# Would it be funny if I named my puppy **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 17, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265 "2001-04-17T08:06:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pessor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pessor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pessor)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/1 "2001-04-17T08:06:44Z")
I recently won the 51th% shareholding position to name our first dog. I don’t want to taint the whole thing, but dang… Boner. I say (and a few hundred dictionaries of a few hundred different languages would assumingly concur), that a ‘Boner’ is literally, “one who bones”, specifically, the capitalization of the first letter denotes a profession. Well dang twice, a retriever that will get PAID to do the boning! From a fashion point-of-view, I say it’s time to phase the word ‘boner’ from the taboo list and put it to good use. I mean, how did we ever graduate the word B\*\*\*\* (jeepers, I still can’t even say it in public) to mean ‘the female dog’? My vote is to call all male dogs “BONER”, meaning ‘the male dog’. I was thinking of starting with my own, being a boy dog and all. Can I do this? * * * “…and then the bitches chased the boners around in the parking lot outside the fairgrounds that hot, steamy summer night. The bitches could be relentless but my boner kept them all ready to lay down. He always seems to find the heat. He’s the only boner that I’ve ever had and I love him.” - DoggieStyle Magazine * * * ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/2 "2001-04-17T09:49:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Pessor \* > **I mean, how did we ever graduate the word B** _\* (jeepers, I still can’t even say it in public) to mean ‘the female dog’?\*\* I believe the use of the word “bitch” to refer to a female dog predates the use of the same for a woman. I’m sure someone will be by to correct me if I am wrong. For your other question? I wouldn’t find it amusing, and I don’t think that it’s something that could easily come into commone use for the meaning you describe. I think that people would be reluctant to use the word in polite company, because of the previous negative connotations. You do hear “bitch” being used in it’s original meaning, just like you occasionally hear “gay” used to mean happy, not homosexual. “Boner” though? I would never be able to call a male dog that with a straight face. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/3 "2001-04-17T09:54:06Z")
Anytime you pick a name for a dog, imagine yourself standing outside and yelling for him/her. You really want your neighbors to hear you outside early in the morning, yelling, “Boner!”, hmmm? ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/4 "2001-04-17T11:03:43Z")
Name him Askem. Whenever anyone asks you what his name is, reply, “Askem.” ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/5 "2001-04-17T12:31:32Z")
FTR, “bitch” for “female dog” is from the 12th century. > **[Dictionary by Merriam-Webster: America's most-trusted online dictionary](https://www.merriam-webster.com/)** > > The dictionary by Merriam-Webster is America's most trusted online dictionary for English word definitions, meanings, and pronunciation. #wordsmatter > [@](#): > > Main Entry: 1bitch > Pronunciation: 'bich > Function: noun > Etymology: Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce > Date: before 12th century > 1 : the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals > 2 a : a lewd or immoral woman b : a malicious, spiteful, or domineering woman – sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse > 3 : something that is highly objectionable or unpleasant > 4 : COMPLAINT Can you name your dog “Boner”? Depends on who’s holding that other 49% of shareholding stock. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/6 "2001-04-17T13:31:05Z")
I would have posted sooner, but I never expected this thread to last this long in GQ. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pessor \* > Can I do this? Of course you can. You can do anything you want. But in addition to the proposed “standing outside calling his name” scenario, ask yourself if you really want to be called in as a named co-defendant in some veterinary assistant’s sexual harrassment suit against your vet. “Yes, your honor, and in addition to that, Dr. Hibbert forced me to deal with Mr. Pessor, who insisted on calling his dog ‘Boner’ around me and saying things like ‘Was my Boner good?’ and ‘Would you like my ‘Boner’ up on the table’?” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/7 "2001-04-17T13:49:19Z")
Working at a dog registry, I’d have to say you’d have a hard time getting papers on a dog with that name. It’s not that we object to you calling your dog whatever you want, it’s just that in case he wins a dog show we don’t really want to have to announce “GRCH Boner Wins Coveted Yearly Hunting Retriever Competition.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-be-funny-if-i-named-my-puppy/62265/8 "2001-04-17T21:09:17Z")
> [@](#): > > I would have posted sooner, but I never expected this thread to last this long in GQ Your wait is over, **KneadToKnow**.