# Would this woman date you? (Political...very political) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741 "2018-04-03T19:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/81 "2018-04-04T21:51:22Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > 1. You’d be surprised at how many points she and I are at least in vague agreement on (at least 6). And if you allow for her shallow, non-globalist point of view\* the number gets somewhat better than that. > > 2. I’m not sure one of us understands the term “pearl clutching”. To me, it summons the image of Margaret Dumont(?) in the old Marx Bros movies saying “Oh dear” and swooning when someone does something shocking. I’m kind of PALTR at her. So…to me, not pearl-clutching. Paltrow? Palantir? [Galactic Imperial General Paltr Carvin](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Paltr_Carvin)? Anyway, yeah, I got a Margaret Dumontish vibe off your OP. > [@](#): > > \*The sex-worker question comes to mind. I don’t care if a woman chooses to rent her body as long as there’s some sort of heath check in general and an age barrier, but in the USA, with the pimp “system”, “sex workers” are more often than not coerced and she doesn’t even allow for the discussion of the possiblity of that. Yeah, I don’t think you and her disagree on this one, either, and I’m kind of confused why you think you do? What gives you the impression that she’s unaware of the coercive and exploitative nature of most sex work in the US, or unwilling to discuss it? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/82 "2018-04-04T22:58:35Z")
I have met plenty of women (and men) like her in real life and I steer well clear of them. They aren’t very interested in the positions that they take. They just want you to acknowledge that they are right and refuse to compromise or give on anything. That isn’t very compatible with a real adult relationship. They also tend to be extremely nasty people despite espousing some sort of vague notion of compassion for all and the rate of mental illness among them is very high. Forgive me if I am too judgmental but I think I will pass. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/83 "2018-04-05T00:34:41Z")
Meh. Everyday Feminism gets up my nose, but I’m not really their target audience, so that’s not a problem. On the other hand, this article isn’t so bad. If politics is real important to her, that’s cool. Nothing she said strikes me as outrageous; I think the OP is massively, maybe deliberately, misreading what she says in order to caricature her as a shrill harpy. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/84 "2018-04-05T00:47:41Z")
Also, Imma go out on a limb here that Fenris isn’t a regular subscriber to Everyday Feminism either. Chances are good that he ran across this on some smirking rightwing blog that was pointing and laughing at them libruls, and decided to carry this recreational outrage over here, magnifying that smirk. Which, I mean, groovy? ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/85 "2018-04-05T01:01:25Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Also, Imma go out on a limb here that Fenris isn’t a regular subscriber to Everyday Feminism either. Chances are good that he ran across this on some smirking rightwing blog that was pointing and laughing at them libruls, and decided to carry this recreational outrage over here, magnifying that smirk. Which, I mean, groovy? Or his “someone doesn’t agree with Israel” google alert pinged him. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/86 "2018-04-05T01:08:31Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Meh. Everyday Feminism gets up my nose, but I’m not really their target audience, so that’s not a problem. > > On the other hand, this article isn’t so bad. If politics is real important to her, that’s cool. Nothing she said strikes me as outrageous; I think the OP is massively, maybe deliberately, misreading what she says in order to caricature her as a shrill harpy. If you read her Twitter account, “shrill harpy” isn’t all that far off the mark. ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/87 "2018-04-05T13:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Another possibility is that the list of deal-breakers exists in real life, but it’s just a way to avoid intimacy. Maybe her real enemy is…herself. She is actually married, so it’s not that. The article isn’t her describing her dating life, it’s her telling you how you must conduct your dating life. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/88 "2018-04-05T13:31:38Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I think **RickJay** may be suggesting there may not actually be a Mr. Doormat. She has enough references and photos that it’s much more logical to assume he exists. She has a strangely apologetic tone sometimes, promising that she wouldn’t marry another “cishet male” if anything happened in her marriage as though she’s worried that her marriage is hurting her feminist bonafides. My thought was that she better get ready to do more housework without that cishet male guilt to exploit while she stays in bed drinking lattes. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/89 "2018-04-05T14:09:52Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Also, Imma go out on a limb here that Fenris isn’t a regular subscriber to Everyday Feminism either. Chances are good that he ran across this on some smirking rightwing blog that was pointing and laughing at them libruls, and decided to carry this recreational outrage over here, magnifying that smirk. Which, I mean, groovy? I first ran across it months ago [here](https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/the-date-from-hell/). I think that I may even have mentioned it on the SSJWBotD thread. ---
**Author:** ![senoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@senoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senoy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/90 "2018-04-05T14:39:41Z")
Just to throw a relevant fact in here: Intersectional Feminism is the idea that oppression is not the result of single factors (being a woman, being black, being poor, etc.) but rather a complex interweaving of all of these attributes into a giant system of oppression. For instance, someone might say, “The US isn’t really racist, it’s classist.” An Intersectionalist would say that classism and racism are interrelated and much closer to being the same than they are to being different. An intersectional feminist would say that in order to fight sexism, you must also fight classism, racism and religious bigotry, since class, race and religious hatred all contribute to the oppression of women as a whole. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/91 "2018-04-05T14:45:10Z")
> [@senoy](#): > > An intersectional feminist would say that in order to fight sexism, you must also fight classism, racism and religious bigotry, since class, race and religious hatred all contribute to the oppression of women as a whole. Sounds exhausting. How many intersectional feminists do you suppose there are? ---
**Author:** ![senoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@senoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senoy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/92 "2018-04-05T14:52:24Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > Sounds exhausting. How many intersectional feminists do you suppose there are? No clue. I’m a cis-gendered, middle-class, white male. I’m the enemy, unfortunately. We’re not even really allowed to be allies since we are inherently incapable of knowing the travails of the oppressed. Such is life. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/93 "2018-04-05T15:29:11Z")
> [@zimaane](#): > > She is actually married, so it’s not that. > > The article isn’t her describing her dating life, it’s her telling you how you must conduct your dating life. So it’s the first option. She doesn’t actually have a list of ten first date questions that she actually asks on actual first dates, she’s just idly speculating on what you might do if you were going on a hypothetical first date. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/94 "2018-04-05T19:07:39Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > [10 Things Every Intersectional Feminist Should Ask On a First Date - Everyday Feminism](https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/12/intersectional-feminist-first-date/) > > The woman in the above article is (I believe) gay, so I’m right out of the picture, but let’s pretend she’s whatever orientation would make it possible for her to date you (which, I fear, is heteronormative, but let’s press on, shall we?) > > She has a checklist of ten questions that you MUST. PASS. for her to consider you for a date. The first few seem reasonable: Do you believe that “Black Lives Matter”? I can see that being a legit dealbreaker. But the “Do you hate the Jews?” (aka BDS) one? And a bunch of the others? We’re dealing with someone who’s the cray-cray. Big time. She is so far out in left field that she’s out in the parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/95 "2018-04-05T20:56:31Z")
Frankly a big one for me is money. Find out if the other person is massively in debt or is poor in handling money or has not pushed themselves into establishing a good career with paychecks and retirement. Dont laugh. Way too many people want others to bail them out or be their sugar daddies/mamas. I’m guessing someone THAT much into politics and social issues has a crappy career and financial status. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/96 "2018-04-06T00:13:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If you read her Twitter account Why the hell would I do that? I also don’t drink milk when people tell me it’s sour, or tumble down stairs people tell me are wobbly. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/97 "2018-04-06T07:02:37Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I think **RickJay** may be suggesting there may not actually be a Mr. Doormat. No, I’m saying her description of the relationship is likely a little on the pick-and-choose side. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/98 "2018-04-06T07:44:41Z")
> [@zimaane](#): > > The article isn’t her describing her dating life, it’s her telling you how you must conduct your dating life. Yes, exactly. Which is the core problem. She appears to subscribe to the “gatekeep the social group” theory of human interaction, whereby you advertise your correctness not just by having the right opinions on the hot button issues, but also by ruthlessly excluding from your social circle anyone who doesn’t also have the right opinions on the hot button issues. So - “every” intersectional feminist “should” ask these questions, because obviously if you consider yourself an intersectional feminist, ruthlessly excluding differing opinions is something you will ALSO be doing, because otherwise you might end up in a relationship with someone who DISAGREES WITH YOU ABOUT SOMETHING!!!1!!! AND THE WORLD WILL END IN FIREY DOOOMM!!11!!! Ahem. Also, fuck that “whiteness is evil” bullshit. In her case, self-hating bullshit IMNSHO, which by itself is a big enough red flag to be seen from the moon. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/99 "2018-04-06T10:01:27Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > So - “every” intersectional feminist “should” ask these questions, because obviously if you consider yourself an intersectional feminist, ruthlessly excluding differing opinions is something you will ALSO be doing, because otherwise you might end up in a relationship with someone who DISAGREES WITH YOU ABOUT SOMETHING!!!1!!! AND THE WORLD WILL END IN FIREY DOOOMM!!11!!! The problem is when your whole life and self-identity revolves around your Stance On Issues. Her beliefs are one set, different groups have different sets. For a different set, I googled for lists of things that a Christian should ask on a first date, and got–[mostly pretty mild stuff, actually](https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=gT7HWsvYA8fQjwS9sZfYDA&q=questions+a+christian+needs+to+ask+first+date&oq=questions+a+christian+needs+to+ask+first+date&gs_l=psy-ab.3..33i22i29i30k1.1283.12976.0.13265.52.30.0.0.0.0.895.3134.5-1j3.4.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..48.4.3127.0..0j0i22i30k1.0.86agy1QdyFU). I did find [one interesting one](https://newspring.cc/articles/5-common-questions-about-dating), though, both because of its content and because of where it came from.\* \*I’ve mentioned before that in college I knew this aggressively Christian total douchebag who afterwards went on to found his own aggressively “hip” megachurch franchise and later get expelled from it for his behavior. The example link is from his church’s web site. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741/100 "2018-04-06T11:08:58Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > Wow, what an insane person she is, truly. Wants women to be treated with the same level of respect as men! Thinks beating up queers is – get this! - NOT a good thing! She’s opposed to ripping off poor people! Wants people in wheelchairs to have opportunities to go to restaurants and theaters! Doesn’t think race-based lynching is something to be proud of! > > And, what’s even more crazy, she doesn’t want to have a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in treating other people as actual humans! > > Yeah, that’s all pretty cray-cray, am I right or am I white, um I mean, right? > > :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: She has a checklist. It is irrelevant what is on the checklist. She is clearly deranged. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-this-woman-date-you-political-very-political/811741.md?page=6)