# Would "\[race\] only" as part of a personal ad turn you off? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416 "2013-04-22T17:40:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/101 "2013-04-28T07:47:29Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > No, you don’t have to give everyone a chance. You should give a chance to guys you like, and if those happen to be primarily black because they are most frequently what you’re attracted to, that’s fine. But if you’ll ONLY date black men and “can’t” screw anyone who isn’t, even if they’re good looking in your eyes, the “Oh, but that’s what I find attractive” argument starts to lose air. You and **evensven** are probably projecting. I mean, I could very well be wrong, but from what I know you both seem to be pretty social. Not me! It is SO hard for me to meet a dude when I feel pressured at all (blind date, friend’s pointed friend, Internet dude, whatever). Honestly, I’ve probably dated wayyy more men than most women as shy as me have. But I do have my comfort zone. I don’t care how mean anyone is about that ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/102 "2013-04-28T08:35:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Exactly. So if your goal is to filter out people you are categorically not sexually attracted to, race isn’t a particularly good filter. You’re trying to water down a physical attraction to mean anything and I think you’re wrong in this approach. If someone said they prefer petite and Asian then they probably mean Korean or Japanese and not Filipino or the others you listed. As to the op, people want what they want. If they’re only attracted to one race then it ain’t happening otherwise. The idea that they’re missing out on the perfect match is a non-argument when sexual attraction is considered in the decision. But since a person can pick and choose as people correspond with them then the politically correct thing to do is to accept all that are interested. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/103 "2013-04-28T11:07:03Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > You’re trying to water down a physical attraction to mean anything and I think you’re wrong in this approach. If someone said they prefer petite and Asian then they probably mean Korean or Japanese and not Filipino or the others you listed. Exactly. So if it were about looks, they would screen for petite women with dark hair- which encompasses a lot of people who are not Asian, and excludes a lot who are. If the dealbreaker, though, is that they just have to be East Asian in origin, that’s not a looks thing. I don’t believe anyone’s raw sexuality only responds to women with epicanthal fold. At that point, it’s becoming about whatever fantasy you’ve built up in your head about said group of women, which I want no part of. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/104 "2013-04-28T15:22:14Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Exactly. So if it were about looks, they would screen for petite women with dark hair- which encompasses a lot of people who are not Asian, and excludes a lot who are. > > If the dealbreaker, though, is that they just have to be East Asian in origin, that’s not a looks thing. I don’t believe anyone’s raw sexuality only responds to women with epicanthal fold. At that point, it’s becoming about whatever fantasy you’ve built up in your head about said group of women, which I want no part of. I disagree. I like a variety of women but I can narrow down various Asian looks to a few countries. It’s not about the epicanthal fold specifically. I can also narrow down what I don’t like in general about various countries. And it differs within sexes. To me some regions have better looking men then women and vice-verse. I have no idea what drives dating services. I can’t see myself using one but if I did it would be extremely difficult to post the kind of person I was looking for. I would look for cultural compatibility first and looks second and that doesn’t translate racially. I would date the darkest person on the planet but it’s unlikely I would date anyone that sees themselves as a hyphenated-American. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/105 "2013-04-28T18:09:04Z")
“Hi, I am a bad racist who at the same time cannot tell from your profile picture whether or not you are a Black! I also enjoy kayaking.” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/106 "2013-04-28T18:20:53Z")
Okay Colander, that was pretty damn funny. Though to be fair I am related to Stephen Colbert. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/107 "2013-04-28T19:21:25Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Okay Colander, that was pretty damn funny. > Though to be fair I am related to Stephen Colbert. i don’t think molesting his niece counts as being related but maybe they changed the rules on that?? ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/108 "2013-04-28T21:28:35Z")
Its funny to me how, if we have a “scientific” racist on this board, everyone will rush to point out there’s no such thing as race. But when it comes to dating… ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416/109 "2013-04-28T21:36:23Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Its funny to me how, if we have a “scientific” racist on this board, everyone will rush to point out there’s no such thing as race. But when it comes to dating… I think the rush is mainly to point out that there is no such _scientific_, biological thing as race; it is a social construct. That doesn’t mean that social constructs aren’t real, in terms of how they shape our minds and interactions. Often there is nothing more important than a social construct; human society is what gives meaning to most of the things we do. I think this is why **even sven** is largely right, above: when people talk about wanting or not wanting certain ‘races,’ they are generally talking about wanting or not wanting the _idea_ they have of such people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-race-only-as-part-of-a-personal-ad-turn-you-off/656416.md?page=5)