# Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person?? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005 "2013-06-27T01:58:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/181 "2013-06-27T21:34:06Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Excellent idea. Thats the best solution I hear this wooshing sound… > [@QuickSilver](#): > > You have masterfully avoided the question of what should be done with bisexuals. I suppose we should segregate them off with the gays. What’s the difference anyway. Hey now. I’d like to stand up for the bisexuals here. As the point of this scheme seems to be to put the queer folk into special rooms where they can all leer at each other and presumably engage in filthy sex acts on the benches and in the showers and everything, I think we should be allowed in any dressing room we choose, as we are, by definition, equal opportunity leerers. > [@SanVito](#): > > And how are you going to decide who’s gay, anyway? It’s not like we carry membership cards. _psst!_ It’s because you’re all staring at his pendulous schlong, along with us bisexuals. I mean, I’m on the internet and I think I can see it from here. :rolleyes: Incidentally, I’d be fine with coed locker rooms myself. You put yourself in situations where nudity is the norm a few times, and you get over your body consciousness real quick. (Or at least, I do.) **Anaamika** is right, though–younger men and teen boys are raging assholes, for the most part. Never mind locker rooms; I’m not sure they should be allowed in public at all, honestly. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/182 "2013-06-27T22:31:49Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > In the same way many women are uncomfortable sharing a change room with men, and why society for that exact reason has invented separate changing rooms Do you have any evidence that this is why society has invented separate changing rooms? If I had to hazard a guess, I’d speculate that it was because Daddies didn’t want their daughters to see penises before their wedding night. > [@Esco](#): > > Large corporations give people who have fear of heights office space on lower floors all the time Do you have any evidence that large corporations accommodate people who have fear of heights in this way? Do you have any evidence that large corporations accommodate people who are simply “uncomfortable” with heights in this way? 'Cause I got news for ya: homophobia is a phobia in name only. It’s not recognized as a legitimate mental disorder as other phobias are, nor does it have the same disabling effects as other phobias. > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > People who feel like this need to grow the hell up and not be such a pussy. Hey. My pussy can take quite a pounding without crying for mercy, thank you. It’s had small humans pass through it. It bleeds monthly without being worse for wear and stretches to 10 times its resting size in the line of duty. I’d like to see your balls take half the hits my pussy’s taken. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/183 "2013-06-27T22:50:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Ambivalid > Fat guys in locker rooms are impervious to shame. The ones that would be embarrassed stay home. ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/184 "2013-06-27T23:15:54Z")
Here is my summation and last word (I mean MY last word, you guys can go on babbling all night if you want). The problem with the OP is that he, like many straight people, is not necessarily homophobic, but that he has bought into the myth of gays as ravenous sex maniacs who are just barely controlling themselves in the presence of straight guys, and who must be firmly warned away lest they snap and sexually assault you at the drop of a soap. Esco, if all that is bothering you is that gays in a locker room might see you naked, guess what? You are probably looked at and judged for your looks 20 or 30 times every day. If you have a cute ass, straight women have probably looked at it in lust on the street hundreds and hundreds of times. And before you tell me that this is OK because you are attracted to women, remember, many of those getting an eyeful might look like Agnes Skinner (mother of Principal Skinner on the Simpsons). Does that creep you out, ESCO? What about when you go to the beach, Esco? Do you know how many fat girls with mustaches are discretely looking at your basket? Does that creep you out? Or how about straight men and women who notice if you are facially handsome or plain? It happens every time you meet someone, Esco. Does that creep you out? The only solution for you would be to get a sex change, become a strict Muslim, and wear a Burqa and a veil. Otherwise all these people, gay and straight, looking at you and judging your appearance is simply life. Get one! And Tomndebb, I have a bone to pick with you (not a big one, and all puns unintentional :D) but I will get to that. It is this assumption that I and many gay men find insulting, that we must be firmly warned away. The eternal “I have nothing against gays but don’t try to force that stuff on me!” It is that warning that I find so demeaning. \*\*OF COURSE \*\*you don’t want a sexuality that does not interest you forced on you! \*\*OF COURSE! \*\*Do you think we gays are morons, or uncontrollable sex maniacs, or both, that you deem this warning necessary? Take an analogy. A visible minority (say black or Latino) family moves into your neighbourhood. You welcome them, are really nice to them, bring a basket of muffins, and just as you are leaving you remind them that your neighbourhood does not condone prostitution and drug dealing. Are you surprised if the family is suddenly angry and insulted? OF COURSE no nice neighbourhood wants that. It is the warning that is insulting. So here is the tiny bone I want to pick with Tomndebb. In post 21, you said “(I would not even be bothered by a request for a date as long as (the gay guy) accepted a polite “no” as the end of the discussion.)” Did you see what I mean? Did you catch your little bit of subtle stereotyping? It is like telling a black person you have nothing against him as long as he doesn’t try to mug you. \*\*OF COURSE you would expect him to accept a polite “no”! \*\* So would every sane, civilized and reasonable person gay or straight. Why did you need to specify that? Just to be safe, because you can never tell about “those people”? Why not have said: “I would not even be bothered by a request for a date although I would turn him down.” Why not just assume that the hypothetical gay guy who just asked you for a date is reasonable, civilized, and willing to take “no” for an answer? ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/185 "2013-06-27T23:20:14Z")
Here’s the thing, **Esco** - you’re pretty sure that you’ve shared locker rooms with gay men in the past. Nothing untoward happened then. Why not? The gay men (probably) knew they were gay, and they didn’t come on to you. They didn’t stand at the end of the bench drooling. They just went about their business, same as you did. Now say you learn that somebody you see in the gym every day is gay. What changes? He’s not going to suddenly start leering at you or waving his dick around, because the locker room is exactly the same for him as it was yesterday. He’s going to behave the exact same way he did yesterday, before you knew he was gay. The only difference here is that **you** are thinking about having sex with **him**. If that makes you uncomfortable, then knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/186 "2013-06-27T23:23:36Z")
To be fair, **Valteron** , straight guys are often unreasonable and uncivilized when turned down. It is possible that straight guys who say that are projecting. And it’s possible straight guys who say that just don’t think a gay guy can be trusted to act better then a straight guy, which at least sometimes is true. I do think in general gay guys (and gals!) accept rejection easier, if only because they’re more used to it being a sexual minority. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/187 "2013-06-27T23:36:00Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > To be fair, **Valteron** , straight guys are often unreasonable and uncivilized when turned down. It is possible that straight guys who say that are projecting. And it’s possible straight guys who say that just don’t think a gay guy can be trusted to act better then a straight guy, which at least sometimes is true. > > I do think in general gay guys (and gals!) accept rejection easier, if only because they’re more used to it being a sexual minority. Perfectly stated. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/188 "2013-06-27T23:58:44Z")
> [@Valteron](#): > > So here is the tiny bone I want to pick with Tomndebb. In post 21, you said “(I would not even be bothered by a request for a date as long as (the gay guy) accepted a polite “no” as the end of the discussion.)” > > Did you see what I mean? Did you catch your little bit of subtle stereotyping? It is like telling a black person you have nothing against him as long as he doesn’t try to mug you. > > \*\*OF COURSE you would expect him to accept a polite “no”! \*\* So would every sane, civilized and reasonable person gay or straight. > > Why did you need to specify that? Just to be safe, because you can never tell about “those people”? > > Why not have said: “I would not even be bothered by a request for a date although I would turn him down.” Why not just assume that the hypothetical gay guy who just asked you for a date is reasonable, civilized, and willing to take “no” for an answer? IIRC, Tom has served in the Merchant Marine on the Great Lakes. What’s known as “situational homosexuality” is an entirely different animal. Those of us who had to fight off sexual assault weren’t thinking at the time “oh dear, we must never allow these dreadful people to marry or to work with children!” I didn’t even consider them as gay: just rapist assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/189 "2013-06-28T00:40:46Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > IIRC, Tom has served in the Merchant Marine on the Great Lakes. What’s known as “situational homosexuality” is an entirely different animal. Those of us who had to fight off sexual assault weren’t thinking at the time “oh dear, we must never allow these dreadful people to marry or to work with children!” I didn’t even consider them as gay: just rapist assholes. I am not sure if Merchant Seamen on the Great Lakes asked one another out on dates, frankly. And BTW, while the Great Lakes are large for lakes, is the journey soooo long that straight guys have so resort to “situational homosexuality”? The hookers in Detroit and Toronto may not be the best in the world, but. . . . . ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/190 "2013-06-28T00:46:27Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > IIRC, Tom has served in the Merchant Marine on the Great Lakes. What’s known as “situational homosexuality” is an entirely different animal. Those of us who had to fight off sexual assault weren’t thinking at the time “oh dear, we must never allow these dreadful people to marry or to work with children!” I didn’t even consider them as gay: just rapist assholes. Puts me in mind of that funny line in the Shawshank Redemption: Tim Robbins: (Looking to escape the prison rape gang) “Would it help if I told them I’m not homosexual?” Morgan Freeman: “Neither are they. You gotta be human to be homosexual.” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/191 "2013-06-28T01:37:38Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Excellent. Thanks! > > I want to be the guy who has a separate shower stall in the dressing room 😉 Well then, you can be the one to go shower & change at a Motel 6. They’ll leave the light on for you and that violin they’re playing? Its just for you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/192 "2013-06-28T01:55:38Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Except I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Go ask how most NFL players feel aboot this, you’ll find its split aboot 50/50, half are OK with it, the other half are not comfortable sharing dressing room with gays. Your feelings are wrong. Sorry, I know it’s hard to accept but try. > [@Esco](#): > > Also, as I said earlier I would be OK with just a few separate shower stalls, no need to build entire new change rooms altogether. You should bring it up at your next team meeting. It would be fascinating to hear how much flack you catch from your team mates for even suggesting you don’t want to shower in the open with the rest of the guys. I bet they’ll give you a nick name. If you’re lucky, it’ll be Charlize. Here’s a hint for the next time you bring up the subject of privacy shower stalls. Leave the homophobic paranoia out of your argument. I promise you, you’ll get far more people on your side. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/193 "2013-06-28T03:04:11Z")
I have a phobia of needles. Some diabetics might sometimes inject themselves (even typing “inject themselves” gives me a shudder) with insulin in public. Do I demand that they not do this? Do I demand separate accommodations for insulin-using diabetics everywhere I might go? No. If I did see someone injecting themselves in public, I would look away as quickly as possible, and try to think of other things. If you get to demand that you never share a locker room with a gay man, why shouldn’t I get to demand that nobody ever use a hypodermic needle in public? Why shouldn’t arachnophobes be able to demand that all spiders be killed by any means necessary? If you do see a gay man ogling you in a locker room, I suggest you do what I do if I see someone using a hypodermic needle- look away and think about other things. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/194 "2013-06-28T03:56:19Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > He might accidentally trip and fall on someone’s dick. Someone’s gay dick. > > Doesn’t that happen to you? > [@Loach](#): > > Accident. Yeah right. [Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,11150/) ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/195 "2013-06-28T04:04:44Z")
Haven’t read the thread so I’ll just answer the OP: Regardless of their sexual orientation I’d be uncomfortable being naked in front of a stranger I knew was sexually interested in me. If I can’t tell they’re sexually interested in me, I don’t care. If I can tell, and I can continue being able to tell after I’ve asked them to stop making it possible for me to tell, then we have issues bigger than their sexual orientation. However, I’d be uncomfortable being dressed in front of a stranger I knew was sexually interested in me so a locker room doesn’t change the equation much. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/196 "2013-06-28T04:35:11Z")
> [@Valteron](#): > > So here is the tiny bone I want to pick with Tomndebb. In post 21, you said “(I would not even be bothered by a request for a date as long as (the gay guy) accepted a polite “no” as the end of the discussion.)” > > Did you see what I mean? Did you catch your little bit of subtle stereotyping? It is like telling a black person you have nothing against him as long as he doesn’t try to mug you. > > \*\*OF COURSE you would expect him to accept a polite “no”! \*\* So would every sane, civilized and reasonable person gay or straight. IANATomndebb, but I said something like that, too. I also said I’d expect the same of a guy. Why did I say it? To point out I expect the same of anybody who hits on me and gets rejected, and because I’ve gotten passes from both men and women who wouldn’t take “no”. “You just have to try it, hon!” while trying to grab me is as bad when the culprit is male, 6’4" and 220lb as when it’s female, 5’0" and 130. I’m pretty tired of the stereotype of “guys who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer” - what’s bad is “people who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer”, regardless of equipment - and that’s a message which apparently needs to be said more often, because so long as there’s one moron who doesn’t get it, there’s one too many. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/197 "2013-06-28T06:08:51Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I guess this question is mostly for you heterosexual guys out there, but I suppose it could be asked of heterosexual women also, relating to Lesbians. > Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person?? > > I’m a heterosexual male, and I will admit I’m a bit homophobic. I can honestly say I would not be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person. > > How do you guys feel aboot this??. Couldn’t possibly care less. (Straight Male. Wife and I have straight, gay, and lesbian friends.) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/198 "2013-06-28T06:50:21Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > To be fair, **Valteron** , straight guys are often unreasonable and uncivilized when turned down. It is possible that straight guys who say that are projecting. And it’s possible straight guys who say that just don’t think a gay guy can be trusted to act better then a straight guy, which at least sometimes is true. > > I do think in general gay guys (and gals!) accept rejection easier, if only because they’re more used to it being a sexual minority. Yep – read some of the numerous threads in the Pit about guys whining that when girls say “no” they really mean “yes”, and how it’s acceptable to keep pushing. (Note: I am NOT talking about outright rape, just be a dick) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/199 "2013-06-28T11:01:27Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Good news, OP! Any fear or predjudice can be defeated. Here is an interesting and entertaining list of homophobes who overcame their fears: [Top Anti-Gay Politicians Caught Being Gay: Anti-Gay Activists Out of the Closet](http://m.ranker.com/list/top-10-anti-gay-activists-caught-being-gay/joanne) I know this is a hijack but I wanted to point out a great line at that website by the ever-pithy Barney Frank: > [@](#): > > When asked if David Dreier was passed over for the job due to his “moderate” views, openly-gay Democratic Congressman Barney Frank told the press “Yes, in the sense that I marched in the moderate pride parade last summer and went to a moderate bar.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/200 "2013-06-28T13:59:31Z")
Yes, why would you be uncomfortable? Are you 12? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=11)