. “Give Us This Day Our Daily McBread” - Teen-Pope skips communion in favour of hanging out with the gang at McDonalds. “Turin Shroud” - Teen-Pope is grounded after creating the world’s largest reefer. Like, it was only a sheet, dude. “Last Rites” - Is it the end for Teen-Pope after his crucifix nose piercing turns septic? Only God knows for sure! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-television-series-centered-on-the-vatican-stand-a-chance/298755.md?page=2)