# Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person?? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005 "2013-06-27T01:58:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/81 "2013-06-27T13:41:42Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Wouldn’t it be a better long-term plan to teach our sons to NOT LEER at other people, or to NOT BE CREEPS when approaching a person to whom they are attracted? Sure, that would work in a perfect world. Unfortunately many people have tendencies to not follow the rules ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/82 "2013-06-27T13:43:41Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Sure, that would work in a perfect world. Unfortunately many people have tendencies to not follow the rules Then you confront and publically shame those individuals who cannot behave like civilized persons. You do not insist that everyone in their “class” be segregated in case one might act like an ass. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/83 "2013-06-27T13:45:50Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Sure, that would work in a perfect world. Unfortunately many people have tendencies to not follow the rules But I don’t feel we even try. It’s considered a rite of passage to ogle girls and stare at them and say rude things. Young guys are absolutely assholes. If I must share a locker room I’d want the lower age limit to be 25 or so. All of the younger bucks can go in their own segregated little locker room until they can prove they are mature enough to play with the rest of us. Naw, I think the divisions we have now are just fine. Boys over there and girls over here. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/84 "2013-06-27T13:47:28Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > No, I dont. And thats a stupid, false equivalence No, it’s not. It’s entirely based on feeling uncomfortable, one from sex and one from skin color. I don’t see why society needs to cater to either prejudice. The facts are that nearly every locker room has gays and straights together and it’s not a problem. It only becomes a problem when some folks decide that separate but equal is the only solution to a problem, rather than learning to get along. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/85 "2013-06-27T13:49:41Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Asexuals arent very interested in sex. I fail to see what point you’re trying to make 😕 You have masterfully avoided the question of what should be done with bisexuals. I suppose we should segregate them off with the gays. What’s the difference anyway. > [@Esco](#): > > No, I dont. And thats a stupid, false equivalence No it isn’t. Homophobia is stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/86 "2013-06-27T13:57:58Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You have masterfully avoided the question of what should be done with bisexuals. I suppose we should segregate them off with the gays. What’s the difference anyway Excellent idea. Thats the best solution > [@QuickSilver](#): > > No it isn’t. Homophobia is stupid Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/87 "2013-06-27T14:00:25Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I would be a little uncomfortable sharing locker rooms with men all the time, though, unless a lot of men (not all) were trained to behave a little better. I highly doubt anyone will be looking at me, but I’m sure the attractive women wouldn’t like it one bit. You might as well just call it the Boner Room in that case! If there were some grand fiat and all of a sudden all locker rooms were made coed, chaos would ensue and “the boner room” would be a kind way to describe it. If we didn’t spend the first 20 years of our lives developing the exclusive association between nudity and sex, it would be completely different. I’ll quote a post I made in a thread about NBA player Jason Collins coming out here, since I think it’s pretty relevant. > [@First openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport- NBA player Jason Collins](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/first-openly-gay-athlete-playing-in-a-major-american-team-sport-nba-player-jason-collins/657012/57): > > Nudity is only as sexualized as we make it. For most straight Americans, nudity and sexuality are linked because we segregate genders in almost every setting that involves nudity _except_ sexual settings. Gay Americans, though, grow up in that same context, so same-sex nudity is associated with locker rooms as much as with sex. For a gay man, especially an athlete, showering in a group setting with other men doesn’t have to be anything more than a shower, because it’s something he’s done for years. Locker rooms are public spaces, and sex is pretty much a private activity. Gay and straight men share locker rooms all the time, whether or not the straight guys know it, without issues. There’s no reason this couldn’t work for everyone, except for the question of how to start it. I mean, my high school theater had coed dressing rooms. If there’s a group of people less prepared to maturely handle semi-public nudity than high school students, I don’t know who it would be. If high school students (seriously, high school!) can make that work without problems, I’d say anybody can. I don’t think **Anaamika’s** lower age limit of 25 is the answer, though, because I think the associations between sex and nudity are pretty well set by then - we’d have to start with younger kids and do it as a generational shift. But because we so strongly associate nudity with sex, and because we are so paranoid about sex and minors, it’ll be a long time before we try it. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/88 "2013-06-27T14:02:17Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > So can we have men and women sharing showers and dressing rooms then?! It seems many of you ladies seem to be OK with lesbians (and possibly checking out your bodies), why cant we have men and women sharing dressing rooms also?? I hope this doesn’t give you too much of a headache, but there are places where that is indeed the case. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/89 "2013-06-27T14:02:34Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > I don’t think **Anaamika’s** lower age limit of 25 is the answer, though, because I think the associations between sex and nudity are pretty well set by then - we’d have to start with younger kids and do it as a generational shift. But because we so strongly associate nudity with sex, and because we are so paranoid about sex and minors, it’ll be a long time before we try it. Yes, you are right here on all counts, including it being a long time before it happens! I just meant if we had to start RIGHT NOW RIGHT THIS MOMENT. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/90 "2013-06-27T14:04:08Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Excellent idea. Thats the best solution > Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. > Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. > > People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something You are not afraid of heights or spiders. You are afraid of the potential behaviour of another person, and you wish to avoid interacting with these persons because of your fear, and not because of any actual behaviour on their part. There is a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/91 "2013-06-27T14:07:42Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. > Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. > > People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something Great. I’ll insist that I be given an office on the first floor since I’m afraid of heights\* and don’t want to risk being near a window. Because that’s totally fair. Or maybe I could just suck it up and cope, or get some freaking therapy to deal with it so I can be a normal human being? - I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/92 "2013-06-27T14:09:15Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > You are not afraid of heights or spiders. You are afraid of the potential behaviour of another person, and you wish to avoid interacting with these persons because of your fear, and not because of any actual behaviour on their part. > > There is a difference. Sure, except people still can’t help who (or what) they’re uncomfortable with. If some people are uncomfortable changing in front of gay people, then thats the way it is. In the same way many women are uncomfortable sharing a change room with men, and why society for that exact reason has invented separate changing rooms ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/93 "2013-06-27T14:11:35Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Great. I’ll insist that I be given an office on the first floor since I’m afraid of heights\* and don’t want to risk being near a window. Because that’s totally fair. > > Or maybe I could just suck it up and cope, or get some freaking therapy to deal with it so I can be a normal human being? > > - I’m not Large corporations give people who have fear of heights office space on lower floors all the time ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/94 "2013-06-27T14:11:57Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. > Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. > > People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something True. All real fears suffered by some people. But notice how we do not level high rise buildings or make planes fly at lower altitudes or exterminate all spiders. You have an irrational fear? Deal with it. Nobody is going to segregate dressing rooms because of your irrational fear of gays. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/95 "2013-06-27T14:15:22Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Sure, except people still can’t help who (or what) they’re uncomfortable with. > > If some people are uncomfortable changing in front of gay people, then thats the way it is. So gay people must be segregated because of your own paranoia? And how are you going to decide who’s gay, anyway? It’s not like we carry membership cards. > [@Esco](#): > > In the same way many women are uncomfortable sharing a change room with men, and why society for that exact reason has invented separate changing rooms The sexes are segregated because our ‘societies’ have taught us prudishness and decided ‘on high’ that the sexes shall be segregated. It’s not like women got together and wrote a petition. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/96 "2013-06-27T14:17:43Z")
Yes, why not? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/97 "2013-06-27T14:17:45Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Large corporations give people who have fear of heights office space on lower floors all the time Awesome. I’m going to claim fear of heights so I can sit in the coffee shop in the lobby every day. Also, they’ll have to move all our team meetings there because I simply can’t function in the fishbowl meeting room on the 19th floor. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/98 "2013-06-27T14:19:33Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Sure, except people still can’t help who (or what) they’re uncomfortable with. > > If some people are uncomfortable changing in front of gay people, then thats the way it is. Actually, at the risk of derailing this thread. What ‘exactly’ are you afraid of? What do you think is going to happen if a gay guy sees your naked butt? Fact is, gay people have grown up knowing that 95% of people around them don’t feel the same way, so ogling people in the gym just isn’t something we are in the habit of doing. We are also used to seeing people of our preferred gender naked, and don’t associate every such interaction as sexual. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/99 "2013-06-27T14:20:45Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I think thats a fair statement. > > Thats why I think in amateur and pro sports its time we start segregating dressing rooms based on sexual preferences. Men and women should have separate change rooms, and gay and straight athletes should as well Since there are probably gay athletes who don’t like being ogled, and probably gay athletes who like to ogle, that isn’t going to work. The answer then is to have “creepy” and a “non-creepy” changing rooms. Although I think there could be some difficulty getting people to self-identify as creepy. Alternatively, have unsegregated changing rooms, but build individual private cubicles large enough to accommodate a shower, somewhere to hang dirty/clean clothes without them getting wet and enough space to change. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/100 "2013-06-27T14:23:09Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > So gay people must be segregated because of your own paranoia? > > And how are you going to decide who’s gay, anyway? It’s not like we carry membership cards. Memebership cards, puh-leeze! How do you feel about pink stars stitched to your coat? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=6)