# Would It Bother You If Nobody Attends Your Funeral? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919 "2011-10-07T17:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/41 "2011-10-08T18:47:16Z")
My end will be Ragnarök, so I sort of have other concerns about it … ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/42 "2011-10-08T18:58:22Z")
> [@zipperjj](#): > > i’ve been to so many funerals in my life. People better show up to repay the favor! > > (and not the dead people whose funerals i attended, but their living relatives to which i was doing the favor) > > (unless the dead people want to show up too. That’d be the ultimate gesture.) BRAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS! I just want to be cremated and my ashes spread somewhere. No memorial service. My living relatives are spread all over the country. I have few friends here. Don’t make a big deal out of my dying. We all have to go sometime. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/43 "2011-10-09T00:31:58Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I plan to sprinkle my own ashes in a small but dignified natural setting, and it doesn’t really matter if lots of people attend or not. Now THAT I would go to… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/44 "2011-10-09T00:45:43Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If I was aware that nobody was attending my funeral, you’re damn right I’d be upset! > “Hellllluppp! I’m still alive!! My ghod-let me out of heeerrree!!!” And no one would hear your cries for help because no one is there. So that when you finally do die a slow, horrific death you will be quite bothered that nobody attended your funeral. I’d be upset. [Who’d see me pop out of my casket yelling, “Gotcha Ya!”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80870) if no one was there? ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/45 "2011-10-09T01:36:59Z")
I would be upset if anyone _did_ attend my funeral, because that would mean that there was a funeral to attend. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/46 "2011-10-09T02:06:27Z")
I don’t want one and am considering donating my body to science or something similar. Once I’m gone, I don’t give a flip. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/47 "2011-10-09T02:27:58Z")
If I were to die today, I doubt there would be more than 10 people in attendance. I’ve made my peace with that fact and have told my family to just toss me out to the coyotes. I don’t think they’ll do it, but I know I won’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/48 "2011-10-09T02:47:38Z")
Yes. I will never live it down. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/49 "2011-10-09T20:01:26Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I plan to sprinkle my own ashes in a small but dignified natural setting, and it doesn’t really matter if lots of people attend or not. I like the idea of sprinkling one’s own ashes at one’s own funeral. I have just GOT to find a way to make that work! ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/50 "2011-10-09T22:20:50Z")
It is actually my intention that no-one will come to my ‘funeral’ and, indeed, that it would be impossible for anyone to do so. My will contains instructions for my body to be disposed of as cheaply and simply as is legally possible, with the BHA (British Humanist Association) overseeing most of the practical details as they seem to have the process all worked out. I am leaving specific instructions that there is to be no service or ceremony of any kind. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/51 "2011-10-09T22:40:17Z")
There are two ideas in this thread that together seem to comprise nearly the totality of people’s opinion on the subject of funerals: that funerals are for the living, and that no one better have a funeral for _me_, just dump the body in the trash. (People tend to hold one or the other, since they are mutually exclusive–unless you want your survivors to be made unhappy!) I think both are bullshit. Most people have desires for what will happen after they die. Whether it’s the happiness of their children or their name on a building or anything else. It makes most of us happy in advance, while we are still alive, to believe that our wishes will be carried out after our death. Well I don’t have any children and I can’t afford my name on a building, but dammit, I want a funeral! To hell with what my family and friends want! I want them rending their clothes and gnashing their teeth! I want women to jump on my funeral pyre in horror at the thought of never being touched by me again! I want the earth itself to shudder at the loss! Apre moi le deluge! And cake. Cake would be nice. Not something from Safeway, something classy. Everyone likes cake. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/52 "2011-10-09T23:52:23Z")
If they don’t come to my funeral… I am not going to their’s. ---
**Author:** ![lynne-42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lynne-42/32/3138_2.png) [@lynne-42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynne-42)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/53 "2011-10-10T02:54:03Z")
Another vote for the ‘no funeral’ brigade. Money can be far better spent on the living. Neither of my parents had funerals and I have specified the same for me. My parents are best remembered for living, not dying. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/54 "2011-10-10T04:05:43Z")
> [@lynne-42](#): > > Another vote for the ‘no funeral’ brigade. Money can be far better spent on the living. Neither of my parents had funerals and I have specified the same for me. My parents are best remembered for living, not dying. Sounds like an Onion horoscope: TAURUS: You’d rather be remembered for the way you lived, not the way you died, but the spectacular events of next Wednesday will make your death memorable for generations to come. ---
**Author:** ![lynne-42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lynne-42/32/3138_2.png) [@lynne-42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynne-42)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/55 "2011-10-10T06:40:06Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Sounds like an Onion horoscope: > > TAURUS: You’d rather be remembered for the way you lived, not the way you died, but the spectacular events of next Wednesday will make your death memorable for generations to come. Love it! I do cold readings - apparently psychic readings which aren’t psychic. I will use this line in my next reading and see how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/56 "2011-10-10T16:10:26Z")
Would you feel bad if nobody visits your grave? When I was a kid, my family was big on visiting the ancestral graves. That ended a long time ago-I haven’t been to my grandparent’s graves in ages. Yet, in my walks through a local cemetary, some people visit grave like crazy-leaving flowers, pumpkins, balloons, all kinds of stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919/57 "2011-10-12T21:43:36Z")
Why should I care? #1, I’m dead, and #2, I never had any friends anyway. I don’t expect to even have a funeral. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-if-nobody-attends-your-funeral/598919.md?page=2)