# Would they still be superheroes in real life? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2016, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242 "2016-08-09T13:38:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/1 "2016-08-09T13:38:30Z")
Let’s say Marvel and DC superheroes actually exist. They have all of their powers and abilities, the only restriction being… reality. It’s still the real world, as in, _this one_, the one you and I and everyone else is in right now. Anything is possible, as long as it adheres to the limitations of accepted physical, medical, and biological science. There is no magic. There are no aliens, mythical beings, or other-dimensional beings. There are no incredible meta-geniuses, fantastical human mutations, or super-double-secret-experimental-military-super-soldiers. Technology is right where it is this very second. A person could be exceptionally strong or fast, but only to the physical limit of actual real-world biology. **If Peter Parker and Bruce Banner and Tony Stark and everyone else existed in the real world, and the things that made them Spider-Man and Hulk and Iron Man still happened (or as close to portrayed events as reality allows), what would have happened to them?** For example, Peter Parker may experience some temporary discomfort due to being bit by a spider, but otherwise would survive the event unharmed and unchanged. Bruce Banner, he’s dead. Acute gamma ray exposure is generally unkind, not to mention the explosion itself. So, after erasing everyone that’s been made impossible by reality, of who’s left what would have happened to them? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/2 "2016-08-09T13:40:26Z")
Batman would exist until Wayne Industries had one good IRS tax audit. Ans there would be no Robin. A single playboy talking in an underage boy. Right! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/3 "2016-08-09T13:48:03Z")
None of the X-mutants would exist, because due to the damaging effects that mutations can have on genes, organisms have mechanisms such as DNA repair to prevent or correct mutations by reverting the mutated sequence back to its original state. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/4 "2016-08-09T14:23:47Z")
Green Arrow would be king of the hill. ---
**Author:** ![holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holmes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/5 "2016-08-09T14:34:49Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > For example, Peter Parker may experience some temporary discomfort due to being bit by a spider, but otherwise would survive the event unharmed and unchanged. Parker may well be dead too, or at least seriously ill…remember it was a\*\* radioactive\*\* spider. A spider who absorbed enough radiation to rewrite Parker’s DNA. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/6 "2016-08-09T14:38:38Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Anything is possible, as long as it adheres to the limitations of accepted physical, medical, and biological science. There is no magic. There are no aliens, mythical beings, or other-dimensional beings. There are no incredible meta-geniuses, fantastical human mutations, or super-double-secret-experimental-military-super-soldiers. Technology is right where it is this very second. We have that right now. That is our world. And there are no superheroes. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/7 "2016-08-09T14:52:56Z")
> [@holmes](#): > > Parker may well be dead too, or at least seriously ill…remember it was a\*\* radioactive\*\* spider. A spider who absorbed enough radiation to rewrite Parker’s DNA. I used to have a vague idea for a “What If–?” scenario–namely, What if radiation in the Marvel Universe worked like it does in real life? Probably half of the major Marvel heroes, and quite a few of the villains, would either be dead or riddled with cancer. There’s the FF, the Hulk, Spider-Man, and Daredevil, and that’s just off the top of my head. Plus, the X-Men used to be called “Children of the Atom,” so toss them in too! Wasn’t it Roy Thomas who said, “The basic message of Marvel Comics in the sixties was: radiation is good for you!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/8 "2016-08-09T15:21:40Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > We have that right now. That is our world. And there are no superheroes. I noted in a similar thread [a while back](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=653835) that, the year the Challengers of the Unknown made their comic-book debut, America in fact had a guy with Ace’s skillset, and a guy with Rocky’s skillset: we had John Glenn, who shot down enemy planes during the Korean War before becoming a record-breaking test pilot; and we had Henry Wittenberg, an Olympic wrestling champ who knew how to handle a gun. And in real life, they were – well, serving in the USMC and in the NYPD, respectively. Because of _course_ they were; if you want to risk your life as a do-gooder, why put on a costume and run around calling yourself a superhero? Just join the military, or work in law enforcement, or whatever; that’s what people actually _do._ (Granted, what made the Challs work were their other two teammates: one was a scuba-diving explosives expert; the other, a mountain-climbing sharpshooter. And, again, guys like that are naturals to become Navy SEALs, right?) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/9 "2016-08-09T16:56:43Z")
> [@holmes](#): > > Parker may well be dead too, or at least seriously ill…remember it was a\*\* radioactive\*\* spider. A spider who absorbed enough radiation to rewrite Parker’s DNA. I question whether a spider is capable of absorbing an amount of radiation significant enough to have an effect on other creatures, particularly one so much larger than it as a human, but insignificant enough not to kill it. I don’t believe an irradiated spider bite would be any more harmful than a bite from a non-irradiated one. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/10 "2016-08-09T16:58:15Z")
Well, in real life, Iron Man is just a can full of powdered bones in the desert somewhere, because, while it’s comic book canon that falling from great heights doesn’t hurt as long as there’s something between you and the ground, in real life, he would have undergone several hundred g’s of deceleration on his first test flight (as shown in the movie). I seem to recall that in the same movie, Iron Man gets hit by a tank shell and shrugs it off. Given the kinetic energy involved, I suspect that’s also not a survivable event. Note that even knights had substantial padding underneath their armor; Stark, on the other hand, is wearing street clothes while banging around inside of a metal suit. Without some kind of inertial damper field, the reality is that any battleground would probably be littered with pulp-filled Iron Man suits leaking unsavory fluids. Of course, as the second and third movies demonstrate, you don’t actually need a human in the suit – it can be operated by telepresence. Which makes a lot more sense, because it leaves more room in the suit for batteries, motors, and other high tech stuff. So, if Iron Man exists at all, it’s some rich guy hanging out at home and playing with the Mother of all drones. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/11 "2016-08-09T18:55:20Z")
The Punisher is probably the most likely “superhero”, in that he’s a violent psychopath with the superpower of having lots of guns. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/12 "2016-08-09T20:11:38Z")
Anybody who doesn’t pick up some variety of mutant healing factor or just plain immunity to damage along with their powers is going to be a decrepit, wheelchair-bound ex-hero after a startlingly short number of fights. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/13 "2016-08-09T20:16:37Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > The Punisher is probably the most likely “superhero”, in that he’s a violent psychopath with the superpower of having lots of guns. A protest and vigil is being held is being held outside of City Hall this evening, in response to shocking video that shows officer Frank Castle shooting an unarmed and compliant suspect nine times. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/14 "2016-08-09T20:17:46Z")
There’s no way people wouldn’t know Clark Kent = Superman. You can’t be the most famous person on earth and be able to blend in by donning a pair of glasses. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/15 "2016-08-09T20:26:31Z")
Black Widow doesn’t have any supernatural powers or enhancements does she? If we accept that her martial arts skill are as good as they are portrayed, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2016, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/16 "2016-08-09T20:45:26Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > A protest and vigil is being held is being held outside of City Hall this evening, in response to shocking video that shows officer Frank Castle shooting an unarmed and compliant suspect nine times. Only nine times? Man, Frank has really mellowed. Earlier today, the Coast Guard called off the search for Arthur Curry. The champion swimmer was last seen off the coast of San Diego approaching a Killer Whale calf. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/17 "2016-08-10T01:37:43Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Only nine times? Man, Frank has really mellowed. He was using a six-shooter. ---
**Author:** ![TYphoonSignal8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@TYphoonSignal8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TYphoonSignal8)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/18 "2016-08-10T10:03:11Z")
Captain America either died from being injected with super soldier serum, or died in the ice. Superman spreads alien super-pathogens as soon as he is released from his rocket, killing everyone within minutes. The Flash is electrocuted by that lightning bolt and has a big dry cleaning bill to pay arising from those chemicals. The Legion of Superheroes speak a language which we as 20th century linguistic relics cannot understand. > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > He was using a six-shooter. Well played, sir. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/19 "2016-08-10T10:27:55Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Anything is possible, as long as it adheres to the limitations of accepted physical, medical, and biological science. There is no magic. There are no aliens, mythical beings, or other-dimensional beings. There are no incredible meta-geniuses, fantastical human mutations, or super-double-secret-experimental-military-super-soldiers. Technology is right where it is this very second. > > A person could be exceptionally strong or fast, but only to the physical limit of actual real-world biology. If I’m reading you right, this still allows wacky comic-book master-of-disguise skills. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242/20 "2016-08-10T14:21:02Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > Green Arrow would be king of the hill. He and Hawkeye could hang out and get drunk together. > [@MrAtoz](#): > > I used to have a vague idea for a “What If–?” scenario–namely, What if radiation in the Marvel Universe worked like it does in real life? Probably half of the major Marvel heroes, and quite a few of the villains, would either be dead or riddled with cancer. Remember Moloch in _Watchmen?_ > [@Moloch](#): > > You know the kind of cancer you get better from? Yeah… that ain’t the kind of cancer I got. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-they-still-be-superheroes-in-real-life/762242.md?page=2)