# Would Chimp Milk Be Better for Us Than Cow Milk? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 9, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791 "2006-10-09T08:31:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/1 "2006-10-09T08:31:25Z")
We’re a lot closer related to chimps than we are to cows, so in theory, it should be better for us. Of course, I have no idea how we’d milk the chimp. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/2 "2006-10-09T13:21:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course, I have no idea how we’d milk the chimp. Which is undoubtedly a big part of the problem. I suspect the chimps wouldn’t sit still for it, either. My understanding is that you _can_ milk certain species (the Mongols supposedly had experts who could milk horses, although I don’t know how they did it), it isn’t easy in most cases. Despite what you may think, breasts or udders aren’t big sacks o’ milk. Aside from a small reserve to get the baby going, most of the milk is in the glands, and production has to be stimulated and is ongoing. I suspect that cows and goats have been bred to have excess. easily milked capacity. So to milk chimps you’d probably want to engage in a long breeding process to give you docile chimps with large milk capacity. I don’t think people have had chimps ariound long enough to do this, even if they had the impetus to do so. I think it’d be a pretty hard sell today, anyway. (“Kids! Try Chimp milk!”) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/3 "2006-10-09T13:45:36Z")
\*\*The New SDMB! All breastmilk, all the time! \*\* More about the milking thing… Primates are just poorly designed for milking machines. This includes humans. Most women can’t express anywhere near the milk their babies can get out by nursing. The problem is the shape and size. An udder makes a good shape to go into a milker. Suction and/or pressure can then be applied to basically “wring” the milk out of the glands. With the lack of an udder, a machine needs to be held in place by hand, and can’t get at the ducts deep in the breast or chest wall. The second problem, of course, is that our babies don’t grow all that fast (despite what it feels like when you’re buying all new clothes every few months!), so we don’t make a whole ton of milk. Cows, goats, sheep and even horses grow very quickly, and need a large quantity of milk to do it - so there’s quite a bit for us to take, even back when we still let them nurse their own babies as well. One cow can make enough milk for a dozen humans every day - a chimp might make enough for one, and then only if you didn’t let her infant drink any of it. Not very cost effective. Finally, I don’t see the FDA, USDA or anyone else letting you sell UNpasteurized chimp milk, and pasteurizing milk kills not only the bacteria in it, but the antibodies in it. Assuming chimp antibodies are at all useful for humans, the antibodies are breastmilk’s best claim to fame right now (the nutrient percentage we’ve gotten very, very close to), so that “plus” would be wiped out right away. The other possible strength of breastfeeding, the variance throughout the feed and the day in the make-up of the milk, and the changes dependant on what the mother has eaten lately, are likely to be either eliminated or viewed as disadvantages for a product - you want a consistent product, not one that’s watery and needs to be given in the morning and one that’s fatty for bedtime and one that’s got extra protein and calcium for growth spurts and one that’s got a few molecules of shrimp to acclimate the baby’s immune system to shrimp without causing an allergic reaction and one that tastes faintly of cheese so that the baby likes cheese in eight months… Formula is still probably better nutritionally, definitely cheaper and more readily available and has a far fewer marketing problems. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/4 "2006-10-09T15:09:58Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Finally, I don’t see the FDA, USDA or anyone else letting you sell UNpasteurized chimp milk, and pasteurizing milk kills not only the bacteria in it, but the antibodies in it. [/QUOTE] This is an article of faith for the anti-milk propaganda squad, but the medical evidence for it is more equivocal. [Rotaviral antibodies in cow’s milk. by J G Lecce and M W King](http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1320312) > [@](#): > > Antibodies to rotavirus were found in cow’s milk at a creamery prior to but not after pasteurization. Rotaviral antibodies were detected in one out of eight brands of milk bought at the market–perhaps indicating inadequate pasteurization for this brand. These results support the proposition that, at least in part, unheated milk is superior to heated milk because unheated milk contains antibody to an ubiquitous enteropathogen like rotavirus. But… [The Pro’s and Con’s of Pasteurizing Colostrum](http://www.saanendoah.com/colostrumpast.html) > [@](#): > > The researchers observed a 12.3% reduction in antibody concentration after pasteurization. However,even though this was a significant decrease, pasteurization did not damage enough antibodies to lessen the passive transfer of immunities. and… [Antibody to human rotavirus in cow’s milk.](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=2983202&query_hl=7&itool=pubmed_docsum) > [@](#): > > Both raw and pasteurized milk contained detectable levels of IgG1 antibody directed at rotavirus. The anti-milk sites make the pasteurization destroys antibodies claim indiscriminately and usually without sourcing. At worst, there may be a lessening of antibodies from pasteurization but not a complete elimination. Personally, I discount every single word in anti-milk sites unless absolutely proven otherwise. That allows me to discount every single word in anti-milk sites. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/5 "2006-10-09T15:36:30Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] Personally, I discount every single word in anti-milk sites unless absolutely proven otherwise. That allows me to discount every single word in anti-milk sites. [/QUOTE] Interesting. Thanks for the cites. My information came not from anti-milk sites, but from a Pharm D. who works in NICU (who also happens to be my dad) and the nurses and doctors in my daughter’s NICU. They all agreed that banked breastmilk is probably not terribly better than formula on that level because “the antibodies are mostly destroyed by the pasteurization and storage process”. But I will forward your links to those I am still in touch with and see if they’re compelling enough to make them change their recommendations. Thanks again! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/6 "2006-10-09T16:41:55Z")
not to hijack but last week I was in the United Arab Emirates where I had camel milk for breakfast. It was not bad, I liked it. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/7 "2006-10-09T20:27:48Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] We’re a lot closer related to chimps than we are to cows, so in theory, it should be better for us. [/quote] Better from a nutritional standpoint, perhaps, but potentially much worse from a disease standpoint. [The most common variant of HIV is thought to have come from chimpanzees](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS#Origin_of_HIV), and HIV is transmissible through breast milk. The similarity between humans and chimpanzees would make it likely that other diseases could be transmitted as well. > [@](#): > > Of course, I have no idea how we’d milk the chimp. [That would be a non-trivial problem…](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html) ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/8 "2006-10-09T21:11:43Z")
I have to make “milk the chimp” into a saying, like “jump the shark.” It stands for something that sounds good in theory but difficult in practice like: “Yeah, migrating to that new software seemed smart, but in the end we were just milking the chimp.” ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/9 "2006-10-09T21:23:06Z")
Specifically, milking the chimp yields disappointing results for a lot of effort. OK, done now. Sorry for the hijack. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/10 "2006-10-09T21:26:09Z")
Wow, two posts to say a little thing like that? Sounds like you’re really milking the chimp with this one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/11 "2006-10-09T21:35:14Z")
FWIW, I can think of three possible killer apps for chimp’s milk ice cream: 1. banana splits 2. Haagen-Dazs’ “Bananas Foster” 3. Ben & Jerry’s “Chunky Monkey” But who’s game for a taste test? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/12 "2006-10-09T21:47:49Z")
Isn’t it interesting that it creeps so many of out to think of drinking chimp milk, but few people give a second thougt to drinking cow milk? Clutural norms… BTW, I like “milk the chimp”, too, and expect to see it all over the SDMB from now on! ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/13 "2006-10-09T21:52:28Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Wow, two posts to say a little thing like that? Sounds like you’re really milking the chimp with this one. 😃 [/QUOTE] See? It works!!! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/14 "2006-10-09T22:05:17Z")
[Yep.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7853284&postcount=384) Am I the first one to use it outside this thread? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/15 "2006-10-09T22:08:15Z")
[QUOTE=John Mace] BTW, I like “milk the chimp”, too, and expect to see it all over the SDMB from now on! [/QUOTE] SDMB hell, I’m going to try to release it into the wild. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/16 "2006-10-10T09:08:49Z")
Well, hell, let’s see here, I’ve been Pitted, been warned by a Mod, been flirted with, been to a couple of Dopefests, and now have apparently spawned a catch phrase. The only thing left is to have **Cecil** answer one of my questions, and I’ll have done just about everything a Doper can do here. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/17 "2006-10-10T13:05:43Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] SDMB hell, I’m going to try to release it into the wild. [/QUOTE] Me too! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-chimp-milk-be-better-for-us-than-cow-milk/375791/18 "2006-10-10T13:30:22Z")
Speaking of cow’s milk, I wonder who was the first guy to discover cow’s milk, and more importantly, what the hell was he doing under that cow in the first place.