# Would people describe you as an asshole/bitch and are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 19, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305 "2012-02-19T05:11:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/41 "2012-02-20T01:17:39Z")
> [@plainjane](#): > > Yes, people think I’m a bitch. No, I’m not… at least not most of the time. > My social anxiety makes me seem unfriendly. My inability to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself means that I sometimes say things that aren’t socially acceptable (but they’re true). Why are you “unable” to control the things you say? ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/42 "2012-02-20T01:29:32Z")
People only seem to think I’m a bitch when I won’t let them walk all over me. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/43 "2012-02-20T01:42:53Z")
No to both questions. I’m a pretty nice lady. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/44 "2012-02-20T03:38:29Z")
It’s happened, but it’s rare. It’s happened a lot more here than it’s ever happened anywhere else in my entire life. Though I haven’t been out much since I’ve been here, so maybe I’m different than I was. I do know I say some mean things when I get upset. The few times it happened before I got on this board, it involved someone who never once told me that I was bothering them. This is why I am always big on telling people to tell someone what they are doing that bothers you, rather than just disassociating with them, as many are wont to do. ---
**Author:** ![NadaHappyCamper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@NadaHappyCamper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NadaHappyCamper)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/45 "2012-02-20T04:49:27Z")
Since I really don’t know what people think, I can’t say. What I do know is that there are those among you who feel that it is my duty to inspect their knuckles for defects every so often. I am neither an asshole, though I do have one, nor am I a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/46 "2012-02-20T04:51:46Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It’s happened, but it’s rare. I don’t think it’s possible to get through life without someone, somewhere, thinking you’re an asshole. The question is how frequently it happens. If it’s rare, it’s probably just the other person. But if it happens a lot, well, a person might want to ask themselves some tough questions. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/47 "2012-02-20T05:56:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Simple answer, without any explanations/clarifications: Yes, people\* often describe me as an asshole and no, I am not an asshole. \*people who do not know me very well (there goes that whole ‘no explanations’ thing) ---
**Author:** ![What\_the](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f4b2a3/32.png) [@What\_the](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_the)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/48 "2012-02-20T12:33:54Z")
I’d like to think I’m more of a prick/cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/49 "2012-02-20T12:39:17Z")
Just as an aside, I’ve learned that when someone warns you when you first meet them that they can be an asshole or whatever, you should believe them. It’s almost always true. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/50 "2012-02-20T12:51:54Z")
Yup. But hey, at least I’m honest about it ! [QUOTE=Alice The Goon] Just as an aside, I’ve learned that when someone warns you when you first meet them that they can be an asshole or whatever, you should believe them. It’s almost always true. [/QUOTE] And yet they always think you’re joking, and believe that all the more that you try to tell them you really aren’t. It’s really frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/51 "2012-02-20T15:18:30Z")
If I stay passive and try not to speak up for myself and just get along, people think I’m really sweet and nice. If I stand up for myself and refuse to tolerate mistreatment and disrespect, I’m an asshole/bitch. There’s one woman at work who dislikes me intensely and makes comments like, “she’s so difficult to work with.” I think she’s a passive-aggressive, manipulative, controlling bully and I refuse to buckle under to her. That’s why she thinks I’m difficult; I won’t just roll over and do whatever the hell she wants me do. I’ll tell her no. I find that, when a man does this, he’s just strong and has a spine and everyone admires him for that quality, but when a woman does it, she’s just a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/52 "2012-02-20T17:18:55Z")
I’m a bit surprised at how many appear to be proud of being an asshole or a bitch. Like those who proclaim it to the world on a bumper sticker. Its actually not a good trait. ---
**Author:** ![Jbone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@Jbone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jbone)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/53 "2012-02-20T17:21:25Z")
I often say things that would make me sound like a giant asshole to someone who didn’t know me well enough. I often point out the truth of things the way they are when others may try to shy away, or not mention it. For example if someone says that they got injured doing \ I would say that’s something to be expected and it’s hard to feel sorry for them other than it’s sad that it happened. I almost got into some trouble this past week at work. One of my co-workers had suffered a stroke years ago and now has some balance issues with walking. They know they have problems sometime and they make fun of themselves sometimes if it happens (like if he/she stood up too fast, they would topple over and have to catch themselves). Anyway, I had recently bruised my knee and was walking around with a bit of a hobble. As I was walking by a cubicle at work, the person I mentioned above was helping someone out and they stopped to say “hey, are you alright?”. I told them I just bruised my knee, but here is where I was able to stop myself. The very next phrase I was going to blurt out was something along the lines of “And now I get to walk around like \ for awhile.”. He/she wouldn’t have minded and probably had a little laugh, but I’m sure the person they were helping would have thought I was a terrible human being. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/54 "2012-02-20T17:42:25Z")
I’ve developed more and more of an assholish personality (especially to my loved ones) in the past year or two because a lot of past severe trauma is finally coming to light in therapy that I’ve locked away since childhood. As my anger toward the people who hurt me grows, my patience with people I care about diminishes. I think people are starting to think I’m an asshole, and I know I’m becoming one. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/55 "2012-02-20T19:50:07Z")
To customers/people just meeting me for the first time: Greatest guy in the world. To all but 3 people who’ve known me longer than 10 minutes: Asshole extraordinaire. To those 3 people: Greatest guy in the world, huge heart, best intentions, but a bit socially impaired and wretchedly absent-minded. ETA: Not proud of how I’m perceived by the majority, I just recognize the reality and accept it. Folks will believe what they choose to. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305/56 "2012-02-21T05:47:27Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > If I stay passive and try not to speak up for myself and just get along, people think I’m really sweet and nice. > > If I stand up for myself and refuse to tolerate mistreatment and disrespect, I’m an asshole/bitch. There’s one woman at work who dislikes me intensely and makes comments like, “she’s so difficult to work with.” I think she’s a passive-aggressive, manipulative, controlling bully and I refuse to buckle under to her. That’s why she thinks I’m difficult; I won’t just roll over and do whatever the hell she wants me do. I’ll tell her no. > > I find that, when a man does this, he’s just strong and has a spine and everyone admires him for that quality, but when a woman does it, she’s just a bitch. This is an old cliché, but it really is true. Maybe young girls are being raised to not always be nice and get along, but I’m from an older generation, and I was raised with the idea that girls don’t fight and demand things - girls are supposed to give in and keep everyone happy. I try not to get walked over, but I still feel some guilt when I stand up for myself (thinking “Oh no, did I just upset someone else?” when I should be angry that someone just tried to take advantage of me). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-describe-you-as-an-asshole-bitch-and-are-you/613305.md?page=2)