# Would it kill you to say "bye"? (lame - but short) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 26, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618 "2004-08-26T16:21:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/21 "2004-08-28T15:22:44Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > …they worry you are staying on out of politeness listening to them blather, and don’t want to impose, but don’t want to end the call, because it’s still interesting, and if you agree you could chat some more. > > _{snip}_ > > If they said “Do you need to go?” it’s putting more onus on you to say “Actually, yes, you’re keeping me” which is a bit too blunt for lots of people. See, I’m the type of person who believes in people being honest about such things, instead of tiptoeing around and winding up being a little rude (IMHO) in the guise of “politeness.” If I need or want to get off the phone, I will say so. I expect the person I’m speaking with to do the same. No games, no mindreading required. If someone asks me “do you need to go,” and I do, I don’t see how saying so is too blunt. “Actually, yes, you’re keeping me” is a bit unneccessary, but a simple “actually, yes; sorry, but I must head off to xyz” is perfectly fine. I know that lots of people have no problem with – and may even prefer – “I’m going to let you go.” I’m just not one of 'em. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/22 "2004-08-28T16:16:41Z")
I’m married to a man who just hangs up the phone when he’s done. Sometimes he’ll say something noncommittal like, “Okay,” but at least half the time I end up staring at a dead phone saying, “Well, goodbye to you, too!” He insists he’s not being rude, that he’s indicated the conversation is over. I have to say that I don’t think I’m _that_ stupid. He points out that I often don’t say “Goodbye,” either. Yes, I often end business conversations with something other than “Goodbye,” but at least I clearly indicate that the conversation is over. It’s the fact that he doesn’t give me _any_ indication that the conversation is over except for CLICK! in my ear that pisses me off. After eight years, however, nothing has changed. Which leads me to believe that there’s not much point in tilting at this particular windmill any longer. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/23 "2004-08-28T17:21:23Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > See, I’m the type of person who believes in people being honest about such things, instead of tiptoeing around and winding up being a little rude (IMHO) in the guise of “politeness.” If I need or want to get off the phone, I will say so. I expect the person I’m speaking with to do the same. No games, no mindreading required. If someone asks me “do you need to go,” and I do, I don’t see how saying so is too blunt. “Actually, yes, you’re keeping me” is a bit unneccessary, but a simple “actually, yes; sorry, but I must head off to xyz” is perfectly fine. > > I know that lots of people have no problem with – and may even prefer – “I’m going to let you go.” I’m just not one of 'em. 🙂 In that case you should start conversations by explaining this, or people will have no way of knowing. Do you? I think that ideally, being completely honest is better – that’s what I do with friends – but since I know that can hurt other people I try to avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/24 "2004-08-28T17:24:44Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > In that case you should start conversations by explaining this, or people will have no way of knowing. Do you? I think that ideally, being completely honest is better – that’s what I do with friends – but since I know that can hurt other people I try to avoid it. Oh, and there was supposed to be a 🙂 there too. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/25 "2004-08-28T20:05:19Z")
**Shade** , I don’t see why you feel compelled to ‘correct’ my phone manners (which are much better than average, btw). Really, I _do_ understand why people say “I’ll let you go;” hell, I even say it myself sometimes. I JUST DON’T LIKE IT. I thought I made it clear – both times – that I’ve just been expressing my personal, and probably unpopular, opinion. Is that ok? Do you think you can disagree with me without treating me like a child and telling me what I “should” say to the people I converse with? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/26 "2004-08-28T23:38:50Z")
I’ve never really had any problems with the way people hang up the phone, but, oh boy! I hate the way some people answer it! FYI, people! It’s really not cool to answer by saying, “Who’s this?” I’ve even had people call _me_, and when I answer, ask, “Who’s this?” I have to restrain myself from saying, “Hey, dipshit, _you_ called _ME_!” And please, for pity’s sake, identify yourself when you call! I hate having someone call and say “Is John there?” without even saying who’s on the line! It just irritates me no end! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/27 "2004-08-29T00:21:16Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > FYI, people! It’s really not cool to answer by saying, “Who’s this?” I’ve even had people call _me_, and when I answer, ask, “Who’s this?” “Whom are you calling?” ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/28 "2004-08-29T01:51:52Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > I would guess they’re seeking a polite way to say exactly that. That you’ve been talking a while, they worry you are staying on out of politeness listening to them blather, and don’t want to impose, but don’t want to end the call, because it’s still interesting, and if you agree you could chat some more. So they attempt to put the ball in your court with “But I expect you’d best get on” or “I should let you go” or whatever, to which the response can be “Yeah, it’s been too long. Lovely to talk to you” or “Not at all, this is great.” If they said “Do you need to go?” it’s putting more onus on you to say “Actually, yes, you’re keeping me” which is a bit too blunt for lots of people. I’m guilty of this, and for the exact reasons you state above. I want to give them an out, should they want one. But on the other hand, if I am the one who needs to go, I don’t have too much of a problem letting them know I’ve got to hang up. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618/29 "2004-08-29T03:40:24Z")
I have a friend who has an annoying habit of answering the phone by saying “hello” as quietly as possible it seems like each time I call the hello is quieter than the last time :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-it-kill-you-to-say-bye-lame-but-short/261618.md?page=1)