# Would a vagina really pickle a cucumber? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 20, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775 "2010-10-20T14:17:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/21 "2010-10-20T19:05:20Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > [I suppose he was a rather curious sort.](http://www.liketelevision.com/liketelevision/images/lowrez/killmockingbird215.jpg) I LOLed ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/22 "2010-10-20T20:55:25Z")
To give a slightly more serious answer… Pickling only works when the amount of acid/salt/sugar is relatively high compared to the product being pickled. When you’re sticking a cucumber in a jar of water, there is a lot of acid/salt/sugar. The cucumber dilutes that out somewhat, but there just isn’t enough water in the cucumber to make a significant difference. People who re-use pickling liquid always add a little extra vinegar or salt to make sure they don’t over-dilute. Because there’s not a cup of acidic liquid in the typical vagina, the water content of the cucumber would be really quite significant. It’d be like doing your pickling in a teaspoon of vinegar. The cucumber’s moisture would more or less neutralize the tiny amount of acid, and its sugars would make it a playground for yeast and/or bacteria. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/23 "2010-10-20T21:04:09Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Brine: water saturated or nearly saturated with salt, is not naturally found within the vagina, any more than bay leaves or mustard seeds are. I’m still looking for my horse and cart. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/24 "2010-10-20T21:17:24Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > What would happen if it was done in real life? Pain, suffering, and interestingly colored discharge. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/25 "2010-10-20T21:22:04Z")
I would think it would work if a person is a real sourpuss. _flees_ ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/26 "2010-10-20T21:49:51Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Am I the only one thinking “time for an experiment”? **Una** better run while she still can. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/27 "2010-10-20T22:56:18Z")
Patty Piper packed a peck of pickled Peters… ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/28 "2010-10-21T03:05:05Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > To give a slightly more serious answer… > > Pickling only works when the amount of acid/salt/sugar is relatively high compared to the product being pickled. When you’re sticking a cucumber in a jar of water, there is a lot of acid/salt/sugar. The cucumber dilutes that out somewhat, but there just isn’t enough water in the cucumber to make a significant difference. People who re-use pickling liquid always add a little extra vinegar or salt to make sure they don’t over-dilute. > > Because there’s not a cup of acidic liquid in the typical vagina, the water content of the cucumber would be really quite significant. It’d be like doing your pickling in a teaspoon of vinegar. The cucumber’s moisture would more or less neutralize the tiny amount of acid, and its sugars would make it a playground for yeast and/or bacteria. There’s not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/29 "2010-10-21T22:24:50Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > There’s not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber. Uh huh… Just promise me you **won’t** tell me how that turns out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/30 "2010-10-22T03:25:11Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > There’s not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber. You know what they say: “It’s not the size of the cucumber . . . .” ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/31 "2010-10-22T03:47:09Z")
According to a brief look at the internet, cucumbers are best pickled at temperatures in the 70-75 degree range, and vaginas tend to be considerably warmer than that, so I imagine that could interfere with the pickling process. And since the body tends to basically shut down at body temperatures considerably higher than 75 degrees, I imagine if you had a vagina at that temperature, it would not be producing the typical secretions. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/32 "2010-10-22T04:08:38Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Getting a Rabbi to certify it as Kosher would be interesting… Maybe if she’s Jewish? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/33 "2010-10-22T04:16:20Z")
I don’t know the answer to the OP’s question. The closest I’ve personally seen is a vagina shooting a banana across the room. It did not seem pickled. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/34 "2010-10-22T04:42:39Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I don’t know the answer to the OP’s question. The closest I’ve personally seen is a vagina shooting a banana across the room. It did not seem pickled. But were _you_ pickled? Maybe there’s spooky pickling-at-a-distance going on here! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775/35 "2010-10-22T04:48:06Z")
I’d rather not say. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-a-vagina-really-pickle-a-cucumber/557775.md?page=1)