# Would this offend you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917 "2011-08-08T06:08:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/21 "2011-08-08T17:46:10Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > So, I was talking to someone early. They were catching me up on their kin. They were telling me one of their siblings isn’t paying child support, despite having the money to do so. I don’t want to get into particulars, but they have more than enough money to pay if. They’re choosing not to. I said what came to mind. That their sibling was a deadbeat. They got highly offended. They told me they don’t care if their sibling never pays child support. I’m not allowed to call their sibling a deadbeat. :eek: > > So, this is my question to dopers. Would you be offended if someone called your sibling (of either sex) a deadbeat parent if they had the funds for court odered child support, but were choosinng not to pay it? In a situation where I did not know why someone is not paying child support I would not presume them to be a deadbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/22 "2011-08-08T18:35:51Z")
“Well, you just described a Deadbeat Dad - can you tell me why my description of him is inaccurate, since you’re the one who started talking about his personal business?” I probably wouldn’t have called him a Deadbeat Dad either, but I might have asked a few polite questions about why he isn’t paying for the children he fathered. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/23 "2011-08-09T03:11:10Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > In a situation where I did not know why someone is not paying child support I would not presume them to be a deadbeat. I know the situation of both parents. He doesn’t have a reason not to be paying. I just don’t feel I have the right to post his situation here where someone could identify someone one in the party. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/24 "2011-08-10T01:35:57Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > So, I was talking to someone early. They were catching me up on their kin. They were telling me one of their siblings isn’t paying child support, despite having the money to do so. I don’t want to get into particulars, but they have more than enough money to pay if. They’re choosing not to. I said what came to mind. That their sibling was a deadbeat. They got highly offended. They told me they don’t care if their sibling never pays child support. I’m not allowed to call their sibling a deadbeat. :eek: > > So, this is my question to dopers. Would you be offended if someone called your sibling (of either sex) a deadbeat parent if they had the funds for court odered child support, but were choosinng not to pay it? Well, if my family thought that choosing not to pay child support was OK, then I might agree and think that he’s not a deadbeat. Which makes me as bad as the sibling, and therefore my opinion is of no value. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/25 "2011-08-10T04:43:48Z")
I can say that my brother is a deadbeat. But \*you \*can’t. To elaborate, it’s actually none of your business even if the other person brought it up, and people don’t have the right to give an unsolicited opinion of someone else’s relative. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/26 "2011-08-10T04:53:06Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > \ > To elaborate, it’s actually none of your business even if the other person brought it up, and people don’t have the right to give an unsolicited opinion of someone else’s relative. I don’t agree with that; it’s easy enough to not have people calling your relatives unflattering names - don’t tell other people about the asshole things they’re doing. If you want to open that door, you can’t expect people not to walk through it. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/27 "2011-08-10T05:05:54Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t agree with that; it’s easy enough to not have people calling your relatives unflattering names - don’t tell other people about the asshole things they’re doing. If you want to open that door, you can’t expect people not to walk through it. Fine, they’ll still be unforgivably pissed off at you for doing it. What do you think, you’re going to convince them in one conversation to completely change their attitude, and change their sibling’s behavior as well? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/28 "2011-08-10T13:42:06Z")
If it were my brother, I’d be calling him a hell of a lot worse than that myself. The first person to tell lies about or mischaracterize somebody I love gets gutted with a rusty grapefruit spoon, but that doesn’t make me blind to my loved ones’ faults. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917/29 "2011-08-10T14:39:10Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t agree with that; it’s easy enough to not have people calling your relatives unflattering names - don’t tell other people about the asshole things they’re doing. If you want to open that door, you can’t expect people not to walk through it. Too bad. Real life isn’t the Dope. The word is an insult. It’s supposed to be offensive. By using it, you demonstrate that that was your intention. And insulting someone’s family member is rude, for the reasons given by **monstro**. It is time like these that I feel like you guys must be living on a different planet, where people talk like they do in the Pit in everyday life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-offend-you/591917.md?page=1)