# Would this attitude bother you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 10, 2015, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784 "2015-07-10T17:54:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/41 "2015-07-11T15:04:48Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > JavaScript. 😕 BananaPhone. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/42 "2015-07-11T15:13:11Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Fay needs a boyfriend. Why assume that? Or that she’s even single? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/43 "2015-07-11T16:42:14Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m not sure how Fay can logically hold that a married man being alone in a movie theatre, restaurant, etc. with a woman other than his wife is OK, but doing the same in a domestic home is not OK. Is it that in a diner or at the movies, there are other people around acting as pseudo-chaperones? I don’t see a logical contradiction in Fay’s attitude. It seems quite normal. At the movies or in the restaurant there are witnesses to the fact that their behavior is non-sexual. Being alone in her friends’ home is a different situation entirely. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/44 "2015-07-11T16:46:18Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > What’s right or wrong aside, now that Fay has made a “thing” about this being a “thing”, I think it’s highly likely that at some time in the future, her and Mark will have sex. Maybe it will be adultery, maybe it will be after an amicable divorce, but I’m pretty certain that now, one way or another, it _will_ happen, Not necessarily. This is a very real “thing” to some people. I follow similar rules of behavior in regard to all my male friends and coworkers. Public socialization is fine. We can have a great time together, but alone together in their homes or apartments is completely off-limits. (Alone together in my home is impossible because my family is large and there are always people around). ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/45 "2015-07-11T16:57:30Z")
Fay is very wise. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/46 "2015-07-11T17:31:44Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Fay’s objection sounds reasonable to me. One of the best ways to avoid unfaithfulness (or enticing someone else to be unfaithful) is to avoid temptation, and Fay might feel that she or Mark would be tempted if they were at his home, alone, together. Me too. The other thing Fay may be trying to avoid here is the appearance of wrongdoing. Wagging tongues of acquaintances and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/47 "2015-07-11T17:41:06Z")
No objections. My only criticism of Faye is the she’s putting the blame on Mark and Wendy. She could have taken more ownership and just said _she’s_ not comfortable with it. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/48 "2015-07-11T18:33:27Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Not necessarily. This is a very real “thing” to some people. I follow similar rules of behavior in regard to all my male friends and coworkers. Public socialization is fine. We can have a great time together, but alone together in their homes or apartments is completely off-limits. (Alone together in my home is impossible because my family is large and there are always people around). Oh that situation itself can certainly work and stay platonic- until one of the parties says something like Fay did, that alludes, even indirectly, to the possibility of sex. Now the likelihood of that happening in the future has increased tenfold. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/49 "2015-07-11T20:26:36Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > Oh that situation itself can certainly work and stay platonic- until one of the parties says something like Fay did, that alludes, even indirectly, to the possibility of sex. Now the likelihood of that happening in the future has increased tenfold. Only if Mark’s the kind of person that can’t control his impulses once a possible negative outcome is merely suggested. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/50 "2015-07-11T20:30:53Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > Oh that situation itself can certainly work and stay platonic- until one of the parties says something like Fay did, that alludes, even indirectly, to the possibility of sex. Now the likelihood of that happening in the future has increased tenfold. No it hasn’t. It’s always been there. Tenfold. Just because nobody acknowledged it until that very moment, doesn’t mean it wasn’t there the entire time. There’s no question in my mind that all three are playing at something. The only thing left to discuss are individual motives for encouraging the dynamics involved. ---
**Author:** ![MrsBear99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@MrsBear99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsBear99)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/51 "2015-07-12T11:39:34Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Fay is very wise. As someone who has been cheated on…I agree. Although I also think Fay and Mark shouldn’t be spending so much alone time together outside his house, either. My ex-husband spent a lot of time with a co-worker. Eventually their relationship developed into a romantic one. As we explored counseling and I did a lot of reading on the topic, all the so called “relationship experts” seemed to agree that one shouldn’t invite trouble with this type of situation. My two cents…It’s best to avoid even the appearacne of impropriety. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784/52 "2015-07-12T11:51:08Z")
> [@MrsBear99](#): > > It’s best to avoid even the appearacne of impropriety. Now _that_ would be interesting; have a friend of the opposite sex and you get pimples. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-attitude-bother-you/724784.md?page=2)