# Would it bother you to date someone who had the same surname as you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 4, 2012, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020 "2012-06-04T11:06:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/41 "2012-06-04T21:16:23Z")
No. My dad is adopted, so my last name has nothing to do with my heritage on a genetic level. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/42 "2012-06-04T21:30:48Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > My last name is not exactly common but not rare. One site I saw had it outside of the top 300. But thats still a ton of people not related to me. And thats not counting the alternate spellings. It wouldn’t bother me at all. > > One thing I found freaky was a guy I worked with named Chris. He married a woman named Chris. I’ve know both a Chris/Chris and Pat/Pat couple. Both of them found it amusing during introductions. OTOH I never forgot their names and I’m TERRIBLE with names! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/43 "2012-06-04T21:38:59Z")
As near as I’ve been able to figure, there are exactly two families in the U.S. with my surname. One is descended from my grandparents, the other isn’t related to us at all. It would be an amazing coincidence if any of us ever even MET someone with the same name who wasn’t related. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/44 "2012-06-04T23:18:15Z")
It wouldn’t bother me, my surname is really common, almost as common as Smith. It pops up a lot in fiction when they want a generic surname, that isn’t as obviously generic as Smith. HOWEVER: There once was a time (pre Kevbabe) when I was on vacation in a different city, was chatting up this pretty woman and hitting it off fairly well. Then she happened to mention her last name…same as mine. And though I had never met her before, I knew of her as she was my dad’s cousin’s widow. (My dad’s uncle was nearly the same age as him, and additionally the cousin and widow had a May/December thing) That was pretty weird. Though if we HAD dated it probably wouldn’t have caused the amount of family scandal as when the uncle’s widow (yes same uncle) married my other great uncle (brother of the deceased). ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/45 "2012-06-04T23:49:49Z")
My last name is as common as dirt, so I’m used to it. I went on one date with a woman who had the same surname _and_ the female version of my first name. Come to think of it, my _wife_ has the same surname as me, now. Weeeeird. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/46 "2012-06-04T23:55:36Z")
It makes sense not to date close relatives. Why should a name make any difference at all unless you know it’s a close relative? It just sounds like neurosis to me. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/47 "2012-06-05T01:39:36Z")
I think it would greatly amuse me (as long as she _wasn’t_ an actual relative). ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/48 "2012-06-05T01:58:45Z")
I have a fairly uncommon name but I answered NO _without_ taking incest into account. I thought no incest was a _given._ The question didn’t say anything about family relations, geez. Y’all are kinda icky sometimes 😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/49 "2012-06-05T02:12:10Z")
I have a very common last name. It wouldn’t bother me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/50 "2012-06-05T02:19:43Z")
I kind of need to make a distinction between my name now (my ex’s last name, but it’s been mine for the vast majority of my life so far) and my birth name. Since I have a longlost half brother anybody in the right age range is going to get questioned as to parentage, much less if they have the same last name as my birth name! Now my birth name is not common, but my current name is extremely uncommon. Extremely. Really. I wouldn’t worry about finding someone with that name as long as it isn’t any of my brothers-in-law. ((((Shudder))))) I knew a woman who proudly introduced herself as Ann Smith Smith. She said “I was a Smith and I married a Smith.” ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/51 "2012-06-05T07:51:18Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Is it really that common not to know your cousins? I know my first cousins, but any more distant than that, and I would pass them on the street as total strangers. > [@Jamicat](#): > > I’m from Virginia, so that explains my answer. 😃 > > I haven’t met anyone with it though…yet. I salute you **Jamicat** , for keeping the Dope a weirder place 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/52 "2012-06-05T09:08:47Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > I knew a woman who proudly introduced herself as Ann Smith Smith. She said “I was a Smith and I married a Smith.” Does anyone know if the First Lady of a few years back introduced herself as Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt? Does anyone know how Franklin and Eleanor R. were related? From something I read somewhere once, I think one has to trace their lineages back some 4 or 5 generations to reach their common ancestor. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/53 "2012-06-05T16:46:20Z")
No. But I will say that other people’s comments would be a problem. My surname is pretty unusual in the US. In High school I dated a guy with similar first and last names, and I can attest to how much the teasing got to me. I’ve matured a bit since then though, and wouldn’t negate the possibility because of that. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/54 "2012-06-05T18:18:36Z")
Done it. Fairly uncommon Italian name. We could trace no roots that were common though. Then I married a girl who had that girl’s same first name and everyone later thought it was her. Think about that for a minute. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/55 "2012-06-05T21:34:25Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I’ve know both a Chris/Chris and Pat/Pat couple. Both of them found it amusing during introductions. > > OTOH I never forgot their names and I’m TERRIBLE with names! I dated a guy that I shared a given name with. It was odd at first, although he preferred being called “Michael” and I like “Mike.” The only time I’m called Michael I’m usually in some sort of trouble or have pissed someone off, so whenever an acquaintance saw us in public and would shout out , “Hey! Michael!” There was a reflexive internal tensing up, but I got over it pretty quickly. He was good in bed, but neither of us called out any names while in flagrante delicto… ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/56 "2012-06-05T21:53:08Z")
My name’s common enough that I wouldn’t be bothered. It would be odd, but not a negative. On the plus side, if we got married I could pretend to be progressive and claim I took her surname. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/57 "2012-06-05T21:59:42Z")
Does he have a job? I’d date him if he had the same first name, too. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/58 "2012-06-05T22:52:37Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > Does he have a job? I’d date him if he had the same first name, too. A very good job actually, but he’s in California and I’m in Colorado… Plus my husband would never let me marry him. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/59 "2012-06-06T00:40:38Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Does anyone know how Franklin and Eleanor R. were related? Based on Wikipedia’s entry for Eleanor, either fifth cousin, once removed, or sixth cousin. [ > [@](#): > > That same year Roosevelt met her father’s fifth cousin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and was overwhelmed when the 20-year-old dashing Harvard University student demonstrated affection for her. ]([Eleanor Roosevelt - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_Roosevelt#Marriage_and_family_life)) (It doesn’t mention what degree of removal Franklin has from Elliot, but it seems most likely to be same-generation, or once removed.) ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020/60 "2012-06-06T03:45:46Z")
I have a very common surname (well, common here in the United States, and common in Ireland). So yes, I’d date someone with the same name, or would have, when I was single. I have a vague memory of going on a couple of dates with a girl with the same last name in my first year of college. We actually met because of our shared name. Might have been standing on line to register for a class, or something. Can’t remember. One set of my grandparents (not the ones from whom I got my name) actually did have the same last name prior to their marriage. No one has ever looked too deeply into how closely they were related. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-bother-you-to-date-someone-who-had-the-same-surname-as-you/624020.md?page=4)