# Would people with two eyes just SHUT UP! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168 "2003-01-22T05:46:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/1 "2003-01-22T05:46:53Z")
First off, I blame the media. Turn on TV and look at the beautiful people, and what do you notice about them? They all have two eyes. So two eyes becomes the standard of beauy that everyone is supposed to live up to. People with three eyes are shown only as villians, freaks or the butt of jokes. Maybe that’s why, in this politically correct age, three-eyed people are the one group you can still make fun of. I can’t understand why people think they have a right to come up to me and joke about it. Like the guy at the party last weekend, takes one look at me and says “Ai, ai, ai.” Hah hah. Clever. That’s the first time I’ve heard that one – _this week._ Or “Hey, Triclops.” Or “giving me the eye?” Or “don’t forget to dot all the eyes.” If I hear that one more time, I’m going to cross their T – with a tire iron. (Does anyone have any good comebacks for these?) Another annoying thing is when they sincerely ask, “Who was that guy on that one ‘Twilight Zone’ episode with three eyes?” Like everyone with three eyes is supposed to know everyone else. What hurts is that some people just assume I have three eyes because I wanted to. Like it’s something I just woke up and decided to do. Listen, it’s not my choice, believe me. I have to go through a lifetime of never getting to take advantage of the specials at Pearl Vision. They don’t make glasses that fit me, not nice ones anyway. And I have to spend 50% more on Murine. That hurts most of all. Listen, people, I’m just like you. When I laugh, my third eye laughs. When I’m sad, it cries tears just like your – only down my nose and off the tip like a drop of snot, but anyway. Please, people, can’t we just get along? ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/2 "2003-01-22T05:49:42Z")
Quick tip there Punkus- either up the voltage, or at least make sure the electrodes have better contact. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/3 "2003-01-22T05:59:21Z")
Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Four and a half stars. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/4 "2003-01-22T06:50:23Z")
It is to laugh. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/5 "2003-01-22T06:54:49Z")
I think you underestimate the fantastic fame and general positive influence of Blinky, the three-eyed fish from the Simpsons. Guess your problems are in the eye of the beheld, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/6 "2003-01-22T07:36:00Z")
**Pucky,** are you talking about [this,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=157699) [this,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=157910) or [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=158017)? Or perhaps all three ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/7 "2003-01-22T07:58:22Z")
Ohhhh, I get it. This is one of those clever parody threads, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/8 "2003-01-22T10:14:10Z")
Damn it. If it’s a parody, I thought the rules were that you put in a link, so we knew what the fuck was going on. Unless **Pucky Schumer** you have three eyes and then I’m wrong, but all I can see are two u’s and an e. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mr\_Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Blonde)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/9 "2003-01-22T11:01:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*\*Like the guy at the party last weekend, takes one look at me and says “Ai, ai, ai.” Hah hah. Clever. That’s the first time I’ve heard that one – _this week._ > \*\* What have we ear then?! Oh crap. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/10 "2003-01-22T11:20:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Re: Would people with two eyes just SHUT UP! I tried to shut up. Two of the mouths stopped but the third one is still yapping away: “I have two eyes…nyah…nyah…nyah…nyah…” ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/11 "2003-01-22T11:30:13Z")
By the way, that three-eyed dude on The Twilight Zone was the short order cook from Venus. [sub]Mel, I think, or maybe Mickey.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/12 "2003-01-22T13:41:17Z")
Everyone with more than one eye is a freak.😉 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/13 "2003-01-22T13:43:10Z")
What kind of pie do YOU like? I really like apple pie. Lemon is good too. I don’t like pumpkin pie. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/14 "2003-01-22T13:46:40Z")
[Laura Petrie] MY EYES! DON’T TOUCH MY EYES! [/Laura Petrie] ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/15 "2003-01-22T14:47:09Z")
…and a girl who could talk with her eyes… And she’d say… “can you see what i’m saying?” then the horn kicked in… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/16 "2003-01-22T15:16:22Z")
Hey, are you any good at those “Third Eye” puzzles? I can never get them to work. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/17 "2003-01-22T15:26:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SirRay \* > \*\*…and a girl who could talk with her eyes… > And she’d say… “can you see what i’m saying?” > then the horn kicked in… \*\* And my shoe started to squeak. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/18 "2003-01-22T16:03:03Z")
ROTFLMAO:D IDBB ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/19 "2003-01-22T16:03:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mikan \* > \*\*Ohhhh, I get it. This is one of those clever parody threads, isn’t it? \*\* No, it’s one of those _other_ ones. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168/20 "2003-01-22T16:11:06Z")
Parody or not, I chuckled. Heh heh heh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-people-with-two-eyes-just-shut-up/150168.md?page=2)