# Would it bother you to date someone who had the same surname as you?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2012, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020 "2012-06-04T11:06:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/1 "2012-06-04T11:06:22Z")
Well, would it?
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/2 "2012-06-04T11:14:09Z")
Assuming that I was single, yes, it would, if it was my birth name. I’m pretty sure that I’m related to all of the Bodonis in America. The ones in my age group would be my first cousins…which is far too closely related for dating, IMO.
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### Author:  [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/3 "2012-06-04T11:53:26Z")
I would just think it was kind of a neat coincidence, the same as if we had the same birthday. And then if we got married I wouldn’t have to decide if I wanted to change my name or not.
If you know you’re not related to the person, I don’t know why it would bother anybody.
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### Author:  [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/4 "2012-06-04T11:56:34Z")
My maiden name was extremely rare, dating someone with the same name would definitely be out of the question. If my name was Jones or something, though, I’d be OK with it assuming we were sure we weren’t closely related. Voted other.
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### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/5 "2012-06-04T11:59:42Z")
> [@Blackberry](#):
>
> I would just think it was kind of a neat coincidence, the same as if we had the same birthday. And then if we got married I wouldn’t have to decide if I wanted to change my name or not.
>
> If you know you’re not related to the person, I don’t know why it would bother anybody.
Well, for a start it gives everyone the opportunity to joke about how you’re soooo going to marry him when you go on the first date, as I found out last week 😉
I think it would bother me if a guy shared my maiden name, even if I knew logically he was no relation of mine and didn’t show up on the family tree, it would still be likely that we shared a great-great-great-etc-grandad at some point in the past.
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### Author:  [@ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryan)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/6 "2012-06-04T12:03:08Z")
My last name is fairly common. I’ve known a fair number of people with the same name to whom I’m not remotely related. Some have been women I was attracted to.
It would not bother me.
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/7 "2012-06-04T12:10:49Z")
I have an INSANELY common surname. Common in at least 2 different nationalities!
I have yet to actually date someone with it, but it would rather significantly reduce the potential dating pool if I eliminated them as a class. _laughs_
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/8 "2012-06-04T12:12:08Z")
My answer is kind of the opposite of **ryan** ’s. My last name (or at least my family’s spelling of it) is rare to the point that I’ve never met anyone to whom I wasn’t related who spelled it the same way I do. If I met a woman with the exact same last name as me, it would take a while to convince me we weren’t related in some way.
Yeah, it would bother me a little.
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/9 "2012-06-04T12:20:33Z")
No. My wife even had the same surname as one of my ancestors. It’s an unusual name, so it’s possible we are distantly related.
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/10 "2012-06-04T12:28:28Z")
Through the wonders of the Internet, I now know that there is a branch of my family in Argentina who spell my surname the same way as my cousins do. They are descended from my grandfather’s brother Nick, who went on to South America instead of jumping ship in the US.
So everyone I can locate in the world with my surname is at most a third cousin so far as I can determine.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/11 "2012-06-04T12:32:39Z")
Sometimes people ask me whether I’m related to someone with my same lastname.
Standard answer: “yes. Now give me details and I’ll tell you in what degree.”
There’s a branch of the family which separated in the 17th century, but dating someone from my branch would be waaaaaay too close for local cultural mores.
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### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/12 "2012-06-04T13:08:44Z")
I know I haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning because my first thought when I read the OP was “Hey! Mr. Athena and I have the same surname!” :smack:
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/13 "2012-06-04T13:19:11Z")
> [@Athena](#):
>
> I know I haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning because my first thought when I read the OP was “Hey! Mr. Athena and I have the same surname!” :smack:
Teehee.
Naw, it wouldn’t bother me. It’s my first name that is uncommon. My last name is pretty standard. In fact, the idea that it might be incest never crossed my mind. Is it really that common not to know your cousins?
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### Author:  [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/14 "2012-06-04T13:21:55Z")
> [@Renee](#):
>
> My maiden name was extremely rare, dating someone with the same name would definitely be out of the question. If my name was Jones or something, though, I’d be OK with it assuming we were sure we weren’t closely related. Voted other.
My maiden name also was extremely rare, but after I had determined that we were not related to any significant degree, it wouldn’t bother me. I would have found it interesting.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/15 "2012-06-04T13:51:48Z")
No, because it would mean I was dating an Indian guy, which i don’t do! 🙂 Seriously, though, probably not - it’s too weird.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/16 "2012-06-04T14:08:40Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#):
>
> Assuming that I was single, yes, it would, if it was my birth name. I’m pretty sure that I’m related to all of the Bodonis in America. The ones in my age group would be my first cousins…which is far too closely related for dating, IMO.
Yeah, this. There are less than 2500 people in the world with my last name, so odds are too good we’d be related in some way.
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/17 "2012-06-04T14:17:47Z")
I’d be surprised (since I have a rare surname), but not bothered.
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### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/18 "2012-06-04T14:54:43Z")
I actually HAVE dated someone with the same last name. Didn’t last long, but didnt bug me, I have a very common last name.
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### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/19 "2012-06-04T14:58:34Z")
It would be out of the ordinary but most definitely not a deal-breaker. Highly unimportant.
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/20 "2012-06-04T15:02:08Z")
One of my close friends dated someone with a variant of her last name for waaaay too long (not because of the name, but because he was a jerk).
I probably wouldn’t have a problem with it. Dating someone with the same or similar first name would throw me off more.
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