# Would this thread be acceptable? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 21, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652 "2009-10-21T18:55:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/1 "2009-10-21T18:55:07Z")
Would I be permitted to start a thread in MPSIMS titled “Private Message me your confessions” and with the content of the thread something along the lines of “Got something you want to share with a stranger on the internet but don’t want it posting on the board? PM me - confidnentiality assured”. Basically I’m nosy 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/2 "2009-10-21T19:08:05Z")
Aside from being tacky, you can’t promise confidentiality, assuming you are not a lawyer, priest, doctor, or other person with a legal privilege against disclosure. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/3 "2009-10-21T19:10:29Z")
no, true that. And of course if someone confessed to murder or something I wouldn’t be keeping it confidential anyway, despite my claim. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/4 "2009-10-21T21:15:01Z")
If this is a serious question, the serious answer is – no. Although PMs are enabled here – and I think we all enjoy the convenience of them – the emphasis at the SDMB is on community, and on conversations that we can all participate in, whether through posting or just through reading. What you’re proposing is antithetical to that. Plus, of course, raising all kinds of sticky ethical and legal issues, as **Oakminster** suggests. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/5 "2009-10-21T21:40:59Z")
There’s no specific rule against it, but I’m with **twickster** : no, because it’s a terrible idea in general. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/6 "2009-10-22T18:53:13Z")
ok dokes - I thought that might be the answer so was best to check! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/7 "2009-10-23T14:44:36Z")
Is this what the SDMB has become? The OP is suggesting a thread that breaks convention and puts a new spin on an old idea, and you want to discourage him. It’s just this sort of wierdness, thinking outside the box and provocative posting that made this message board really great. Now you’re discouraging it because it’s tacky? Don’t listen to them, AL. Post your thread. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/8 "2009-10-23T15:02:11Z")
NETA: the OP is under no legal obligation to guarantee the confidentiality he promises in the OP. A reasonable person knows this. Saying he can’t (promise confidentiality) is akin to pointing out that wearing a cape doesn’t enable one to fly. Rediculous. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/9 "2009-10-23T15:12:20Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > Don’t listen to them, AL. Post your thread. Excellent advice, after two different mods have said not to. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/10 "2009-10-23T15:30:37Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Excellent advice, after two different mods have said not to. :rolleyes: Are you saying the thread proposed is against the rules, then? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/11 "2009-10-23T15:33:44Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > Are you saying the thread proposed is against the rules, then? Probably not. But it’s a bad idea, just like telling people to start a thread after mods have told them not to is a bad idea. **Angry Lurker** had no complaints about our response and was very polite, so I think the matter’s closed. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/12 "2009-10-23T15:52:16Z")
I’ll be more specific: the thread isn’t against the rules. “Let’s list our PIN codes and Social Security numbers!” wouldn’t be against the rules either, but it would still get shut down on the ground that it’s a lousy idea and could cause problems for participants. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/13 "2009-10-23T16:01:13Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Probably not. But it’s a bad idea, just like telling people to start a thread after mods have told them not to is a bad idea. **Angry Lurker** had no complaints about our response and was very polite, so I think the matter’s closed. I was just expressing my opinion. Are you saying that if a topic is technically not against the rules, but offends your sensibilities, then the topic (and discussion of it) are forbidden? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/14 "2009-10-23T16:05:31Z")
Huh. I kind of liked the idea. I know it could be abused, but that’s what we have rules for. And one could ask questions one could not under their real name. Oh well. Not like I was committed to it or something. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/15 "2009-10-23T16:07:11Z")
“Offends our sensibilities”? :rolleyes: It’s against the ethos of community we have here. (Where would such a thread go after the OP? There’s no topic of conversation there, and conversation is what we do here.) If he opens such a thread in MPSIMS, **Marley** and I will race to see who can close it first, because we’re allowed to use our judgment about what is and isn’t acceptable in that forum. This would not be acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/16 "2009-10-23T16:17:09Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > If he opens such a thread in MPSIMS, **Marley** and I will race to see who can close it first, because we’re allowed to use our judgment about what is and isn’t acceptable in that forum. This would not be acceptable. Would a betting pool be allowed? **Marley** is the wiley veteran, you’re the brash young upstart. Could be a race for the ages… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/17 "2009-10-23T16:35:45Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > “Offends our sensibilities”? :rolleyes: > > It’s against the ethos of community we have here. (Where would such a thread go after the OP? There’s no topic of conversation there, and conversation is what we do here.) > > If he opens such a thread in MPSIMS, **Marley** and I will race to see who can close it first, because we’re allowed to use our judgment about what is and isn’t acceptable in that forum. This would not be acceptable. You had me at eyeroll emoticon. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/18 "2009-10-23T16:48:20Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Would a betting pool be allowed? **Marley** is the wiley veteran, you’re the brash young upstart. Could be a race for the ages… > 😃 Knock yourselves out – but only a chump would bet on me. **Marley** ’s honed his skills hunting spammers, and has been known to ban them before they even post. Seriously. Dude is good. > [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > You had me at eyeroll emoticon. Thanks – I do pride myself on my eyerolling. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/19 "2009-10-23T18:09:45Z")
So posting something that is a “bad idea” is “unacceptable” and will be closed down, but it isn’t against the rules. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652/20 "2009-10-23T18:31:06Z")
I think that sounds like a very cool thread, but only if **Angry Lurker** posts what people PM him without the names. It would be a kind of PostSecret, only message board style. I fail to see how this is on par with revealing Social Security Numbers. And if **Angry Lurker** just wants people to PM him confessions (and not post anything after the initial plea) how exactly is locking the thread going to accomplish anything? This kind of modding seems like bizarre paternalism to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-thread-be-acceptable/514652.md?page=2)