# Would you associate with a pedophile who was isolated from children? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904 "2008-12-05T19:45:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/61 "2008-12-10T16:38:15Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > This is pretty much my view on the subject. > > My next step would be to have **lust4life** and **FriarTed** removed from the community for being dangerous, violent sociopaths. A couple of points,the O.P. asked for opinions,I would imagine as some sort of a straw poll,so what would you have people do,lie when they answer? Or if the answer is disagreebable to you NOT answer? Thats not an opinion poll thats rubber stamping a predecided cosensus of an opinion that YOU hold. If you wish to be all forgiving to childmolesters then thats your perogertive but you do not have any right to dictate to other people what opinions they should hold on any subject at all. Though I’m sure that you’d still associate with me. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/62 "2008-12-10T17:52:42Z")
> [@](#): > > A couple of points,the O.P. asked for opinions,I would imagine as some sort of a straw poll,so what would you have people do,lie when they answer? > Or if the answer is disagreebable to you NOT answer? > Thats not an opinion poll thats rubber stamping a predecided cosensus of an opinion that YOU hold. I’m sure that just as you have every right to post how you feel, he has every right to post what he thinks of your suggestion to beat someone’s head in. Like it or not, at least his opinion isn’t that we should violently kill someone for a past mistake, especially considering what types of pedophilia there are out there and the situations Though I would agree that it would have been appropriately ironic if he had suggested you have your head beaten in because you seem like a violent sociopath ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/63 "2008-12-10T18:06:02Z")
I don’t know all the pedophiles in the world, it’s true; but the ones I have known were a repugnant, unrepentant cluster of pus-bags. My real-world experience with pedophiles included no examples like the hypothetical kiddie-diddler. So, I repeat: **Lust4Life** gave the correct answer. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/64 "2008-12-10T22:03:34Z")
There sure is a lot of poking about in this thread trying to invent hypothetical situations in which whatever the pedophile did was not really that bad. I just take the hypothetical as it stands in the ordinary meaning – an admitted pedophile who regrets what he has done. I do not take this to mean an admitted pedophile who has not done anything, or an admitted pedophile who has done something that he or she regrets but on an objective basis is not regrettable, or an admitted pedophile who in fact was not a pedophile in the common understanding of the term but instead is a young adult running afoul of staturory rape laws. ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/65 "2008-12-10T22:30:20Z")
I don’t really know. There are so many things to consider. If I had knowledge that the person had done truly horrible things to children, then I don’t think I would ever be able to feel comfortable around them, regardless of them moving to a child-less area of Antarctica to be away from children. I’m curious about the argument that one can not control who they are attracted to. While I don’t doubt the validity of this statement in and of itself, are sexual acts of an adult with a child about _sex_ or are they about _control_? I am not any kind of a therapist and have almost no formal education regarding psychiatry, but I always hear that rape is not about sexual attraction, that it is about the need to control and/or harm and/or humiliate another human being. So does the commission of a sex act on a child _always_ happen because the adult has the hard-wired sexual desire for children? Does it ever just happen because some people are mean and violent and will do awful things to people? (I guess these questions can be applied to a lot of different criminal acts.) I am just asking because I feel like a lot of people here are saying that pedophiles commit acts of sex abuse simply because they are unable to control their natural desires to have sex with children, and something about that just makes me really uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/66 "2008-12-10T23:05:59Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I just take the hypothetical as it stands in the ordinary meaning – an admitted pedophile who regrets what he has done. I do not take this to mean an admitted pedophile who has not done anything, or an admitted pedophile who has done something that he or she regrets but on an objective basis is not regrettable, or an admitted pedophile who in fact was not a pedophile in the common understanding of the term but instead is a young adult running afoul of staturory rape laws. It means what it means to you, but the meaning you find in his regrets are not put there by me (the author of the hypothetical) or him (a fictional character). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/67 "2008-12-10T23:42:46Z")
one hand clapping ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/68 "2008-12-10T23:45:06Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > one hand clapping What the hell? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/69 "2008-12-11T00:07:56Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > What the hell? I think he’s gone all Zen on us. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/70 "2008-12-11T00:41:19Z")
Yup. There is no correct answer – what you you are or what you believe forms your conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/71 "2008-12-11T02:24:28Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > A couple of points,the O.P. asked for opinions,I would imagine as some sort of a straw poll,so what would you have people do,lie when they answer? > Or if the answer is disagreebable to you NOT answer? > Thats not an opinion poll thats rubber stamping a predecided cosensus of an opinion that YOU hold. Good to know that we agree. I don’t recall the poll asking whether you would act like a vigilante and commit extralegal violence on the person in question. And yet that’s exactly what you and **FriarTed** advocated, demonstrating your sociopathic tendencies. > [@Lust4Life](#): > > If you wish to be all forgiving to childmolesters then thats your perogertive but you do not have any right to dictate to other people what opinions they should hold on any subject at all. Never said i did. But choosing not to associate with a person is rather different from expressing a willingness to assault them. > [@Lust4Life](#): > > Though I’m sure that you’d still associate with me. You give yourself too much credit. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/72 "2008-12-11T16:08:03Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Good to know that we agree. > > I don’t recall the poll asking whether you would act like a vigilante and commit extralegal violence on the person in question. And yet that’s exactly what you and **FriarTed** advocated, demonstrating your sociopathic tendencies. > Never said i did. But choosing not to associate with a person is rather different from expressing a willingness to assault them.You give yourself too much credit. But in your eyes I have made a mistake,I haven’t actually acted on my impulses(The character being hypothetical it would be impossible for me to do so) and as a result that doesn’t mean that ordinary decent non sociopathic people like yourself shouldn’t associate with myself. Or at least if you are the least bit consistent in your argument that should be the case.(Dont worry I have no overwhelming desires to be your friend) In actuality you seem to be bending over backwards to make excuses for Paedophiles whilst being absolutely condemnatory against those who disagree with you. By the way I’d look up the meaning of Sociopath if I were you. Also I totally stand by my statement that I think that Paedophiles are the lowest form of scum on this Earth. You feel differently about them but that is your right to do so. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/73 "2008-12-11T16:36:51Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I worked with real-life pedophiles at “treatment center.” How exactly does treat a pedophile? I’ve always heard that it’s not something that can be fixed, pretty much the only thing they do is lock you up or make you take something to kill your sex drive. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/74 "2008-12-11T17:09:26Z")
In this case, they had daily sessions with therapists, weekly sessions with a psychologist, and spent a lot of time in “processing their feelings” and other such horseshit with the staff members like myself whose primary duties were supervisory. Such activities were mandated by therapeutic staff. I kept a log to verify that I was doing it. The mantra of the place was that we were supposed to maintain a therapeutic environment, not a punitive environment. Now here’re the reasons I agree with **Lust4Life** : I never once heard one of those pus-bags admit he had done anything wrong. Not one. The only things I ever heard one of them express sorrow for was getting caught and locked up. Their attitude towards their victims was particularly vile. It’s very hard not to start smashing skulls when you hear kiddie-diddlers blaming the very kids they molested. As much as I needed the money, I first dropped back to being part-time and then quit altogether exactly because I couldn’t bear to be around those septic, feculent, pustulent, suppurating malignancies. Later on, working as a deputy sheriff, I had further contact with the type while working court room security during trials and transporting prisoners. Nothing those pestilent vermin said or did gave me one bit of reason to change my mind about their type. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/75 "2008-12-11T17:51:42Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > In actuality you seem to be bending over backwards to make excuses for Paedophiles whilst being absolutely condemnatory against those who disagree with you. If the concepts here are too difficult for you, you should probably head off to a more simple conversation. I’m not being condemnatory towards those who disagree with me. There are other people in this thread who have expressed an unwillingness to associate with the pedophile in the OP’s hypothetical, and i have made no condemnation of them. I specifically condemn people who would commit unprovoked violence against another person. And that’s what you said you’d do. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/76 "2008-12-11T17:59:53Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > In this case, they had daily sessions with therapists, weekly sessions with a psychologist, and spent a lot of time in “processing their feelings” and other such horseshit with the staff members like myself whose primary duties were supervisory. Such activities were mandated by therapeutic staff. I kept a log to verify that I was doing it. The mantra of the place was that we were supposed to maintain a therapeutic environment, not a punitive environment. Did it work? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/77 "2008-12-11T18:11:23Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I’m not being condemnatory towards those who disagree with me. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10542820&postcount=49](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10542820&postcount=49) ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/78 "2008-12-11T18:16:19Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10542820&postcount=49](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10542820&postcount=49) Perhaps you, also, are out of your depth. As i said, there are people in this thread who have expressed an unwillingness to associate with the person in the OP’s hypothetical. In your case, i was not disagreeing with your desire not to associate with the person; i was merely pointing out the sanctimonious way you chose to express it. If you don’t understand the difference, perhaps this whole issue is too complicated for you. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/79 "2008-12-11T18:28:58Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Did it work? I can’t say. The “clients” who were outplaced were monitored by personnel from other agencies. If there was any recidivism, they’d have been placed in the prison system, not back in the treatment center. My gut feeling, based on daily observation of the clients, is that we taught them to “therapize\*” and not much else. \*-“therapizing” is a term invented by a good friend of mine who has many years of experience as a social worker, special ed teacher, and residential treatment supervisor. Therapizing is something clients do. It means to spend a lot of time talking about one’s self, using as much jargon picked up from therapists and psychologists as one can remember. The overall goal of therapizing is to avoid chores or other things one doesn’t want to do. One can also therapize when one gets caught in an infraction of the institutions client rules. Then, therapizing serves the dual goal of delaying possible punishments and giving the staff the illusion that the client knows he did wrong and is trying to understand _why_ he did it. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904/80 "2008-12-11T18:29:56Z")
Oh I think I can spot someone being sanctimonious when I see it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-associate-with-a-pedophile-who-was-isolated-from-children/475904.md?page=5)