# Would this be a really creepy singles ad? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956 "2014-04-12T20:00:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/41 "2014-04-13T03:19:17Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > She doesn’t have to watch them with me, but she has to let me do it. I should throw in all types of movies too, such as horror, martial arts, ultra violent, sci fi, comedy, foreign, etc. because those are part of my research. Watching trashy movies is research now? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/42 "2014-04-13T03:27:59Z")
_makes a note never to attend a Dopefest if the OP will be there_ No offense, I just don’t want to have to worry about putting the lotion in the basket. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/43 "2014-04-13T03:38:10Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > So nothing to add, then? You said he was making lots of ultimatums and he responded “JUST DO EXACTLY AS I SAY!” So no, I have nothing to add. It’s perfect. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/44 "2014-04-13T04:01:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You said he was making lots of ultimatums and he responded “JUST DO EXACTLY AS I SAY!” So no, I have nothing to add. It’s perfect. It certainly is. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/45 "2014-04-13T04:10:41Z")
After reading three pages of posts in the other thread, I, for one, would like to know what became of the burnt frozen chickens. Did she eat them both or did you rage-eat the leftovers during a Law and Order marathon before they could go bad? You’ve left us hanging long enough. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/46 "2014-04-13T04:26:50Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > There’s something about you specifying that you want a deaf woman who has children with no living father and then throwing in the thing about serial killers that tips it solidly into creepy territory for me. Don’t forget that he wants this woman to hate going for walks, hiking, and all forms of long-distance exercise. A woman who enjoyed jogging but didn’t expect him to join her wouldn’t be good enough, she specifically has to be a woman who isn’t in the habit of traveling any considerable distance on foot. If such a woman were to find herself in a situation that made her literally want to run away, one might expect that she wouldn’t make it very far. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/47 "2014-04-13T04:36:04Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Don’t forget that he wants this woman to hate going for walks, hiking, and all forms of long-distance exercise. A woman who enjoyed jogging but didn’t expect him to join her wouldn’t be good enough, she specifically has to be a woman who isn’t in the habit of traveling any considerable distance on foot. > > If such a woman were to find herself in a situation that made her literally want to run away, one might expect that she wouldn’t make it very far. Quit treading on my libertarian rights. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/48 "2014-04-13T04:48:43Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > There’s something about you specifying that you want a deaf woman who has children with no living father and then throwing in the thing about serial killers that tips it solidly into creepy territory for me. > > Just what do you plan to do with those fatherless children that you don’t want their mother to hear? Yeah, lists of conditions like that usually occur in news stories in which the word “exhumed” features prominently. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/49 "2014-04-13T05:03:24Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Don’t forget that he wants this woman to hate going for walks, hiking, and all forms of long-distance exercise. A woman who enjoyed jogging but didn’t expect him to join her wouldn’t be good enough, she specifically has to be a woman who isn’t in the habit of traveling any considerable distance on foot. > > If such a woman were to find herself in a situation that made her literally want to run away, one might expect that she wouldn’t make it very far. But remember, even though she’s not supposed to exercise, she can’t be a fattie, either. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/50 "2014-04-13T06:53:43Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Heh and I’m not a beggar, I just found out I’m in the top 5% of all men in the US by educational attainment. 😃 If I get a 2nd masters, it will be like .5% Ph.D is like .2. [While there’s no shame in looking for work, a little humility about what it is you’re bringing to a relationship wouldn’t kill you.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=17283665&posted=1#post17283665) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/51 "2014-04-13T07:59:57Z")
I think all of the requirements in the OP can be successfully filled by a corpse. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/52 "2014-04-13T08:48:28Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > Your research is paying off handsomely. This ad sounds exactly like a serial killer personal profile. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/53 "2014-04-13T08:50:47Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But remember, even though she’s not supposed to exercise, she can’t be a fattie, either. Too hard to fit into a suitcase. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/54 "2014-04-13T09:42:44Z")
What the…? At first I thought this was some kind of joke that I just didn’t find funny (“Father must not be alive or in prison” - really?), but after revisiting the other two threads, I’m starting to believe this dude might actually be serious. In this case, the answer to the OP’s question is yes, creepy as shit, and no sane woman would respond. If I saw this in an ad, I seriously would have stopped reading after asinine request #1 and thought “Dude’s crazy, moving on.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/55 "2014-04-13T09:43:47Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Too hard to fit into a suitcase. See this guy from [The Silence of the Lambs.](https://www.google.com/search?q=ted+levine&biw=1787&bih=853&tbm=isch&imgil=wkSyj9CEtk8XAM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcSohPRXOmiUKfI9PlK8R0a_Rxoo6htx6873nWt8UBdHqvvbGPTB%253B400%253B300%253B7wEU2lmTauPJqM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ew.com%25252Few%25252Fgallery%25252F0%25252C%25252C20289565_20471359%25252C00.html&source=iu&usg=__PARn4XRrgbGSaF7q2pnOeGlxbNI%3D&sa=X&ei=dFhKU-GLDKqGyQGi3YG4CA&sqi=2&ved=0CJYBEP4dMAw#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=WQGrEcF5OsIIqM%253A%3BflwHpaBPEUfJ8M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fhdwallpappers.com%252Fimages%252Fwallpapers%252Fted-levine-wallpaper.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fhdwallpappers.com%252Fted-levine-wallpaper%252F%3B1600%3B1208) He was[this guy from Monk.](https://www.google.com/search?q=ted+levine&biw=1787&bih=853&tbm=isch&imgil=wkSyj9CEtk8XAM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcSohPRXOmiUKfI9PlK8R0a_Rxoo6htx6873nWt8UBdHqvvbGPTB%253B400%253B300%253B7wEU2lmTauPJqM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ew.com%25252Few%25252Fgallery%25252F0%25252C%25252C20289565_20471359%25252C00.html&source=iu&usg=__PARn4XRrgbGSaF7q2pnOeGlxbNI%3D&sa=X&ei=dFhKU-GLDKqGyQGi3YG4CA&sqi=2&ved=0CJYBEP4dMAw#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=4IUDHW5jwjZOzM%253A%3BSzSX3BDdEb3ciM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.nndb.com%252Fpeople%252F238%252F000079001%252Fted-levine-2-sized.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.nndb.com%252Fpeople%252F238%252F000079001%252F%3B245%3B334) ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/56 "2014-04-13T11:15:04Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But remember, even though she’s not supposed to exercise, she can’t be a fattie, either. Can’t be over 200. I think 180, for a woman of average height, will be significantly over weight. Also, ultimatums are ultimata. As to the OP, it’s a parody, right? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/57 "2014-04-13T11:49:45Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > Can’t be over 200. I think 180, for a woman of average height, will be significantly over weight. > > Also, ultimatums are ultimata. > > As to the OP, it’s a parody, right? Remember he also mentions family. While I agree that 180 for many women would be overweight, some tall guys (particularly if they’re indeed fit) may weight more than that. But that is a minor point because the whole ad is creepy and I’dlike to think it is a parody or joke. Also, yes, yes, the OP is a beggar (and so is everyone looking for a relationship, to a larger or lesser extent). A divorced man (and based on other threads, not a very young one either), looking for companionship. Yes, you cannot be as choosy as others. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/58 "2014-04-13T12:48:51Z")
Creepy, but honest. At least the viewer will know what they’re getting into. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/59 "2014-04-13T13:27:25Z")
OMG OMG, A hearing impaired woman I’m friends with saw me typing this post and she _totally_ wants to meet you. She just got out of jail for killing the father of her kids, and due to the probationary tracking device she can’t go on long walks or hiking, so mostly she just sits around and watches law and order. Also, due to the blandness of the prison diet, she lost a lot of weight while in the slammer. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2014, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956/60 "2014-04-13T13:31:42Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > OMG OMG, A hearing impaired woman I’m friends with saw me typing this post and she _totally_ wants to meet you. She just got out of jail for killing the father of her kids, and due to the probationary tracking device she can’t go on long walks or hiking, so mostly she just sits around and watches law and order. Also, due to the blandness of the prison diet, she lost a lot of weight while in the slammer. Win. /thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-be-a-really-creepy-singles-ad/685956.md?page=4)