# Would it bother you if a gay friend sees you (or your wife/parnter) breastfeed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952 "2011-06-10T04:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/21 "2011-06-10T13:38:22Z")
Bouncing boobies, people are arguing over women breastfeeding their baby in front of other people? When women started doing this in public, some were arrested for “indecent exposure.” As one ignoramus said "If you let people breastfeed in public, you have to let them have sex in public.😕 It’s a natural function that has nothing to do with sex. Grow up, people. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/22 "2011-06-10T13:57:12Z")
I am very shy about my body and I don’t like to expose myself to female friends, much less male friends. But, back in my breastfeeding days, I used a recieving blanket or other item to keep covered up, so it really didn’t matter what gender anyone else in the room was - nobody could see my delicious boobies anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/23 "2011-06-10T14:02:57Z")
It would bother my wife to have just about _anyone_ outside the household watch her nurse a baby. She’s just very self-conscious in general. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/24 "2011-06-10T14:08:32Z")
Male here- wouldn’t bother me and it didn’t when my wife was nursing. She nursed in public and in more private settings with groups of friends frequently, and neither of us were fazed by it. Even if not nursing, we’re both pretty nonplussed by occasional nudity (ours or others’). ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/25 "2011-06-10T14:09:02Z")
Would it bother me? No, and when my wife was nursing it didn’t. The fastest way to desexualize a boob is to latch a baby onto it. She could openly breastfeed wherever she wanted for all I cared. If anyone gave her crap they could talk to me about it. It did bother \*her \*a bit at first to nurse in front of anyone but me. But after a couple of months she decided that the convenience of being able to just nurse our daughter outweighed her own desire to try to drape some sort of cover up on her and she got a lot less modest. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/26 "2011-06-10T14:18:43Z")
I’m female, and it would absolutely bother me, but I’d never bare my breast in front of him normally. More power to those who have no qualms about it, but I just can’t see my sense of modesty changing so drastically. Anyway it’s moot because I will never be breastfeeding a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/27 "2011-06-10T15:10:35Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > :smack: > > Well would it bother you or would it bother you? > > The second one should have been I’m male and it wouldn’t bother me. [Mod mod]Is fixed now.[/Mod mod] ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/28 "2011-06-10T15:21:49Z")
I’m female (without kids) and am sort of offended to think that your wife thinks I want to watch her breastfeed but if I were a male I’d be spared the view. Yes I realize I’m the one with the problem 'n stuff. Whee. ---
**Author:** ![RoniaBorkason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9dc877/32.png) [@RoniaBorkason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoniaBorkason)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/29 "2011-06-10T16:19:57Z")
I’m both modest and body shy, and I breastfeed in public. Merely _incidentally viewing_ my parts is totally OK - its _watching_ that would be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/30 "2011-06-10T16:43:29Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > The fastest way to desexualize a boob is to latch a baby onto it. That’s actually the second fastest way. First fastest is to attach a breast pump to it. I didn’t ever think about the sexual orientation of others when determining whether or not it would be comfortable to nurse in their presence. I nursed in front of a lesbian friend and I’m pretty certain she wasn’t thinking horny thoughts about the process. For some reason, I did avoid nursing in front of my father and my father-in-law. That just seemed weird to me. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/31 "2011-06-10T17:00:57Z")
The first time I visited my wife’s family (we were just dating), her sister said “I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable” and started breast-feeding in front of me. Her husband was also there. She was discreet about it and draped a little cloth over her breast and the baby so I didn’t really see anything (of course I wasn’t trying to). It didn’t seem to make anyone uncomfortable, myself included. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/32 "2011-06-10T17:07:35Z")
I’m male and chose ‘it would bother me.’ I have no justification. It’d just be an emotional reaction. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/33 "2011-06-10T17:23:56Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’m female, and it would absolutely bother me, but I’d never bare my breast in front of him normally. More power to those who have no qualms about it, but I just can’t see my sense of modesty changing so drastically. > > Anyway it’s moot because I will never be breastfeeding a baby. There’d be no need for you to bare your breast to breastfeed. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/34 "2011-06-10T17:27:45Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > There’d be no need for you to bare your breast to breastfeed. **SciFiSam** speaks the truth. It seems counter-intuitive, but really, the baby’s head is obscuring most of the breast, and your shirt or blouse is going to cover up the rest, even without a blanket or cover-up. And if you’re really self-conscious, you can use a blanket or cover-up too. When I was breastfeeding, I had the experience on more than one occasion of nursing while seated next to a friend, and then having them react in surprise when I de-latched the baby, because they hadn’t realized I was feeding; they’d thought I was just sitting there holding the baby. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/35 "2011-06-10T17:28:14Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > There’d be no need for you to bare your breast to breastfeed. Maybe, but it would still bother me. ETA: Yes, some of you can apparently breastfeed without flashing everyone, and that’s good. I always think of the two people I have seen breastfeed most often and both of them exposed at least one breast completely and sometimes both. I swear, I never said a thing, and they didn’t seem to notice my discomfiture, for they kept doing it, but I can’t help that it makes me uncomfortable to see a breast I normally wouldn’t see. But then breastfeeding raises no motherly instinct in me and I am not particularly enamored of babies, so I don’t have that to soften it I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/36 "2011-06-10T17:30:46Z")
Not that I’m female, but I don’t understand what the person being gay has to do with it? It’s either a privacy issue for someone or it’s not. Are they under the bizarre impression that hetersosexual men will be so aroused by the sight of her breastfeeding that they will be unable to control themselves? And that gay men, therefore, will not? I assure you, no normal person sees it in a sexual manner, so their sexual preferences are irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/37 "2011-06-10T17:32:07Z")
It wouldn’t bother me if a straight friend saw it. So what? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/38 "2011-06-10T17:33:19Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > There’d be no need for you to bare your breast to breastfeed. Well, in the case that my wife’s breast is not uncovered, I change my vote. I understand you don’t have to bare a breast to breastfeed, but I thought the question was predicated on it being bared, and something that would bother you if a heterosexual male was looking. Otherwise the question is uninteresting. I thought the point was about it being a gay guy. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/39 "2011-06-10T17:36:19Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > Not that I’m female, but I don’t understand what the person being gay has to do with it? It’s either a privacy issue for someone or it’s not. > > Are they under the bizarre impression that hetersosexual men will be so aroused by the sight of her breastfeeding that they will be unable to control themselves? And that gay men, therefore, will not? I assure you, no normal person sees it in a sexual manner, so their sexual preferences are irrelevant. There is some middle ground between “no sexual reaction whatsoever” and “so aroused they can’t control themselves”. I mean, I tend to agree with you that breastfeeding is not at all sexual, but if a woman didn’t want a heterosexual man to see her breastfeeding, she might just be concerned that he would see her in a sexual light, not that he would actually attempt to overpower her. You’ve made it sound like anyone not wanting to breastfeed in front of the opposite sex is hysterically afraid of rape: it could be just a generalized discomfort with sexual boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952/40 "2011-06-10T17:36:32Z")
This actually made me think of men who don’t want to shower with gay men. It’s often decried as homophobia, but women probably don’t want to shower with men (er…you know what I mean), right? Personally, I think breastfeeding is RARELY done discreetly in public, so I kind of applaud your wife here. btw, some men do get turned on by breastfeeding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-a-gay-friend-sees-you-or-your-wife-parnter-breastfeed/584952.md?page=3)