Would this invention work as a gay-o-meter?

I admit that this is a complicated problem that no one has yet to master. Please tell me what is wrong with my experiment as a STARING point. And yes, I have an ABD (All but Dissertation) from a very good university. This isn’t about me. It is about whether this is a good starting point for further research and so far I gather that it is. I want your INTELLIGENT contributions, NOT ABOUT ME, but about how the experiment might work and how it might be refined, in WILLING SUBJECTS.