# Would Like An Adult Term for SO, Boyfriend, Girlfriend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108 "2004-03-02T14:31:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sunrise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@sunrise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunrise)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/1 "2004-03-02T14:31:06Z")
My friends and I have discussed this before and we’re at a stale mate, so I turn to the Dopers to help! 🙂 We need another term for adults to use when they are dating someone or seriously involved with someone. For crying out loud, I’m almost 42 years old! I don’t like calling Kirk my ‘boyfriend’. It sounds too temporary. He’s not my fiance and who knows how long it will be till we go there…if we go there So we have: “Significant other” – makes it sound like we’re gay. “Partner” – again, used mostly by the gay community “Boyfriend” – great if you’re 18. He’s not a boy, I"m not a girl and he’s way more than a friend. “Consort” – okay, while I don’t mind being treated like a queen, doesn’t that just make him a ‘stud’? Any words you can come up with? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Gutgore_Blooddrink)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/2 "2004-03-02T14:44:14Z")
Well, I’m assuming you probably don’t want to use “FB” so how about: Companion. or Post-coital pre-marital self-sustaining apparatus? ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/3 "2004-03-02T14:46:11Z")
What’s so bad about “partner”? I hear plenty of straight folk use it nowadays. Invitations are commonly addressed to me “and partner”. There’s also “other half” or “better half” for casual references. … and you try “Kirk, my _biyatch!_”, if all else fails. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/4 "2004-03-02T14:47:33Z")
Do like Dieter from Sprockets and call him your lover. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/5 "2004-03-02T15:03:58Z")
> [@sunrise](#): > > My friends and I have discussed this before and we’re at a stale mate, so I turn to the Dopers to help! 🙂 > > We need another term for adults to use when they are dating someone or seriously involved with someone. For crying out loud, I’m almost 42 years old! I don’t like calling Kirk my ‘boyfriend’. It sounds too temporary. He’s not my fiance and who knows how long it will be till we go there…if we go there > > So we have: “Significant other” – makes it sound like we’re gay. > > “Partner” – again, used mostly by the gay community > > “Boyfriend” – great if you’re 18. He’s not a boy, I"m not a girl and he’s way more than a friend. > > “Consort” – okay, while I don’t mind being treated like a queen, doesn’t that just make him a ‘stud’? > > Any words you can come up with? I used to call my boyfriend (now husband) my " s’pose", as in " s’pose they’ll ever get married?" Incidently, “SO” is universally accepted as OK for gay and straight couples. I hate it (sounds like something out of a relationship contract, fercrissakes) but it does not imply you’re gay. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/6 "2004-03-02T15:14:52Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > Do like Dieter from Sprockets and call him your lover. Or do like Carrie from _Sex and the City_ and call him your “LOV-AH” until your friends go, “oh, will you shut _up?!_” ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/7 "2004-03-02T15:23:52Z")
“Hello! I’d like you to meet Kirk, my person-to-notify-in-case-of-emergency.” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/8 "2004-03-02T15:27:32Z")
I’ve always had a certain fondness for “main squeeze.” ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/9 "2004-03-02T15:30:52Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Or do like Carrie from _Sex and the City_ and call him your “LOV-AH” until your friends go, “oh, will you shut _up?!_” “Lover” is good as long as people haven’t seen the SNL skit with Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch as Professor Klarvin and Virginia. Their creepy “lover” characters spoil any straight-faced use of the world. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/10 "2004-03-02T16:21:41Z")
I don’t see why “boyfriend” is so bad. It’s just a label. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/11 "2004-03-02T16:27:48Z")
How about “studmuffin”? ---
**Author:** ![ponderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@ponderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponderer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/12 "2004-03-02T16:39:48Z")
Why not “Co - Star” ? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/13 "2004-03-02T16:56:24Z")
I’ll second co-star or lover. Either that or: Main squeeze. It sure beats the gentlemen-friend / lady-friend labels. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/14 "2004-03-02T17:11:05Z")
How about “the ol’ ball-and-chain”? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/15 "2004-03-02T17:28:57Z")
I think you hit upon the perfect term in your OP: > [@](#): > > My friends and I have discussed this before and we’re at a **stale mate** “This is Kirk, my stale mate.” Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/16 "2004-03-02T17:37:45Z")
Well, you could refer to him as your “Pheremone stimulator.” Or mebbe as your “Tesion relief.” Or even just go for simplicity: “This is Kirk. He’s mine.” ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/17 "2004-03-02T17:41:11Z")
> [@Skeezix](#): > > Or even just go for simplicity: > “This is Kirk. He’s mine.” I think there needs t be some epmphasis on “mine”. "This is Kirk. He’s _mine_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/18 "2004-03-02T18:06:15Z")
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ‘partner’ or ‘significant other’ - if it makes you sound gay because it’s mostly gay people who use these terms, for heaven’s sake, let’s us straight people start using them too, and then the problem will be solved ! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/19 "2004-03-02T18:58:43Z")
I have a friend who refers to her SO as her “man”. I guess it’s alright, but I always wonder when she’s going to trot out her “horse” or her “car.” Talk about an objectifying term! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108/20 "2004-03-02T19:32:43Z")
I’m wagering you wouldn’t go for “Kirk, my steady piece” then, huh? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-like-an-adult-term-for-so-boyfriend-girlfriend/232108.md?page=2)